There are also some people who are really introverted and confident. Of course, this is caused by the family environment and social environment. Then they fall into a vicious circle and become more insecure and introverted, as if the world has nothing to do with them. But when I really go to play with them and listen to them, I find that they are also eager for someone to understand and play, but they just don't know how to integrate into this group.
When I can treat them sincerely and understand them, they all become my good friends and talk to me about everything. They just need people who really understand them and are willing to listen without discriminating against them. In this process, if we can give them some affirmation and encouragement, they can all become excellent.
So my advice to you is to find someone to help you, someone who is willing to listen and affirm you, and someone who is willing to open his heart. In fact, you have a lot to say and express, but you haven't expressed it for a long time and don't know how to express it, so you are ashamed to express it. Otherwise, long-term depression will really make you sick.
According to the simple self-report of the landlord, it is a manifestation of mild depression. My suggestion is to find a psychologist in a regular hospital and take some medicine, preferably Chinese medicine. Secondly and most importantly, create a happy family atmosphere. His wife's mother was sickly since childhood, and his father-in-law was a veteran. He loved collective labor, could not be a housekeeper, and had many children, so his life was extremely difficult. My wife has been bullied since she was a child, and has developed a self-pity, withdrawn, lazy and homebody character. At the beginning of my marriage, I was a front-line cadre. I didn't know she suffered from mild depression. In line with the strict management attitude of her relatives, I am particularly strict with her work and skills, and I want her to do everything best. A slight negligence will be severely punished and severely criticized in public. Later, I found out that she never communicated with anyone, closed the door and sighed. Concentrate on technical competition and shake all over; She was nervous when someone talked to her. She didn't speak, her hands were shaking. At that time, there was no psychological hospital here. I looked up information, read relevant books and gave her vegetable guidance. First, transfer from the job with strict technical requirements to relieve her pressure. Take care of her every day and be considerate of her. Going home to tell funny stories or topics, I gradually changed from a serious-looking person to a funny-talking person. Every day when I speak, I make her laugh. Today, she is not only cheerful and optimistic, but also likes to communicate with people. She can also be said to be the pillar of the family and is more helpful.
A person with an increasingly withdrawn personality. He suffered a certain blow in his life. He no longer trusts anyone. Seldom talk to others. This is a kind of depression. Or schizophrenia. He is an introvert. There are many problems to consider. The previous one was not active either. Now people have some problems with their diet. Usually it's white flour rice. The nutritional value is extremely low, and now the diet of dishes. Ordinary oil is too big. Sleep upside down. This is the biggest mistake. First, improve the quality of sleep. He must go to bed at nine o'clock in the evening. Get up at five o'clock. Activity is cooking! Practice how much to see if the sun appears, and take her for a walk for half an hour and an hour. In the morning, wheat and barley are made into porridge for him to drink. Wheat has four medicinal functions: nourishing heart and kidney, promoting blood circulation and strengthening spleen. Wheat handed him comprehensive food. What about comprehensive food? Ha, it's an antidepressant. Yeah, it's relaxing. Stress, tension and fatigue are all at work. Barley has two low and three characteristics. High protein, dietary fiber and vitamins. Low in fat and sugar. So they got enough nutrition for his body after matching nutrition. Where is the food? Give him more beans. I have to put some millet porridge on him at night, anything will do. Because millet porridge can also nourish blood and brain. Millet is extremely rich in carbohydrates. It can relieve mental stress, stress and fatigue. Let him listen to some happy songs. Jokes. Come up every day to relieve the mood. Find someone who trusts him the most, the person he trusts the most. Talk to him. After one to three months of aftercare, it has changed obviously.
Inferiority is a child's improper understanding of himself and a negative psychology of looking down on himself. Under the influence of inferiority complex, when children encounter difficulties and setbacks, they often have emotional reactions such as anxiety, discouragement, disappointment and depression, thus hindering their healthy growth.
Adolescence is an important period for children to learn their lessons and master knowledge. If children feel inferior at this stage, it is very unfavorable for their healthy growth. Therefore, parents should cultivate their children's self-confidence and help them overcome their inferiority complex.
There are two reasons why children feel inferior:
First, because the goal was set too high, the company suffered setbacks;
Second, there are disadvantages in some aspects compared with others, which leads to poor self-suggestion, and so on.
Inferiority is a character defect, which comes from a negative self-suggestion in psychology, and is manifested in the low evaluation of one's own ability and quality. People with inferiority complex are often timid, timid, lonely, silent, do not like communication, lack confidants, have poor activity ability, are not enterprising, think more about themselves, are not enthusiastic about people, often avoid group activities and lack self-confidence. It is difficult for people with a strong sense of inferiority to make achievements.
If your personality and mood have affected your life and work, it is recommended to go to a regular medical institution. If it is really depression, don't panic. Conventional treatment will do. Give everyone a popular science about the symptoms of depression.
Depression is mainly manifested in depression, slow thinking, lack of interest, loss of energy and low self-evaluation, which leads to irritability and has a great negative impact on their mental health. Severe depression, which controls the patient's brain, leads the patient to a dead end and affects the quality of life of his family. Detailed symptoms need to be understood.
