In life, are we eager for success in everything we do? We hope that things will come true immediately as we wish, without going through too many difficulties and waiting time. However, the so-called life is unsatisfactory ten times. Eighty-nine, most of them are related to my eagerness for success. When I was reading the book "Cognitive Awakening" recently, the author's ideas gave me some answers.
Half of our anxiety comes from being eager for success but not getting what we want. For example, when people reach middle age, the two most worrying things, career wealth and children's education, have a sense of frustration that is counterproductive. . We want to have a successful career and honor our ancestors; we want to live in a big house and have face in front of our relatives and friends; we want our children to study well and go to prestigious schools so that we can worry less. But let me ask, is there anything that can be achieved so easily or so quickly? . What we lament is the hardships of thousands of miles in "Journey to the West", but throughout our lives, what we want to find is Sun Wukong's somersault cloud.
First of all, let’s explore a question: What is the psychological motivation behind eagerness for success? Why do we habitually seek quick results?
From the perspective of human nature, people have the natural tendency to seek refuge and seek ease. Driven by this human nature design mechanism, a person is born with the natural ability to circumvent and escape difficulties, because behind the difficulties It is frustration and pain. Few people take the initiative to seek discomfort. This is the nature of almost every living thing formed in the natural evolution process. Therefore, behind the hope of quick success is to avoid the pain caused by difficulties.
It is precisely driven by this kind of human nature that most people have the inertia of avoiding pain, so being eager for success can maximize their ability to avoid the test brought by the number and intensity of difficulties. The problem is that in the process of tens of millions of years of biological evolution, the more advanced organisms are, the more they like to actively seek discomfort, and the faster they evolve through difficult and painful experiences; and the more advanced organisms are, the more they like to actively seek out happiness, and the faster they evolve through difficult and painful experiences; and the more advanced organisms are, the more , the more afraid of the pain caused by difficulties, these creatures will either be at the bottom of the food chain, or simply disappear in the long river of biological evolution.
Now we know that the essence behind the eagerness for success is the desire to take refuge in the easy way and to avoid the pain caused by difficulties to the greatest extent. Therefore, a person's attitude towards difficulties directly determines a person's success. The mentality is to rush for success, or to face difficulties and wait for the flowers to bloom.
When a person chooses the thinking mode of eagerness for success, he will often face two results, either he will not get what he wants, negative emotions will breed, he will be constantly troubled by anxiety, and then blame others, The next time you face something difficult, you will habitually choose to avoid it. Either you try to take shortcuts to achieve your goals. After you achieve them, your thinking will become accustomed to this shortcut mode. When facing difficulties, the first thing that comes to mind is not how to solve the difficulties and exercise your abilities, but how to rely on the strong. , find the shortest road to Rome. Taking this kind of shortcut too often is not a good thing for oneself. People tend to lose themselves in the desire for quick realization. It seems that they can reach Rome the fastest, but in the future they may have to take a longer detour to reach the ideal holy place in their hearts.
Let’s take a look at what those people who are willing to face difficulties and choose to walk on thorny terrain think about. They believe that the pain caused by difficulties, although uncomfortable, can inspire their own enlightenment in life. It is the best opportunity to exercise and improve their abilities. They will choose to actively embrace these sufferings, reflect on, experience, and be reborn in the pain. The more difficult and difficult this road is, the more things they can learn from it. , the faster your abilities grow. Although it is difficult at the beginning, the further you go, the smoother your life becomes.
When we stand at the crossroads of life, whether we choose to rush for success and take a shortcut, or face the difficulties and take a bumpy road, is the fork in whether a person's future life will be mediocre or outstanding. .
When Zeng Guofan returned to his hometown of Dingyou, he received an imperial edict from the imperial court asking officials in the capital to organize civilian regiment training to assist in the fight against the Taiping Army. However, most officials set up offices in the government to do so. To show off, he was afraid of avoiding the near-death thing like running a regiment, training, and leading troops to fight. In Hunan, Zeng Guofan was the only one who really regarded this imperial edict as a career for the rest of his life. For this, he offended many local officials. Some friends were puzzled and came to advise Zeng Guofan not to be so persistent. Zeng Guofan brought up Lin Zexu's death in Humen. To encourage himself and others, Zeng Guofan chose a thorny road in the eyes of others. The war on the front line was tense, and the Hunan Army had almost become the only mobile force that could be counted on for civilian regiment training. Under the repeated urging of Emperor Xianfeng and local officials, Zeng Guofan did not rush for success, but paid close attention to military training and ideological and political education until half a year Later, when the time was right, he sent out troops in one fell swoop and made the Hunan Army famous.
The reason why Zeng Guofan did not choose to protect himself wisely in times of crisis, but boldly stepped into the situation and did not care about the short-term gain or loss of the final result, is mainly based on the Confucian philosophy of "cultivating oneself, harmonizing the family, and governing the country" for many years. , Peaceful World" has an impact on oneself. His choice is not whether the road in front of him is easy or difficult, but whether it is based on personal ideals and values.