A fan came to me to talk and said that she had been married for 10 years. She did not ask for my advice, but just wanted to talk about her extramarital affair.

According to past practice, her experience is narrated in the first person to make it easier for everyone to read.

What does a cheating woman think? A self-reported confession of a cheating woman:

Two years ago, a message in a classmate group started my sinful path of no return. It’s too late to regret~

The person who sent the message is named Zhang. I don’t have much impression. I just remember that he is good at studies, his family has little money, and he doesn’t talk much. Anyway, he is the kind of person with a low sense of presence. .

He added me through the group chat, and his first sentence was: Old classmate, do you still remember me? ?

I didn’t take it to heart, but later he would like and comment on my circle of friends from time to time.

It happened that one day my husband and I had a big argument again, and I was in a very bad mood, so I wanted to post on WeChat to express my feelings, but I also felt that it was hard to talk about family matters to others, but that feeling was so special. Want to vent.

So I just wrote a few sentences and paired them with a picture of a crying doll.

He asked me in a private message: What’s wrong with you? What happened? Is there anything I can do to help you?

At that time, I was full of grievances and had nowhere to express my grievances. I also felt that he was an old classmate of mine who knew everything and was worthy of trust. Moreover, he and I are not in the same circle, and nothing he says will be spread. So I told him about my depression for many years.

I am pretty good-looking, but there have been some bad boys since junior high school who always blocked me and whistled at the school gate. I refused at first, but then one of the boys, my current husband, pursued me closely, and I later accepted him.

After I got together with my husband, I sometimes skipped classes and my academic performance was not good. In the end, I only got admitted to a junior college. Not long after I graduated, I got pregnant and had to marry my son. .

My husband dropped out of high school, and I am just a junior college student. The couple has no money, and they don’t know how to do anything. They also have to raise children, and they all rely on the support of both parents. For more than ten years after marriage, my husband went out early and came back late every day. He did not do his job properly and fooled around with his brothers, making little money.

I advised him to do something serious, our county is so big, such as opening a small store, but he refused to do it, saying that he couldn't afford to lose that person, and if he wanted to do it, he would have to do a big business.

Later, I asked my dad for 100,000 yuan and opened the store. For this store, I get up early and stay up late every day, busy and busy, and am so tired that I can't stand up straight. When I encounter a difficult customer, I still have to put a smile on my face.

Even so, my husband never helps me. Sometimes he brings acquaintances here and doesn’t want me to charge money to save his face. Later, every time we had a quarrel, what he kept saying was: If I hadn't helped you attract such customers, your shabby store would have been unable to open a long time ago.

Later, my store was doing well, and I opened three more stores one after another, which can be regarded as a chain company in the county. Finally, it was no problem to support me and my children, and I finally didn’t have to. Squatting in the store every day. This husband looked down upon the small business and refused to do it at first, but now it has become his bragging rights, and he thinks of himself as the boss outside.

After so many years of marriage, my husband has not taken a penny from the house, and it is all supported by me, a woman.

What was the trigger for that quarrel? Because I found out that my husband stole my money and went to prostitutes.

I told all this to my old classmate. Zhang was very surprised. After a while, he said: I didn't expect you to live such an unhappy life.

He chatted with me for a long time that day. He first comforted me, and then said that in fact, he joined the group just to know my current situation and how I was doing. He also said that he was very happy at the beginning. You like me, but you just don't dare to tell me.

He also said that I was his first love and his lifelong obsession?!

After ten years of marriage, I have stayed away from love words for too long. I have forgotten the taste of love, pampering, coquettishness, and even my own gender.

I actually felt my cheeks heat up, as excited as a girl pregnant with spring.

He also told me his own experience. After graduating from junior high school, he was admitted to a key high school in the county. Later, he was the only one in our class to be admitted to the 985 University. He later went to graduate school and after graduation I went to work for a company in our provincial capital. Although I have only worked there for less than 10 years, I am already the vice president of their company.

