about this book?
The book "Five Problems in Life" reveals the rationality of marriage, family and friendship in the course of its evolution from the perspective of human nature. Through the analysis of various interpersonal conflicts, we can guide people to feel happiness in their daily lives, and then help people build up their confidence and courage in life. Its Chinese version was translated by Mr. Fu Lei, a famous translator and educator. His beautiful and fluent writing restored the incisive analysis and famous sayings and aphorisms in the book, which made people greatly inspired to read.
core content?
The core idea of this book is that there are contradictions and conflicts between men and women, between parents and children, and between our wishes and happiness. Constant conflict, constant reconciliation and constant balance are the essence of marriage and family; Conversely, the sense of system and form of marriage and family also ensures that we can get the benefits brought by such a relationship. Because of this, facing up to contradictions and accepting them instead of trying to escape and eliminate them is the way for us to enjoy the happiness of marriage and family, so that we can live more calmly and happily.
Preface
Five Questions of Life was translated and introduced to China in 193s. The title of the book is very grand, but it is not a thick book, but a thin book, but it really discusses some important events in life: marriage, family relations, happiness and so on.
These topics have been discussed by countless celebrities and scholars since ancient times, and even become specialized subjects. But even today, they are always talking about new things. Take the family as an example, there will be discussions about "family of origin" on the Internet every now and then: people tend to think that the cultural atmosphere, knowledge level and even emotional intelligence level of family of origin will greatly affect children's growth and future. There is also "forced marriage by parents", which is also a passion of many film and television dramas. Young people who are "forced to get married" always feel great pressure and can't wait to never go home again.
Family life often bothers us, but most of us are still actively forming families. Not only that, but for interpersonal relationships such as love and friendship, human beings often "know that there are tigers in the mountains and prefer to travel in the mountains." It is from this point that the book "Five Problems in Life" reveals the rationality of marriage, family and friendship established in its evolution. As an educational work, the main purpose of this book is to guide people to feel happiness in their daily lives through the analysis of various interpersonal conflicts, and then establish confidence and courage in life.
It is also a discussion of major issues in life. Some books are too instructive, while others emphasize academic analysis such as sociology, which makes it difficult for the public to understand. The starting point of the book "Five Problems in Life" is human nature. It analyzes our human instinct in a clever and humorous way. It not only quotes many famous sayings to testify, but also combines many examples in life, which makes people feel very grounded and easy to produce * * *.
More importantly, the Chinese version of this book was translated by Mr. Fu Lei, a famous translator and educator. Mr. Fu Lei translated a large number of classic French works in his life, including romain rolland, Voltaire and other famous works. He not only has outstanding achievements in translation, but also is unique in education. This book "Five Problems in Life" is his gift to his son who is in love. I hope he can face love, marriage and future life with less human impulse, and look at these problems from a more grand perspective, and find his own way.
Generally speaking, the core point of this book is that there are conflicts between men and women, between parents and children, and between our wishes and happiness. Constant conflict, constant reconciliation and constant balance are the essence of marriage and family; Conversely, the sense of system and form of marriage and family also ensures that we can get the benefits brought by such a relationship. Facing up to contradictions and accepting them instead of trying to escape and eliminate them is the way for us to enjoy the happiness of marriage and family, so that we can live more calmly and happily.
Moroua, the author of this book, is a famous French writer, famous for his biographical writing, and also an out-and-out "king of golden sentences". Because in many of his novels and biographies, including this book, he has written many golden sentences about love, friendship and life, and every sentence can be extracted as a motto. For example, he talked about the family: "In the family, it is the most vulgar ordinary people who rule life. Just as a family walks, it is the slowest pace that rules everyone's pace. " Let's talk about marriage again: "Many happy marriages have become true friendships after several years. All the most beautiful forms of friendship, such as respect and spiritual communication, are available. "
It is worth mentioning that in Mr. Fu Lei's translation, beautiful writing accurately conveys the views in the book, and famous sayings and aphorisms abound. It is estimated that you are too busy to underline while reading.
well, after introducing the basic situation of this book and the author's profile, I will describe the contents of the book in detail for you. Since this book is called "Five Problems in Life", it obviously discusses five problems, namely: marriage, parents and children, friendship, economic institutions and happiness.
Among them, marriage, parent-child relationship and friendship are indeed important interpersonal relationships in our lives, but the topic of "political institutions and economic institutions" seems not to be a major issue in life. In fact, in this part, the author analyzes the interaction between social politics and economy, which leads us to look at the possibility of happiness in life from a more grand perspective.
The last chapter of this book is devoted to "happiness", which can be regarded as a concluding part: after we have clearly understood the essence of marriage, parent-child, friendship, political economy and other things, we can learn specific ways to integrate these things and make ourselves happier.
judging from the overall content structure of this book, the topic of marriage and parenthood has existed since ancient times, and it is closely combined with our lives, and is paid more attention by modern people. Relatively speaking, it is the more important content of this book. In addition, this book has a summative topic of "happiness", and I will mainly tell you three key contents here:
The first point is that human nature prefers freedom, and the difference between men and women is comparable to that of Mars and Mercury, but why do we still need marriage?
second, why are we always rebelling against the family and returning to the family? What is the existence of family for us?
thirdly, what is the real difference between "misfortune" and "happiness"? Can we increase our happiness through certain "exercises"?
the first part
ok, let's take a look at the first important content: why do we need marriage?
We were told from a very young age that going to school, going to work, getting married and having children is a life process that everyone has to spend. It is a matter of course that everyone should get married. In the first chapter, the author tells you clearly that marriage is not a matter of course. In other words, human nature does not need marriage.