1. Persistent depression:
I am upset, irritable, sensitive, suspicious and stubborn when I meet happy events. I have no confidence in myself and my life. I always feel unhappy, hate participating in group activities and like being alone. Some patients have a slight sense of worthlessness and think that they have not made much contribution to society. Sometimes it is manifested as fatigue, inattention, memory loss, difficulty in thinking, and a significant decrease in spontaneous speech. In short, they always feel "too tired to live"
2, excessive pursuit of perfection
You can also see clues from your personality characteristics. Most people who are prone to depression have the personality characteristics of pursuing perfection and do everything with all their might. Even though the energy has almost bottomed out, they keep pushing themselves. When they suddenly woke up, they found themselves in a state of depression. People with high incidence of depression always strive for perfection too hard, so they often lack energy and fall into the predicament of doing nothing.
3. Losing interest is one of the common symptoms of patients with depression;
Lost the enthusiasm and fun of life and work in the past, and lost interest in anything. I don't feel happy with my family, I don't care about my past hobbies, I often live alone, alienate my relatives and friends, and avoid socializing.
Energy loss, fatigue, washing, dressing and other small things in life are all difficult and difficult. Patients often use "nervous breakdown" and "frustrated ball" to describe their illness.
4. Think slowly:
The mental manifestations of depression can also be reflected in slow speech, low pronunciation, few words and slow response, and there is great resistance to every sentence and every move. How to diagnose and classify depression? A few patients with severe depression can be silent and stay in bed, which is called depressive stupor. Patients with agitation depression have significantly increased speech actions, anxiety and fear, excitement and self-injury, which is very dangerous.
5. Sleep problems:
Many patients with depression suffer from insomnia, which is often manifested as difficulty in falling asleep, shallow and dreamy sleep, easy to wake up and early awakening (waking up at 2-3 am and then falling asleep). Early awakening is often one of the characteristic symptoms of patients with depression. Other depressed patients may sleep too much, or need to doze off frequently in addition to normal night sleep.
6. Loss of appetite and weight loss:
Most patients have symptoms of loss of appetite and poor appetite, delicious food is no longer attractive, patients do not think about tea and rice or tasteless food, often accompanied by weight loss.
7. Daily variation:
The patient's mood changes day and night. Fall into depression in the morning or morning, get better in the afternoon or evening, and have a short conversation and eat. The incidence of diurnal variation is about 50%.
These are the seven symptoms of depression that I gave you. Paying attention to developing good living habits and maintaining an optimistic attitude towards life can effectively prevent the harm of depression. Once you suffer from depression, you should treat it as soon as possible. The earlier the treatment, the lower the recurrence rate. Regular outpatient review and antidepressant maintenance treatment are the most serious and effective methods to prevent recurrence. Usually eat more fruits and vegetables and avoid spicy food.
The landlord and I are quite similar. I used to have a bad personality, a big temper and an inferiority complex. Unwilling to take the initiative to take care of people who are unhappy for a long time, or even unwilling to save face. Then I suddenly started looking for my own reasons, because I had come out to work and my family environment was already like that. You can't change, and you can't change the people around you, so you can only change yourself, change yourself slowly and get better and better.
Loneliness and emptiness are often linked, and are also largely related to childhood family education and family environment.
So how to eliminate loneliness? You should first pay attention to the following points. First, you should improve your personality and spend an hour jogging when you are free. People who are self-enclosed tend to do nothing. At this time, you need to join the group, participate in more activities, practice communicating with others, strive to overcome inferiority complex, increase psychological transparency, take the initiative to put people first with an open mind, absorb the strengths of others, enjoy and experience the affection and joy of interpersonal communication, so as to improve your ability and correctly evaluate yourself and others.
I have been reading a book recently, and I can recommend it to you. It's still good. This book is called Don't Let Sensitivity Hurt You. There is a lot of truth in the book and it is easy to understand. Read it several times, go deeper, get a new understanding every time, and then practice it. I believe you can get over it slowly. Don't expect to change it at first. As long as you make progress, I believe it is the result of your efforts. Let's go!
Know yourself, know yourself, try to be yourself, and don't lose yourself. Take a good look at yourself in the mirror at the moment of getting up early every day, have confidence in yourself and dress up well.
Don't pay attention to the comments of friends and colleagues around you, and don't be harmed by outside rumors. If the group alienates itself, we should try our best to embrace the group and not break away from it. Only by learning to communicate in group life can we grow ourselves well, exercise ourselves and make ourselves more confident and energetic.
Some friends may alienate themselves because of their own defects, such as obesity and disability. Classmates, friends and colleagues often talk privately, which makes the originally injured heart more lonely and sad. Because I am too fat, I am troubled, and I have been unable to lose weight, which leads to inferiority. Actually, obesity is nothing at all. As long as you are physically and mentally healthy, you should pay more attention to exercise and read more books.