He is only in his early thirties!

I almost admire him. In fact, girls naturally have a good impression of boys with good grades. What's more, he keeps saying he likes me. After a period of time, he began to pursue me fiercely, saying sweet words every day, and even sent a large bouquet of roses to my store on my birthday.

That’s it, I cheated, no need to go into details, it’s pretty much the same as anything else. The first time I was with him, I was extremely happy and excited, like a little girl who had fallen in love again, but I was also uneasy and felt guilty about my family.

After our first relationship, I didn't dare to contact him on WeChat for three or four days, and he never contacted me. I even thought, have I been cheated? Or had a one-night stand?

As a result, four days later, he contacted me on WeChat. He said that he had thought about it for several days and would get along with me seriously and live up to my affection.

To be honest, his reply and his behavior of breaking off contact for four days after the first relationship made me think that he is very good and a good man who behaves cautiously.

Moreover, half of his friend circle is about his wife, praising his wife’s cooking skills and writing some interesting details about getting along with his wife. I think that a man who is so responsible and considerate to his wife must also be very responsible for his extramarital lover.

In this way, I slowly fell in love with him.

Although he works in the provincial capital and I work in the county, we just said that our county and the provincial capital are very close to each other, so it is very convenient for us to meet. I have been with him for 2 years and I am really happy and satisfied. I feel like a happy little woman, pampered and protected by him.

At the beginning, I really felt that he could catch all my negative emotions. Chatting with him was always very pleasant. He could make me feel very comfortable with just a few words.

I think he is the person who understands me best in the world.

Unfortunately, I later learned that there is a kind of man who, because he has dated too many women and knows them too well, can give every woman the feeling of a confidant.

Looking back now, behind his gentleness, he is actually very strong and selfish.

For example, when chatting on WeChat, he always comes to me. If I look for him, he never returns. After doing this for a long time, I developed a habit of coming to me only when it is convenient for him.

In addition to chatting on WeChat, dating time is also based on his time.

Basically we meet according to his time slot.

The habits he cultivated in me made me very passive during the two long years of cheating.

Sometimes even after waiting for a whole day, he would not reply to my message. At times like this, I would feel extremely irritable.

I made excuses for him in my mind. His wife is also quite powerful, and he is a little afraid of his wife. He is very busy, busy with work and family. He has to take care of his wife and children in the evening before he has time to chat with me. I have to send my child to a tutoring class on the weekend, so I have time to meet with me.

If a man really loves a woman, he can't help but want to spend money on her.

On the contrary, if a woman really falls in love with a man, she will not dare to ask him for money.

Our unclear relationship, as well as my love for him, made me and him not ask for gifts or money once in the two years we were together.

Every May 20, he would only send me a small red envelope.

But even so, I am still very satisfied and happy. As long as he stays with me and he is willing to chat with me, I will be happy. At that time, I looked down upon all the mistresses who asked men for money. I felt that they were putting themselves on the level of prostitutes and that they were not pure when it came to money.

I don’t care about money, and I don’t want to become a regular employee.

However, even though I was docile in every possible way, he gradually became cold towards me.

Not long ago, he told me that his wife seemed to be aware of him. She had secretly checked his mobile phone several times, and she was trying to trick him in her words. He told me not to contact him during this period.

I agreed obediently, but the wait lasted for more than a month, with my birthday sandwiched in between. I originally thought that even if we didn't contact him, he would send me a small red envelope on my birthday anyway, but there was nothing.

I thought he had forgotten. The day after his birthday, I couldn’t help but send him a message on my trumpet. Yesterday was my birthday. ?

As before, as long as I take the initiative to send WeChat messages, he never replies.

I suddenly felt so cold.

In the past year, I have given him all my sincerity, and I have never made any undue demands, whether it was money or status.

