Listen more.
No girl likes a man who talks about himself too much from beginning to end. In women's eyes, this self-centered person is actually a sign of self-distrust and even insecurity. These people make themselves feel good by constantly hinting that they are good. Nowadays, in the era of Internet information explosion, no woman is stupid. They really can't stand these seemingly childish behaviors.
The most important purpose of listening is to collect information. By listening, we need to know what the other person is, what the other person needs, what the other person likes, what the other person cares about, what the other person hates, what the other person thinks about things and her values. It is said that the most suitable situation for two people is that the three views are consistent. So these are all the information we need to collect in listening. How to do it? It depends on our ability to ask questions.
We often see that the host can grasp the direction and rhythm of the whole program, which is actually the ability to ask questions. A good host must be a successful questioner. He knows what questions can be asked under what circumstances and how to ask them. Some questions are sharp, but under appropriate circumstances, the questioner will not feel uncomfortable, and can also set off the climax of the audience.
In the process of communication and listening, you can suddenly get serious and ask, what do you think is the end of your life? Or the other person is talking about happy or unhappy things at work, and you suddenly get serious and ask, what do you think is the biggest challenge at work?
Second, use questions to continue the topic.
Asking questions is a kind of knowledge, which requires constant contact and time. On the one hand, asking questions is to get to know each other, on the other hand, it is to continue the next topic, using the direction of asking questions to continue the topic.
For example, if you simply praise each other's hairstyle, it will be more appropriate and beautiful. You can ask her where her hair is done, and she will definitely say "XXX Street", and then you can start to say what's interesting and delicious in that street, what's delicious there, and there are similar shops there, but they are better than there. These are all topics that can be continued. One topic can bring out many new topics and emerge one after another.
In fact, the content of our chat is not the key. The key is whether your chat atmosphere or chat environment is comfortable, whether you can make the other person open up, whether you can make the other person feel happy and stress-free when chatting with you, which seems to be a very simple matter. You met a dog on your way to work. It followed you all the way and then disappeared. It wasn't interesting at first, but if we create an environment by telling stories, I don't know if I can meet that dog again tomorrow, and I don't know if I will have a chance to own my own dog in the future. We need to use stories to inspire each other's thoughts, why this dog will follow you all the way, what kind of dog it is and whether it is cute or not. If you can express your unique opinions in time and let the other party feel unprecedented throbbing, this is another good plus item.
The ability to chat can't be completed and mastered in a day or two. Knowing more jokes makes humor different. After reading a lot of books, you will be able to write your own books, which is different. We should constantly collect the chat topics in life and chat with different people, so that you can constantly cultivate your sensitivity to things and topics in the chat again and again, and express your unique opinions at an appropriate time. Only in this way can you collect and master the questions yourself.
Text/deer emotion xiaolu337