1.between sb and NB, I watch you sigh ~

2. weigh yourself. I am very unhappy. I want to eat when I am unhappy.

I will give you a present tonight. If you don't light mosquito-repellent incense, I'll give out some red envelopes in the middle of the night.

There are thieves and cowards in middle school, but there are thieves and cowards in college. There are thieves now, but there are no thieves.

I envy you for knowing me so young ~

6. At night, I can't sleep for a long time ... I wonder if the girl next door is asleep?

7. Congratulations, I am about to bid farewell to my 24-year single life and usher in a brand-new 25-year single life.

I knew you were a monster as soon as I opened my eyes.

9. I don't really want to eat, but my mouth wants to exercise.

10. She has someone on her. ...

1 1. I said to the buddy sitting next to me ~ ~ You are only one step away from genius ~ ~

12. Don't fart before you go to college, but fart when you come to college!

13. Youth. Why can't you see that bird in a drop of BIU? ..

14.a； It's hard to swallow this evil spirit without revenge. B: Then how can I let you die?

15. My family lives in the Loess Plateau ~ oh oh ~, and your family lives in the ladies' room ~ ~ ~

16. People flow is painful, especially in the subway station in the morning.

/kloc-marry him at the age of 0/7.22 ~ ~

18. I can't rely on anything these days ... only myself can ... abbreviation: shit. ..

19. Why did the child run away at the door of the "Friends and Friends Snacks" store?

20. When I was a child, my mother said: The wolf is coming ~; At school, students say: the teacher is coming ~; After getting married, my colleague said: Your wife is here ~; Now, my lover says, I didn't come this month. ...

2 1. Get up in the morning and punch in; Have a meeting in the morning and take a nap; Eat at noon and burp; Go to work in the afternoon, hit ha; Work overtime at night and play cards; Go home late at night and fight.

The 22.6-year-old daughter was scolded by her mother for her mistake. She cried and said to herself: Why should women embarrass women?

23. When I saw the gray machine coming, I passed by and came again. Alas ... I hit a wall. ...

24. Can my smelly feet step on your broken bed? ..

25. I'm not afraid of you hitting me. I went to Beijing to find my boss, gave me a gun and shot you in the ass three times.

Every lie I tell you is true.

27. You forced me to add a verb between your mother and me!

28. In the past, my brother worked hard, and the policy was even harder than my brother; Now the policy is soft, but I am softer than the policy!

29. Life can be played properly, but dance academy can't.

30. Let the wheel of history roll forward, but the traffic on the Third Ring Road will not move!

3 1. I'm a fucking thief. I never swear. Do you fucking believe me? Fuck, believe it or not!

32. I wore a cotton-padded jacket, drank a mouthful of cold tap water, looked up at the starry sky and said with tears: It's spicy next door …

33. Love is like smelly socks. The longer it grows, the worse it stinks.

34. I want everything except shame. Eat everything, but lose nothing.

35. I read online reports about black coal mines. I can't help but sigh: how did this happen? I watched the news broadcast for 7 days in a row before I calmed down ~ ~

36. Who will play a straight answer with my beloved pipa again?

37. You are angry. If you are angry, cry, come out. . Hee hee hee hee

38. How long is a minute? It depends on whether you are squatting in the toilet or waiting outside.

39. Inexplicable backache, is the old woman pregnant?

40. My only shortcoming is that I have a lot of money, and now I don't even have my only shortcoming. Almost perfect ...

4 1. Dreams are shattered with the hymen.

42. Notes on leave: Dear teacher, I am in a bad mood, so I take a half-day leave, please approve. "

43. I really don't know whether the game is for people or for people.

44. As soon as she took off her cotton trousers, Miss Chun came lightly ~

45.w: I have it now. Did people say no! Man: You clearly said no, no, no-stop-ah!