It’s not like I haven’t fantasized about him getting divorced and marrying me, but he has always emphasized to me that he will not divorce. I also know that he loves his son very much, and he will maintain his marriage for his son.

I have already settled for the next best thing, but I am still abandoned by him so ruthlessly, without even an explanation?

I was really angry. I sent a long message on WeChat and quarreled with him. He doesn't reply.

Finally, I called and casually told him that I had 20,000 yuan, otherwise I would tell his wife.

But the last sentence scared him, and he told me not to mess around. He said he was willing to give money, but he had no money and could only give 2,000 yuan.

I dug a hole and jumped in, feeling chilled. The two years of love between him and me was only worth 2,000 yuan.

But I still decided to ask for the money. I admit that I was a little angry at the time.

He drove to my store, dropped the 2,000 yuan envelope and left.

When I contacted him again, I found that he had blocked me and I couldn’t contact him no matter how hard I tried. Later, I bought a new card in the business hall and called him, and he answered the phone. He yelled at me and said, "Why did something that was supposed to be a mutual love turn into this?" He also said that I was snobbish and greedy for money. He completely misjudged me.

I was blinded by his scolding, and I felt that I really shouldn’t ask him for money. I said I was just testing you, and I didn’t really want money. I’ll give you the 2,000 yuan back. . He said, I don’t want it! Don't contact me again.

I cried, but he blocked me and I couldn’t refund the money to him, so I had to send the money to him by express delivery. I don't want a penny, I want to prove that my love for him is pure.

But he still ignored me and disappeared from my life! what do I do? A whisper at the end

Any relationship is about balance and level.

If the ranks are not equal, there will definitely be problems.

From your letter, it is obvious that your extramarital lover is an expert fish farmer with a very high rank. He is definitely more than just you as his lover outside of marriage. The principle he believes in is: cheating at zero cost.

This kind of man, in marriage, maintains the perfect persona of a good man, good husband, and good father, and his circle of friends is also extremely high-end.

But in the hearts of these people, there is a particularly complete set of Paoliang routines. He already knows how to seduce you, how to set you up, how to teach you all kinds of cheating habits, and how to leave a way out for yourself.

Men all have a complex of achieving success and returning home in fine clothes. The Zhang you mentioned should be the same. I believe he said he had a crush on you when he was in junior high school, which may be true. That's because his family is poor and he has low self-esteem, so he doesn't dare to express his feelings. Moreover, he has a more important thing: to change his destiny through learning.

Apparently, he did.

Who will you show off to after you succeed? Of course it's an old friend like you.

Moreover, as a man who feels good about himself, he wants to conquer more members of the opposite sex and constantly prove his charm.

The easier it is to get something, the less you will cherish it.

Classmate Zhang got you easily. Naturally, he won’t cherish this kind of zero-cost cheating. Because, with his charm, there are still many women waiting for him to conquer.

If you get tired of it, leave. This is the label of every scumbag.

My advice to you is:

You have a failed marriage because many emotions cannot be satisfied within the marriage, so you look forward to making up for it in an extramarital affair.

However, after the 2-year affair ended, you were left scarred. You find that extramarital affairs not only failed to solve the problems in your marriage, but actually made your life worse.

Therefore, at this time, you should understand that what you need to solve most is your marriage problem. Instead of using extramarital affairs to cover up marital conflicts.

Dear, you can carefully evaluate whether the existing marriage is still necessary to survive.

You are good-looking now and can support yourself, but your bastard husband will ruin your studies in the future. Will he ruin your life in the future? He has caused you to take many detours in the first 30 years, and now you have finally found your own career. He went whoring today. It’s not impossible to gamble the day after tomorrow and drag you into trouble again one day.

As for this classmate Zhang, just think of it as giving you a growing experience. At least you gained some short-term passion from these two years of cheating, right? Regardless of whether you prostituted him for free or he prostituted you for free, it is over and the story has ended.

If you think about it this way, you might feel better. I wish you can come out soon and embrace your new life.