”The so-called emotional intelligence refers to the ability of an individual to monitor his own or other people’s emotions and emotions, and to identify and use this information to guide his own thoughts and behaviors. If IQ is more affected by genetic factors, Then the genetic component of emotional intelligence (emotional intelligence) will be much less. In other words, emotional intelligence is mainly cultivated. To guide and cultivate students, teachers should first pay attention to their own psychology. Improve quality, strengthen self-cultivation, cultivate good psychological qualities such as optimism, confidence, enterprising and tolerance, and provide students with examples of learning. In general, how to cultivate students' emotional intelligence in the following aspects? Start with: 1. Correctly identify your own emotions. Emotions are physical states related to changes in various parts of the body. They occur in specific situations. As a basic psychological process, emotions have an important impact on people's lives. Work has a very important impact. Appropriate emotional experience is one of the means for people to communicate and communicate with the environment. The identification, regulation and control of self-emotions can help people better adapt to the requirements of the environment, which is beneficial to physical and mental health. . Emotions, as a subjective experience and personality trait, will directly affect a person's activity direction, behavioral choices and personality formation, and have an important impact on individual survival and life, whether in the dormitory or in the hospital. In the restaurant, we should encourage students to express their emotions correctly, consciously guide students to feel, and let students get used to expressing their emotional experiences in language, words, etc. 2. Effectively relieve their negative emotions. Relieving negative emotions is not simple. Instead, we focus on self-education, self-coaching, self-evaluation and self-regulation. (1) Provide opportunities and ways to vent negative emotions. Our school is a full-time boarding school. Relaxed. In such an atmosphere, children's emotions are easy to express. As a life teacher, you should pay more attention to the changes in children's expressions and mentality, and create a variety of situations to provide students with opportunities to vent their bad emotions. Ten minutes of happiness every day, talk space, and psychological mailboxes on the floor encourage students to release their dissatisfaction and painful emotions in a timely manner. The natural release of emotions and the expression of emotions can give students space to realize their self-worth, thereby achieving a certain level of self-worth. It plays a positive educational role. (2) Emotional self-regulation. Since human emotions are adaptive functions evolved from race, they are often the most active in responding to environmental events and human activities. It plays an important role in controlling and influencing. Therefore, it is very important to be good at regulating emotions and maintaining a good and positive emotional state. The main methods to help students regulate their emotions in living environment are: 1. Be good at releasing tension and depression with pleasure. The three-dimensional theory of emotion believes that emotions can be measured in three dimensions: pleasant-unpleasant, excited-calm, tense-relaxed. Each specific emotion is at a different position between the two poles of these three dimensions: happiness. It belongs to the relaxed section of the emotional tension dimension. It can play an important role in regulating tension when people are overly nervous in study and life, so that people can relax in tension. Happiness makes people feel close to the outside world, makes it easier to accept and approach the outside world, and is conducive to people's activities and the formation of harmonious interpersonal relationships. For example: ten minutes of happiness every day, weekly joke forums, and dormitory culture construction (posting pictures, pictures, famous quotes, etc. in the dormitory) can give people different psychological feelings and help students overcome emotions such as tension, worry, suspicion, and depression. depression. 2. Correctly carry out self-awareness and self-regulation. Everyone is an independent individual, and the level of achievement and ability should not be overly compared. People should correctly recognize, understand and face their own qualities and talents, regulate themselves on this basis, and put forward the most appropriate goals and requirements for themselves, so that people can form self-confidence in self-satisfaction, thereby avoiding internal conflicts and pursuits. Emotional distress and emotional abnormalities caused by goal failure. For example: For children who suffer from test anxiety and lack self-confidence, we should help them set practical goals. 3. Use rational emotive therapy to relieve negative emotions. People often think that the cause of good or bad emotions is the event itself, which is a wrong view. The reason why people have various emotions does not lie in the event itself. It depends on the person's view of the event. Judging from the objects we manage, most of them are only children, and their family conditions are relatively good. Therefore, many children have a particularly strong sense of self-centeredness and cannot control their emotions as long as something goes wrong. Therefore, we should consciously conduct psychological counseling on a regular basis. For example: group counseling in dormitories or classes, anger management training, jealousy management training, the use of rational emotional regulation methods, etc. We can also use a table to ask students to write down recent events that have made them angry, sad, nervous, frustrated or inferior. The following is a table format: Events Thoughts Emotions Behavior Results Example: My classmates called me nicknames and I felt disrespected Ignore classmates when angry ① ② Guide students to think: Do these incidents cause me trouble? How about analyzing your emotions and trying to think differently? (Teach students how to proactively and forcefully refute their own irrational concepts) Repeatedly emphasize: Change your mind and happiness will come naturally. Help students establish reasonable new beliefs and induce appropriate emotions.

3. Encourage self-motivation with good emotions. From the perspective of self-motivation, students' emotional cultivation focuses on guiding students to view the world around them with tolerance, acceptance, joy and positivity. Students in middle school are in an important period of growth and development, and their self-awareness and self-esteem requirements are particularly strong during the transition from inheritance to inheritance. If students' behavior is not recognized and accepted by parents, teachers and classmates, and is not satisfied with self-maintenance and self-esteem, they will often attract people's attention in abnormal or even abnormal ways. Especially those girls who have no independent opinions and care too much about the impression they leave on others need new self-affirmation. They will consciously regard their original shortcomings as strengths. Students in a similar psychological state always feel that they are failures, or that they do not have good personal qualities and cannot perform valuable actions. For such students, teachers must exchange psychological positions, communicate at multiple levels and through multiple channels, replace critical behaviors with expected behaviors, adopt positive incentives and establish a sense of honor, place steering wheels and wheels for their transformation, and put affirmative trust in them. information is sent to them. Let them internalize and understand excellent qualities without denying their own subjectivity, guide them to learn to understand themselves correctly, respect themselves, motivate themselves, make a little progress every day, be the best version of themselves, and look at the surrounding people with a positive and healthy attitude world. 4. Cultivate a sense of cooperation and improve the ability to get along with others. The most important thing for people to adapt to the objective environment is the adaptation to interpersonal relationships. Professor Ding Zan, a famous psychologist in my country, pointed out: "The most important thing for human psychological adaptation is the adaptation to interpersonal relationships. Therefore, human psychological pathology is mainly caused by the imbalance of interpersonal relationships. Come". Several years of life management practice have shown that psychological problems caused by interpersonal imbalances are relatively common among students. According to the particularity of life management and based on dormitory culture, various forms of themed activities can help students improve their interpersonal skills. The ability to get along with people. For example: Design a psychodrama based on conflicts that often occur among students, and allow students to role-play so that they can stand in the perspective of others and understand their emotions. Life skills competitions, civilized dormitory evaluations, and daily five-minute self-reflection are all good methods. To untie the bell, one must tie the bell. In the final analysis, students' emotional adjustment needs to be completed by the students themselves. “It is better to teach a fish to fish than to teach a fish.” Therefore, we must teach students how to cultivate their emotional intelligence in learning and life, so that they can learn to learn and live in a stable emotional state. Life teachers are also the undertakers and implementers of school education and management. In the face of educational reform and development, it is very important to provide students with mental health education and the cultivation of emotional intelligence. Only by adhering to a student-oriented approach, facing everyone, treating students individually, and caring about students' growth can we promote the improvement of students' psychological quality as a whole.