Living your life in the way you like involves not only courage and ability, but also an idea, which is self-cognition. Do you know what you love? What do you want your future life to be like? Do you think you can do it?
What is self-knowledge? Generally speaking, it's what you think of yourself in your head. Man is the most complex animal in the world, and he is dynamic in this changeable society, so it can't be done in a day or two. But if we have the consciousness and desire to know ourselves, I believe we can get closer and closer to our original self through some methods.
I think there are two main aspects to knowing myself: the first is what I was like as a person before I was influenced by social environment such as family and school.
There is a scene at the beginning of Bollywood, which illustrates a human physiological science with a particularly vivid picture: your birth is accompanied by a huge and cruel competition with 300 million sperm, and only the strongest one who runs at the front can get the only egg. Our birth is the result of beating 300 million sperm. We are all champions and winners.
Do you know that?/You know what? Our original self is omnipotent and has unlimited potential. We have no sense of insecurity, we don't need to be recognized, we don't need to be controlled, we don't need to be evaluated and praised by others, and we don't need to control others. We are too rich. However, when we came to this world, everything seemed different. We become distrustful, insecure and unhappy, which requires us to reconcile with ourselves and the past. The next method section will say.
The second aspect is that everyone, that is, "you", as an independent individual, has any talents, qualities and what do you really like?
Yohji yamamoto once said, "You can't see this thing. You won't understand until you hit something else and bounce back. " As social animals, people need to know and develop themselves in the relationship between people, and gradually understand what they want, what advantages they have and what they are suitable for.
So what can be done to improve self-awareness?
I am divided into two parts: inward exploration and outward exploration. Let's look at the inner exploration first:
When something makes us feel emotional, we should first ask ourselves, which little point in this matter triggered my mood, and which sentence from the other side made me feel emotional? What are our feelings at the moment, fear, sadness, feeling neglected and so on. Why do I feel this way? In what past experiences have we had the same feelings?
For example, a girl keeps calling as long as her boyfriend doesn't answer the phone. She is very angry. She feels neglected and the other person doesn't love her. At this time, we can think about what happened before, who ignored you at that time, making you feel neglected and abandoned.
When we find the thing that happened in the past, that is, the stuck point, we need to go back to the thing that happened in the past, recall the scene at that time without any judgment, and go there again to see if we have overlooked any details. For example, in the above example, the girl recalled that she especially wanted her mother to hug her. Her mother said that she was busy, let herself play and neglected herself. She cried sadly, feeling very uncomfortable and feeling that she was not liked by her mother.
Then we must go back to the past to make this memory clear and see if it is based on our current cognitive ability. It turned out that my mother was preparing dinner for the whole family, and it was already dinner time. My mother was very hard and didn't have time to hug me. It's not that my mother didn't love me.
Emotion is not the most important thing, but the thoughts and ideas behind emotions are worth thinking about. Childhood experiences have a great influence on our adulthood. Connect what is happening now with what we experienced when we were young, and see what the present feeling is related to in the past.
Here, we can also keep a diary to record what happened around us, what we feel and our own views on this matter, so as to improve our consciousness.
02. The interpretation of dreams
Some wishes in life cannot be realized, and dreams are a good way to realize them, even if they are illusory. Those who are suppressed in life and oppose what they want to do, we satisfy ourselves in our dreams. Therefore, by interpreting dreams, we can help us understand our subconscious. Let us see the feelings and needs that are ignored by ourselves.
There was a time when I often dreamed that I was with my classmates in high school and junior high school, and that I was talking and laughing with my family. I will think about why, feel my heart and connect with my recent experience and state. Only then did I know that there was a problem at work during that time, and I was stressed and anxious. Some interpersonal relationships also make me feel very tired. Sometimes I want to go home to accompany my parents, eat and chat with my brothers and sisters, and I miss those simple and beautiful times at school.
So let's look at the outward exploration:
03. Improve your knowledge
There is a story: two farmers are working in the field. One said that if I could be emperor, I would have steamed bread to eat every day. Another said, if I were the emperor, I would use gold to do the dung fork work. It's wonderful to think about it.
After reading this story, you will feel that these two people are really stupid. But many of us are like this. Because your parents are farmers, and you think the best thing for you in this life is to be a farmer, you will never find that you are good at business. You never know what you love and who you are suitable to marry until you meet. I have never been to the palace, nor have I heard of it. How can we know how the emperor lived?
Reading, traveling, attending classes, entering different circles and communicating with different people, there is always one thing for you.
Don't limit yourself, just do it.
For example, a man used to work in a factory, but he wanted to be an interior designer. His brain told him again: you can't do it. You are just an assembly line worker with a high school education. How can I become an interior designer? If he listens to the voice of his brain at this time, that is, his thoughts at that time, he will be depressed, underestimate himself, and think but not act.
His thoughts at that time had bad feelings, which in turn constrained his actions. As a result, he can only be an assembly line worker forever, and he dreams of being a designer when he goes home at night.
Yuan Yue, chairman of Zero Point, once said: "There is a theory in sociology called' I am in the mirror', which means do you know who you are? You need to look in the mirror and see if I am like this in other things. It is not enough for society to know myself. You need to walk into the scene of that society and experience it. "
Write at the end:
If you want to know yourself, you must explore inward and outward. How can we know ourselves well enough? There is no standard. But one thing is certain. When you feel happier and richer, you know more about yourself and live your own life.
I am Yuan Qiqi, a small blogger who specializes in answering emotional and personal growth questions. If you have any questions about your feelings and personal growth, you can trust me privately, and I will be happy to help you straighten them out. Due to limited time, it is limited to the top 3 every day.