Love children should learn to respect their early education. Children's personality and thoughts are greatly influenced by their families. The future depends on the growth of children at this stage. Cultivating children's practical ability is conducive to their future development. The following sharing love children should learn to respect their early education.

If you love children, you must learn to respect them. Early education 1 Some injuries happen quietly.

JeremyBentham, a famous philosopher, famously said, "There are two kinds of people in the world, one divides the world into two kinds of people and the other doesn't". In my opinion, there are two kinds of parents in the world, one is to treat children as "personal belongings" and the other is not.

Recently, I read the memoirs of a student who has returned to the United States. In his memoirs, he complained bitterly that his parents "cared too much" for him since childhood, which led to his mental illness. He not only blacked out the contact information with his parents, but also 12 didn't go home during the Spring Festival. ...

After reading this memoir, my biggest feeling is that this student studying in the United States is "sensitive" and "fragile", with cognitive bias, and really needs psychological counseling and help. But the growth of a child, in addition to parents' education, the environment is also a great influence factor. We can't say that the psychological problems of a child as an adult are caused by his parents when he was a child, but parents do have some inappropriate places in raising their children. They raise their children as "personal belongings", not as "children". The fundamental reason is that they lack due empathy and respect for their children. As parents, we should do the right thing for our children from the perspective of parents.

There are some details in the memoirs that deserve our parents' attention:

The mother dressed her son in a skirt and dressed her son as a girl;

When the son was bullied, the mother asked him to "cry" and tell the teacher;

You need to wear shorts for the performance, but mother still insists on wearing pants for her son.

The son was laughed at by relatives because he could not peel eggs, and his parents disagreed;

How many parents know the meaning of "respect"

Parents who raise their children as "personal belongings" are characterized by the fact that the children are mine, and I can raise them as I like and teach them as I like. They treat and take care of them from the perspective of a parent. And a parent who knows how to respect his children will treat them as an individual separated from their parents, treat them as a person, give them respect and necessary recognition, and know how to put themselves in their shoes.

Parents who know how to respect their children, if their children don't want to wear a certain dress, they may patiently ask their children's reasons, and if the reasons are appropriate, they will support them; Parents who know how to respect their children will know how to listen to their children's voices first and even encourage them to give solutions when they are bullied. A parent who knows how to respect his child can feel the child's sadness when the child is laughed at and protect the child in time ... in short, "respect the child's heart."

Judging from the development stage of Eriksson's personality, children at the age of 2 or 3 already have the psychological demand of "independence", which is embodied in "I want to wear green clothes instead of blue" and "I want to wear jumping shoes instead of white cloth shoes" ... When children reach the age of 4 or 5, they have the psychological demand of "initiative", which is embodied in "I will eat if you let me".

"Respect" children, parents must do at least three things:

1, have the consciousness of respecting children.

Psychologist Eric Fromm said that love without respect is control. To have a sense of respect for children is to know how to start from respecting children's language and behavior and understand the ideas behind their language and behavior, instead of denying and criticizing children from the beginning, let alone forcing and scolding them.

One day in a restaurant, because a child didn't want to eat, his mother rudely forced him to say, "If you don't eat, I won't want you ..." Before long, the child lay on the ground and rolled around, causing his mother to shout, "You've humiliated me! I've never seen an unreasonable child like you ... "The child didn't get respect from his mother, so he took feedback that he didn't respect his mother; A mother respects herself, but not her children.

2. Give children the space of their own choice.

Educator maria montessori taught that children have a strong sense of personal dignity, while adults usually don't realize that they are fragile and depressed. Many parents know how to maintain the dignity of others, but they ignore that their children need dignity, even children are no exception. From the age of 2, children have a strong will to choose independently, such as what toys to play and what fruit to eat first. Although it is not the child who has the final say, parents had better give their children the right to choose. If parents deny it for a long time and always help their children make up their minds, it will cause setbacks to their children, which in turn will lead to learned helplessness. They will give up their choices and even resent their parents.

One day, I took my children to the bookstore. A little girl nearby took a fancy to a children's book. She was attracted by the cover. She really wanted her father to buy it for her, but his father coldly refused: "Why are you always so naive?" Children should not look at useless things! "I saw the embarrassment on the little girl's face. It is conceivable that this child will not be happy in the future, because she has a father who doesn't know how to safeguard his dignity. On the way home, my son asked me, "mom, what's useless?" "This question is too difficult to answer. I thought for a long time before saying," What is useless is useless only to those who think they are useless. "Like your toy transformers, it doesn't work for me, but it works for you. Nothing is absolutely useless ... "

3. Learn to have empathy for children.

Psychologist TeresaWiseman said that empathy is the ability to empathize with others. Children often need parents' approval when they are young. Even if not, I hope to get the understanding of my parents. Children can gain self-confidence only when they feel that their parents have empathy for them, because this is the care and love for their children. Empathy parents will also cultivate their children with empathy and understanding, because parents understand their thoughts and they also learn to understand others.

