Simple stand-up comedy, "Buying Pears"

Lines:

As the saying goes, it is better to buy than to sell. This is really a wise saying! No need. I said, among all of you here, who hasn’t had the experience of being eaten when you buy something? What? What does eating tofu mean? Being taken advantage of! This is a fashion word I just learned.

Originally, this businessman makes profits as a matter of course. He does business just to make money. But if a gentleman loves money, he must get it wisely! Nowadays, many businessmen are not thinking about how to improve service quality and operate with integrity, but to make profits by mixing things up and cheating.

No, our neighbor Aunt Zhang bought three kilograms of apples on the street a few days ago. After a long time of exorbitant price, she sold one to one and a half yuan for one and three kilograms. When she brought it back, she weighed one or two kilograms on her own scale. Forty taels, seventy-eight cents was lost in vain, and Aunt Zhang was so angry that she developed high blood pressure.

Another time, Miss Wang from our unit met a seller of oranges on her way home from get off work. When she saw that the oranges were good, she wanted to buy some. But she couldn't stand the sweet talk of the seller, so she originally wanted to buy two kilograms. At the end of the day, I packed five kilograms.

Of course the price had to be set. The hawker asked for two yuan per catty. Xiao Wang paid back from 1 to 5 yuan to 1 to 8 yuan, but the hawker still refused. The two of them fought back and forth and neither of them gave in. In the end, The hawker lowered his voice and said, "Eight dollars is fine, but I can make an appointment for you on the scale of the vegetable seller over there."

Xiao Wang was confused and asked him why, and the hawker said mysteriously Said: "They are all called "Ba Liang" over there. When Xiao Wang heard this, he was startled and thought that he couldn't do it that way. It’s easy to calculate this account! If you calculate it as two yuan, five kilograms will cost you ten yuan. If you calculate it as one yuan and eight, five kilograms will cost you nine yuan, which is a yuan cheaper. But if you weigh eight taels to one, five kilograms will become four kilograms, so you will lose a yuan in vain. money.

Xiao Wang graduated from college and was quite smart. How could he do such a stupid thing! He didn’t even pay back the price, so he asked the vendor to weigh the oranges and go home. Normally it would be fine, but Xiao Wang's mother is a careful person. After she retired, she would buy groceries, cook at home, and take care of her husband and children. When I saw my daughter coming back from buying a bagful of oranges, I took out the convenience scale used for grocery shopping and made an appointment. Hey! Three and a half kilograms. The guy used a seven-liang scale.

Gaining a pound or a pound is the most common method. You may try your best to get a high price, but in the end, he will make up for it on the scale. However, whether it's a short pound or a few ounces, or whether it's mixed with fake things, it's all a shameful trick, and he doesn't feel justified in using it, so he has to coax you and keep saying nice things to make you I'm so happy, I can finally take advantage of you.

Although the buyer was deceived, it was not a big loss because he got a lot of good things to say. And I met such a person, he is neither mixed up, nor short-changed. He will take advantage of you and still be angry with you, and finally make you suffer and still be angry. Someone said, how is it possible? If I don’t buy it, you can still grab it!

You are angry with me and I am angry with you. It’s not necessarily who will make the other angry! But I want to tell you, no So what's going on! What's going on? Listen to me and tell you slowly. I got off work that day and was riding home when I heard the phone ring. I took out my phone and saw that it was my wife, so I quickly answered it.

My wife said on the phone that my mother-in-law is sick, has a cold, and has a fever! She just wants to eat frozen pears and wants me to buy them quickly. After answering the phone, I hurried to the market. It was getting late and it was cold, so I wouldn't be able to buy anything for a while. If I really can't buy it, my wife will freeze me.

Extended information:

Stand-up cross talk is a form of cross talk. One person speaks as stand-up cross talk, two people speak as counterpart cross talk, and three or more people call group cross talk. Stand-up comedy is a folk art form developed on the basis of folk jokes. It not only has the characteristics of cross talk, but also inherits the artistic techniques of folk jokes, stories, and storytelling. It has strong storytelling and full of interest, so it has been widely circulated in society.

Stand-up comedy tells a joke. Although stand-up comedy also tells a story and there are characters in the story, there must be "jokes" (the crosstalk term is "baggage") that make people laugh. A stand-up comic must find a way to make people laugh. A stand-up comic has the tone, movements and expressions of a stand-up comic.

Reference: Baidu Encyclopedia-Stand-up Comic