Author＼Where to go for steamed buns

When I was single, I often heard my friends discuss the difference between life before marriage and life after marriage

When I was pregnant, I often talked about the differences between major moms On the forum, I saw friends discussing how difficult it was to get through pregnancy smoothly. After becoming mothers, friends most often discussed how difficult it was to raise children. (Actually, giving birth is not difficult, parenting is really a big question!)

Now, I have been a mother for more than 3 years. Although the road to parenting is full of challenges, it is also difficult. Will pass! (This is the invincible spirit of super mothers) But putting the focus back on yourself in a timely manner and taking the time to "find your original self" seems to be the most difficult thing.

In order to participate in an event a while ago, the organizer asked me to provide a recent solo photo as a self-introduction. This seemed like a simple task, but when I opened my phone to look for the solo photo, I was surprised. How long has it been since you took photos of yourself and organized your memories?

About 85% of the mobile phone memory are photos of the baby, and the remaining 15% are almost restaurant menus and food photos, and there are almost no photos of the husband and wife. Photos of people... I searched through the photo album for more than 30 minutes. Apart from photos of my son, I could only find one decent photo of mother and son. (I had to bite the bullet and ask the organizer, is this OK?)

Recommended reading: Because of our children, we have become ever-changing mothers

After becoming a mother, we may change our appearance due to the You lose some charm on your face, or you always carry a mother bag stuffed with diapers when you go out, and you are always in a state of disheveled hair and chasing children. Unconsciously, you lose some of your past self-confidence, but this is a warning sign that "you can't find a single photo" , isn’t it also reminding us: Mom, do you still remember yourself?

I read a famous saying on the Internet: After becoming a mother, "one's name" is like flying a kite, gradually drifting in the wind! As someone who worked hard in the workplace in the past, I would think that this description is too exaggerated! How could a person's name disappear forever? ! (Chinese names, English names, nicknames and professional titles are all symbols of our status!)

But now, I think of myself as a full-time mother with a slash, but in the hearts of others, I may only be a full-time mother. Remember "You are Mantouzi's mother." I don’t know if there was a time when self-introduction started to feel a little awkward and strange? When meeting friends in a new environment, they often casually say "Hello, I'm OO's mommy."

When others start to call you OO Mom, although this title seems old (haha), you can’t blame others, because we are the ones who started to take the lead in forgetting ourselves... It is important to accompany our children, but our children are not us. The only focus in life.

When introducing ourselves, we often unconsciously put our children in front of us. "The name is missing" may be a small matter, but when we "make ourselves invisible", the situation becomes serious!

After becoming a mother, you should not be limited. If you have a goal, work hard

The role of mother is really busy, and she will be tripped up by a bunch of trivial and inexplicable things every day, but Whenever I look at the wonderful lives of other slash mommies, I feel that I am actually quite leisurely in comparison.

When a person is used to: "I am a mother, I am very busy!", "I really want to try OOO, but I'm afraid I don't have time!" When everything has not started yet , you are used to complaining and denying yourself first. With this attitude, I believe that the "Time God" will be too lazy to care about you. (Mysterious voice: Who is the master of time!)

For the role of mother, it may not be easy to get back 100% of the original self, but it is not impossible to go back! First find the "goal you want to achieve", use the limited time to slowly learn and make progress, and accumulate small achievements and mini-successful experiences from many small things in life. When you develop the attitude of "do what you say", you will gradually be able to Regain the confidence you had before!

If you are afraid that the power of self-encouragement is not enough, you can also participate in some positive activities or high-quality online clubs. Mom friends are very good at complimenting people! (Although it is common sense that mothers are also very good at nagging haha.

After all, mothers are either praising or training their children every day! )

Recommended reading: Survey: What are you most reluctant to give up after becoming a mother?

Through affirmation again and again and cheering each other on, as long as you persevere, you will find that there is a way to "find yourself"!