Confucius, a philosopher, is a model of sympathy for children. It is said that one day, Confucius and Luz were driving a carriage to Mount Tai, and a little boy blocked the way. Lutz was very angry, but when Confucius heard the child say that he built a "city" in front of him with mud, the child said, "Are you going to let the city make way for the carriage? Or is the carriage going around the city? " After hearing this, Confucius apologized to the child, and then let Luz drive the carriage around the child's "city". Probably Confucius knew that it didn't take much time for the carriage to go around, but the children spent all their time building cities with mud.

Ji Bolun said, your child is not your child. Children are themselves, and respecting children is the warmest parenting of parents.

If you love children, you must learn to respect them. Children in the family should be respected and respected.

Everyone is eager to get respect from others, and so are children. When a child is respected by adults, he will know how to respect others when he grows up. Education experts say that children's initial feeling of being respected is obtained from their parents, and the awareness of respecting others is gradually established through repeated training and education in daily life.

Children are vivid life, but also rich in emotion and personality. Only by fully respecting children can children develop healthily, happily and comprehensively. Parents' respect for their children can help them form self-esteem. A child's sound personality is established under the conditions of self-confidence and self-esteem.

Now some young parents, because of their good education, have a better understanding of their children's growth needs and can respect their children in their daily lives. However, quite a few parents know something about respecting their children, but they can't do it in real life. It is not easy to learn to respect children, because this is not something you want to learn overnight. It should be based on a correct understanding, pay more attention to it, master skills, and truly act consciously from the heart.

To respect children, we must follow the natural laws of their growth and development.

Whether it is a child's physical or psychological development, there are inherent laws of its own development. However, every parent wants his children to study hard, work hard and live a good life in the future. Driven by this desire, we are more and more eager for our children to learn all kinds of cultural knowledge in advance, so that they can learn better, learn more easily and go smoothly in the future after entering primary school. However, if it violates the natural law of children's development, it will often make things very bad, which will not only fail to achieve the expected results of parents, but also affect the normal development of children.

According to a survey, the incidence of sleep disorders such as talking, grinding teeth, night terrors, sleepwalking and enuresis among children over five years old in Shanghai is as high as 46.97%, and one of the important reasons is excessive study pressure. Children who enter the learning stage prematurely will inevitably encounter all kinds of difficulties and failures, and many parents just criticize and scold their children blindly, but rarely review their mentality and behavior. Driven by the desire for success, parents can only accept their children's success, but not their children's failure. In this case, it is impossible to respect children. Educator Rousseau said: "naturally, children want to look like children before they become adults." If we disturb this order, some fruits will be premature. They will not be full, nor sweet, and will soon rot. In other words, we will train some young doctors and older children. " In fact, what children need is a natural development schedule, and parents should let their children go through each development stage step by step.

To respect children, we must respect their independent personality and self-awareness.

When children are two or three years old, self-awareness gradually forms. They will ask "I will do it myself" and "I will do it myself", and they are eager to try everything. This is a normal phenomenon of children's psychological development to a certain stage. However, many parents are afraid that they can't do well, so they always change to do it, thus depriving their children of the opportunity to learn and exercise. It is unfair for children to be accused and complained by their parents when they can't do anything or can't do anything well. As parents, they should support their children in various ways as their age grows and their sense of independence increases, such as expressing their trust in their children, giving them independent space, giving them the autonomy to spend their time, respecting their choices, being kind to their friends and so on.

Respect children, but also pay attention to protect their self-esteem. Psychologists believe that self-esteem is a spiritual need, and maintaining self-esteem is human instinct and nature. Children's self-esteem is the driving force for their growth. It is the responsibility of qualified parents to protect their children's self-esteem and enhance their self-confidence.

To respect children, we must give them some free space.

In addition to the need to eat and dress well, children need to be respected, independent and creative. To respect children, we must give them freedom and independence and let them choose and explore freely.

Why do children nowadays often feel unhappy when they are loved? Why do parents scrimp and save for their children, but they often don't get their children's understanding? The reason is that children are dominated by their parents and are accused too much. Parents often impose too many ideas on their children. Many parents expect their children to succeed. They are forced to instill too much knowledge into their children, depriving them of time and opportunities to play games and explore themselves. This is a sign of disrespect for children; Some parents think they love their children, and take care of trivial matters such as eating and dressing, depriving them of the right to do it themselves and exercise their self-care ability. This is also a sign of disrespect for their children ... At the same time, children lose the fun of childhood early because of too much learning pressure, which will affect their social and psychological development, and it is difficult to find self-worth.

Of course, respecting children is not blindly obeying children, but should pursue the harmony and unity of respect and requirements. As parents, we should put down our airs, put ourselves and our children on an equal footing, and strive to seek psychological communication and tacit understanding with their children. Love and respect children, let children feel the love of their parents, feel their own value, and learn to respect their parents and others, which is really an effective way to teach children.