The world is like a giant claw machine,

I just want you through the glass.

Half of the second season of "Ode to Joy" has been aired since its launch. Although the ratings and enthusiasm are not as good as the previous one, it still caused arousal due to the good looks of the protagonist and the previous foreshadowing. There was a wave of drama watching.

Whenever I walk on the street or sit in the office, I always hear people around me discussing

——Boys all like people like Qu Xiaoxiao, right?

Ying Qin is too scumbag,

What will happen to Guan Guan and Xie Tong in the end?

I still like Tan Zongming...

However, many people are still concerned about how Guan Guan became dark?

If you change your appearance, will someone like you?

How do I stay with my sweetheart and how do I make others recognize that I like me?

Today we will talk about other ways to get recognized by more people, make more friends, and become the state you want in addition to changes in appearance.

In the first stage, we must know who we are, what we want to be, and how we want others to see us.

In terms of gaining recognition, many people think that as long as they are too good-looking, they will be loved by everyone, and then they will look very disdainful when facing people of the same sex who have high emotional intelligence and connotation.

The former is a natural beauty, while the latter is cultivated through hard work. One is out of reach, and the other is too lazy to persist.

As time goes by, it can only become like a lifetime of envying others but living in fantasy.

We don’t have to choose plastic surgery, or we don’t have to be so self-disciplined, but we must know what we want to look like.

For example, Yan Ni

Some people will definitely say that she has undergone plastic surgery, or because of the photographer. But what is unquestionable is that Yan Ni has found her own style and knows what she wants to be.

If there are problems with this example, let’s look at the next one.

I have always thought that Karen Mok is not too beautiful, but she can be considered very elegant

Of course, from my perspective as a straight man, I may not be able to see the issue of makeup and injections. , nor do I want to tell you how to cultivate your personal temperament.

What I want to say is that you must know what you want to be and what is best for you.

Celebrities are somewhat different from us ordinary people, so we must learn to build personal brands.

"Building a personal IP?" Let’s read this article first! 》 As I said in this article, personal branding is not as powerful as the market boasts, but it is not as unattainable as we imagine.

For example, if your friend’s friend knows that you are a very reliable person, this is your personal brand.

Establish a label that others identify with, and then gradually stick to this label, so that others will loyally believe that you are synonymous with that label.

Because personal branding allows others to continuously recognize and know you, this is the best way for more people to like us.

In addition, you must know that there is a huge difference between the self in your heart, the self in your imagination, and the self in others' minds.

Therefore, on this basis, when we build others’ understanding of ourselves, we must not rely on ourselves, but rather refer to other people’s suggestions.

This point is very simple, I believe each of us is very clear,

A dream lover who has not contacted you for eight hundred years and says good morning and good night to you every day Which one will you choose, the one who gives you meals and flowers?

Actually, this is a routine, because many people don’t like routines, but they have to know the routines, so I call him a link. Hateful thoughts.

The ways we create connections with strangers, including fast connections and slow connections.

Quick link: quickly express our interest in someone, then exchange contact information and wait for later development.

Slow link: Look for opportunities to meet and talk multiple times, gradually wait for the best "opportunity", and either take the initiative or the other party proposes to increase the link.

Whether it is a fast or slow link method, you need to make a choice based on the other party and your own personality.

If you have an extroverted personality, we can take the initiative without worrying about the risk of rejection, and I believe that most of the other parties will give you what you ask for because of the situation or face.

If you are introverted, you will naturally choose the latter or seek help from friends.

In addition to these, you should also pay attention to what kind of personality the other person has in order to make the best choice.

The focus of fast links lies in later cultivation, while the focus of slow links lies in early stages of preparation.

In fact, many people are too focused on the so-called mentality that the easier it is to get and the easier it is to lose, they are unwilling to do it. We rush to establish a connection with the other party, but due to the driving psychology of a fast-paced society, asking for a phone number is an embarrassing situation where most people look normal, but a few people look shocked, which ultimately makes it difficult for us to take a small step.

When we get to know each other briefly, we will decide based on our previous thoughts whether to continue to develop a relationship, whether it is just a simple acquaintance, or whether we want to become a closer partner.

So when two people are chatting, the one who wants to enhance the relationship needs to express the same opinions, hobbies, personality, experiences, etc. as the other party.

Sociologically speaking, humans are social animals and will unconsciously approach and trust people who are similar to themselves.

So you must know the other person’s personality, what areas they focus on, and what they like...

In order to gain further recognition from the other person.

This is a routine, for example: when you don’t know what the other person likes, you can start from vague fields such as horoscopes, hot news, games, sports and singing.

Because there are some "points" that everyone pays attention to, I call it the fuzzy field.

Almost everyone loves hobbies like reading, exercising, and singing.

After finding the *** similarities, what needs to be more important to note is that I understand you, not just because we have the same "three views", but because on this basis, I also know your "little thoughts" . ”

——Everyone hopes that others will recognize and understand themselves.

Therefore, when expressing that we understand each other, we need to be more observant and cautious,

For example, try to ask the other party some scenarios and worries,

Then analyze the other party's inner thoughts based on these questions.

Common thoughts: Insecure, unable to speak, too concerned about what others think of me, too emotional, difficult to choose, feeling lonely...

This place is special Interestingly, the principle is the same as above: you need to know what the other party is paying attention to.

For example, if a person quarrels with his girlfriend, when he coaxes his girlfriend, he will find that because he said a certain sentence wrong, the other party will bite a new topic and won't stop.

This is the trigger point, because the messy thinking stimulates the other party's new focus.

Just like when writing an article, the golden sentences or wonderful paragraphs in it will definitely make readers associate with it.

This association is because readers agree with this point of view or feel that the article is talking about themselves.

That is, interests expressed based on one's own experience and values.

Back to the topic, while looking for similarities, we must also find trigger points.

What can trigger the other person’s emotions, what can trigger the other person’s trust in us, and what can trigger the other person to make a life-and-death commitment to us (ahem).

In a deeper sense, this trigger point must be a very, very important place. It can be good and move the other party, or it can be bad and make the other party collapse.

In short, if you want the other party to recognize you and become the most important person to you, you need to know what this point is, and then do things accordingly.

(I think it may be unethical to write too much in this place, so I will stop here, please forgive me)

The last one is the auxiliary method. This point is not only to let Instead of taking the initiative to contact the other person and inviting them out for dinner, you must learn to make requests and ask for the other person's help.

Let’s explain it directly with a famous saying and a theory.

To a large extent we do not like others because they are good to us, but because we are good to them - Leo Tolstoy

Cognitive dissonance explanation Because: If we help someone we don’t like, we may end up liking him. When we help someone we don’t like, we are actually experiencing a disorder. There is a conflict between our behavior and our attitude toward the person. A conflict occurred.

To alleviate this dissonance, we try our best to convince ourselves that this person is good and worthy of help, thereby paying attention to and emphasizing his good qualities and downplaying the fact that we do not like him in the first place.

Positioning: Know what you want to be, and then make changes.

Exposure: Frequent occurrence will shorten the distance between each other.

Link: Don’t think too much, just take action when it’s time to take action.

Similarities, trigger points: the two combinations find a unified topic and the things that matter most to the outside world.

Active: assist, asking for help from the other party will make him like you more.

Any of the above methods can be used in any combination or alone.

Finally, please remember

Cultivate feelings to bring each other closer when nothing happens,

Seize the opportunity to let intimacy explode when something happens.