I feel much better because I made a fool of myself once in my class or colleagues. I always regret my behavior at that time afterwards, and many people will laugh at myself. At this time, you should communicate with friends and colleagues more, open your heart, let yourself face it easily and forget your previous unhappiness.
Some little girls often feel inferior because of their imperfect bodies, and their body hair comes from their parents. We should be grateful for having a healthy body, and should not chase those immature behavior thoughts. If we cannot change it, we can maintain it. Proper maintenance the day after tomorrow can also moisturize our skin, and we will be confident to come back.
Full of energy and enthusiasm, a beautiful mind trumps everything else, constantly improve your personal charm, make more efforts in words and manners, and be prepared to face setbacks. Don't blindly blame yourself and deny yourself. Experiencing setbacks will make you more depressed and more positive, so as to strive to overcome yourself.
People often confuse psychological reaction with psychological problems. We often think that depression and pessimism for a period of time is a mental illness, which is a wrong view. People's psychological state, from hyperactivity to depression, has a certain psychological cycle and will not remain depressed or excited all the time. So don't be unwilling to communicate with people just because you are in a bad mood in a short time, which is unnecessary!
The subject is now in a period of depression, and it is estimated that he has encountered problems in his life, or is in a relatively dull and boring situation, unwilling to communicate with others and losing confidence. This is a normal psychological reaction! Not a mental illness!
In fact, there are many ways to get rid of the real dilemma and make yourself proactive:
1, enjoy peace and explore your heart. For the current emotional stability period, if you refuse to communicate more with others, you can use this time to precipitate your own experience from birth to the present, taste your inner joys and sorrows, and explore your inner things, so as to better understand yourself and plan your future life, so that you will not be lost and confused again.
2. Regulate physiology and boost anger. Arrange work and rest time reasonably and recuperate your body. It is reasonable to suggest going out for exercise. The theory of traditional Chinese medicine links the human body with the heart. When the human body is angry, the mood will naturally get better. When you are healthy or even strong, your mind will become sunny. I've never seen anyone who works out depressed. Move, run, soak your clothes with sweat and say to yourself, this is nothing!
3. Make progress in learning and set goals. Loneliness still has time. As the saying goes, being idle is also idle. Set yourself a learning goal, research, postgraduate entrance examination and grade examination, which will let you see your daily progress. And you can keep in touch with your peers when you study! Let go of your little emotions, improve your ability and open your own pattern, and you will find that the world is very different!
I wish the subject get rid of the predicament as soon as possible, get out of the haze and rush to a bright future of life.
So how to overcome these difficulties and become a cheerful and smiling person? Give the following solutions:
First, be an independent person.
If you are still a child, parents should not spoil the child too much when he is young, let him deal with his own troubles and teach him to stand on his own feet. The most intervention is to teach him rather than help him, so that he can form the habit of relying on himself, at least when he encounters a situation in the future, he can still handle it himself. Instead of being unsolvable, it will lead to more and more disappointment, and then inferiority, introversion and autism. As an adult, learn to stand on your own feet and rely on yourself, not others, and form the habit of relying on yourself.
Then, be an independent person.
Autistic people often lack independent opinions, always listen to others, and have not formed their own way of thinking. After a long time, they will not think for themselves. It will help you to ask others occasionally, but there is always a limit to patience. Until others don't want to help you, you will be at a loss, unable to solve, unable to ask, and gradually close yourself. So be an independent person and train yourself to make decisions. Don't be afraid to make the wrong decision. Who can not make mistakes? Be careful not to make the same mistake. See more, carry forward your own advantages, and let others have their own place, so as not to be useless. This helps to cultivate your independent thinking ability.
Be a brave man.
It can be observed that an autistic person looks timid on the surface, whether he is timid or not. Autistic people are always afraid of their hands and feet, and dare not amplify their actions to do what they want to do. Therefore, we need to be a bold person. The first step is to speak loudly, not oversized, but enlarged on your own basis. The second part, learn to fight for what you like or what you like, and learn to speak out. Third, learn to develop your own personality and be a distinctive person.
If you feel incompetent, you will be afraid of failure-because failure will strengthen this sense of incompetence, so you will use escape to alleviate it, because escape can avoid failure.
In order to avoid failure, we will choose to isolate ourselves and deny the value of what we do. Then there is loneliness, which will strengthen one's sense of powerlessness and self-doubt and further strengthen one's fear. This is an endless cycle!
Therefore, the personality will become more and more withdrawn, inferior and introverted.
The human brain is most sensitive to two kinds of signals and will give priority to them:
One is a threat signal and the other is a reward signal. Guiding these two signals immediately after discovery will form a self-reinforcing cycle. Namely forward circulation and reverse circulation.
Positive cycle is a sense of ability, acquisition and security;
Reverse circulation is fear, powerlessness and loneliness.
How to break the reverse cycle: You need experienced people to help you restore the original failure scene, find out the reasons for the failure bit by bit, and try your best to break the reverse cycle after knowing the reasons for the failure. Establish a positive cycle bit by bit.
I hope it helps you.