The author lists a series of reasons why European celebrities and scholars talk about "not getting married". One of the obvious reasons is that the reason why men and women like each other lies in the love of the mind and the lust of the body, and these desires are naturally changeable. I love you today because of a smile, and I may hate you tomorrow because of a mean word. So why should we use the vows of marriage to bind our nature?
Marriage will bind nature, so don't get married. Wei Xiaobao used this reason to justify his marrying seven wives. In modern society, many playboys often talk about similar words. However, in this book, the author has not made any moral judgment on it. Because the starting point of discussion in this book is human nature.
In addition to the reason for not getting married just now, there is a view that getting married will reduce a man's courage and strength. There is a folk saying in China, such as "henpecked wife" and "raking ears". That is to say, after a man is married, he will be controlled by a woman and will listen to his wife in everything. Western churches also require priests to remain single. They think that being single can give a man more strength.
after putting forward these reasons against marriage, the author showed his attitude: indeed, these attacks on marriage are quite reasonable, but marriage has persisted for thousands of years. This shows that marriage has its reasons for existence, and this reason is stronger. The reason is that good love makes men and women appreciate each other and want to be together, but if there is no system to support their love, this relationship will easily fall apart.
For this point, the author still analyzes it from human nature. Everyone is selfish by nature and will use others to protect their own comfort and safety. If everyone is allowed to be so selfish and fight every day, this day will not pass. So we need the opposite instinct to fight against this selfishness, which is the instinct of sex and the instinct of motherhood. When a man and a woman fall in love, this gives play to the instinct of sex; When men and women share a room and a woman gives birth to a child, the child brings a maternal instinct. If two people break up every three days because of a little contradiction, these two instincts can't be satisfied continuously. Therefore, marriage not only satisfies our instinct, exercises our endurance and tolerance, but also makes the initial good relationship between men and women last for a long time, which is an important reason for the birth and continuation of marriage.
In this regard, some people also said that marriage is not necessary to satisfy the instinct of loving and having children. I can also love this today and that tomorrow. I am unrestrained. The author also made an analysis of this: that kind of unrestrained indulgence is essentially a kind of mechanical repetition of happiness, which will make people feel bored and bored for a long time.
Not only that, love itself is exclusive. If one of the lovers promiscuous, it is likely to attract the jealousy and resistance of the other, thus making the relationship between the two unable to continue. In today's world, polygamy is far less than monogamy, which is a clear proof.
In other words, the author thinks that the reason why marriage continues is because it satisfies our instinct of sex and procreation. But in fact, with the development of human society today, the satisfaction brought by marriage is not only physical, but also spiritual, such as pursuing the same ideals and interests; At the same time, it also includes certain material factors, such as gathering the strength of both families to make the next generation grow better. In this way, the author's view is limited by certain times.
Then the author further points out that it is not difficult to establish marriage. In other words, we can easily find a suitable partner without considering external conditions such as property. But this seems to be contrary to our experience. Whether in film and television dramas or in real life, we may have heard older unmarried people complain like this: we either don't want to get married, or we can't meet the right person. If we don't have the same language, we just don't like it. What should we do?
The author's point of view is that as long as the family background, education level, IQ and EQ of two people are similar, even if there is no love at first, it will gradually come into being later. As for the so-called "the harmony of the soul" and "the same language" that many people strongly pursue, the author also puts forward a seemingly incredible conclusion: we humans, especially women, don't care so much about spiritual and ideological communication. The initial decision whether two people can get together is mostly the attraction of appearance, that is, sexual attraction. Because of this, to build a good marriage, in fact, it is enough to have roughly the same personal conditions, a sincere attitude and a tolerant and patient heart.
but in fact, the right personal conditions, sincere attitude and tolerant heart can often make a marriage, but they may not make a happy and good marriage. For both men and women, sexual attraction is just the beginning of love. In the long years, if marriage is to last, it needs spiritual communication and understanding, and equal spiritual exchange and dialogue are needed. If the educational background, personality and temperament of the two sides are far apart, it will be more difficult to achieve this and the marriage will be unsustainable. In this way, the author's point of view here does not conform to the actual situation of marriage in modern society.
In modern people's ideas, the foundation of free marriage must be love, but in the author's view, love mostly comes from our imagination and feelings, which may have something to do with the loved one, but it has little to do with it. This phenomenon can actually be seen in many literary works. For example, the Austrian writer Zweig once expressed in his masterpiece A Letter from an Unknown Woman that I love you and have nothing to do with you. I love you, this is my own strong feeling, and it has nothing to do with whether you love me or not, and whether you are good enough. Scarlett, the heroine in the world famous book Gone with the Wind, always thought that she loved a handsome man, only to find out in the end that she only loved her imaginary man.
So the author draws the conclusion that the subjective factors needed for marriage, such as "suitability" and "liking", can actually be constructed in the long-term communication between the two parties. So marriage is not so difficult, and it is worth having. In fact, the author's point of view in modern times may not cause a buzz. After all, in the hearts of most of us, especially young people, love must be the prerequisite for building a marriage. Not only that, the material conditions needed to build a marriage are becoming more and more demanding. To get married in a big city, owning a car and a house has become the minimum threshold. Because of this, getting married today is not as easy as the author said.
However, it is worth noting that at present, there are more and more older single young people, and some opinions put forward by the author are indeed enlightening. For example, he pointed out sharply that sometimes we don't agree for love, but we don't meet people who meet our face value requirements; We blindly pursue the so-called * * * same language, but we don't want to spend time learning and growing with each other. Is marriage really as difficult as we thought? The ideas put forward in this book can be used for your reference.
Part II
Well, what I told you above is the first important content: Why do we need marriage? Because marriage makes the love between men and women last forever, and satisfies our sexual instinct and maternal instinct. Married, even if a family is established; Having a new baby will make this family more complete. This brings us to the second key point: what kind of existence does the family have for us?