46. Take an apple bigger than classmate B, but I didn't expect a bug as big as J*B in it …

47. Busy-busy your heart. Without your heart, you will die …

48. Do you prefer a man who smells like oil smoke or a man who smells like smoke?

49. Ten years ago, I dreamed of changing my life. Ten years later, life changed my dream.

50. You don't talk nonsense for a long time, but you still fart after talking for a long time.

5 1. that person, go back and sprinkle a bag of urine to rinse your mouth and come back!

52. A woman has been looking for a man all her life, and finally she finds herself the most man.

53. Crosstalk is a humanistic art, which pays attention to deception, deception and deception. ...

I thought I had grown taller overnight, but I found that the quilt cover was horizontal.

55. When you are sad, eat a candy and tell yourself that life is sweet!

56. If the water is weak for 3,000, just take a ladle and rinse your mouth!

57. It won't affect you? I'll cremate you,

58. Whenever I see a beautiful woman in the street, I always fantasize about the sudden strong wind. ...

59. An American called Bush a stupid pig in front of the White House, and was immediately arrested for revealing state secrets.

60. Life, life. I don't want to die if I have sex occasionally!

6 1. The girl proudly said to her roommate: Oh, hate, boys are sticking to me like flies. The roommate replied without looking up, probably because you look like shit!

62. I have seen a woman's signature, which is probably the shortest. Two words "itch, want!"

63. Disgusting mother cried in disgust. Why? Because it's disgusting

64. Give the mother a stomachache before the child is born, and give the mother a headache after the child is born.

65. Ugly girls are also girls! If you are a girl, you should be picked up. Why don't you hit on me?

66. One evening morning, a young old man. Riding a dark white horse, chasing a lovely enemy.

67. Grandpa's biggest trouble is that he has no trouble!

68. Toilet reminder, you can only pee here, absolutely not!

69. Upstairs and downstairs, I feel sad, my face is wet, and it tastes a little salty. Is it rain or tears? Look up at the sky ... * *, who is peeing upstairs!

70. I think he (she) likes when I have insomnia; It is love to miss him (her) so much that he (she) loses sleep.

7 1. People can't bring money into the coffin, but money may bring people into the coffin.

72. A newspaper published a photo of a couple with their dog. With a picture title-dog, male, female ~

73. The universe is unimaginable. The earth is just a dust in the universe. Why should I suffer for losing a dime?

74. When you want to lose something, please think about it and never lose face. -A tip on a garbage can in Chengdu.

75. Smoke without fire is uncomfortable. Is there a bird? B, sad. The accumulation of distress and sadness has made my hardworking hands!

76. Today's Jinshi is short-sighted!

77. When people do good deeds, they always want ghosts and gods to know. When they do bad things, they hope not to be noticed. We are too embarrassed for ghosts and gods.

78. The word fate is a contradictory individual. What is fate and division?

It's a long way to Xiu Yuan, so let's take a taxi!

80. The difference between a girlfriend and a female friend is only one word, and that is sex.

8 1. The little mouse told its mother that it was ill. So, mother mouse said, "well, I'll bring a pack of rat poison later."

82. After the exam, I hope you will give priority to surprise attack, supplemented by cheating. Take the circuitous strategy of the teacher entering and hiding, and the teacher returning and copying.

The 83.5-year-old daughter asked her father to do something for her. Dad: "Dad is very tired. Give me a compliment, and I will be refreshed again. " Daughter: "Lao Zheng!" Dad: "Hey!" Daughter: "Your Niu Niu is really beautiful ..."

84. I am 18 years old. I have known each other for two years, been in contact for four years, been in love for eight years, and just married a girl.

85. Selling a new cold drink: "The feeling of heartache" 20 yuan cup. Curious to buy a book, it really hurts: it's just a cup of boiled water!

86. He was sentenced to four years' imprisonment by the university for committing the college entrance examination, and now he is released home. Oh, my God! I lost my job again.

87. Actually, I am a lady ~ ~ ~

88. One day, money will be printed with Lao Tzu's smiling face ~

Oh! It's snowing. I really want to turn into a snowflake and fly to your arms. I flew into your collar. Fly into your cuffs. Fly into your ... why don't you zip it up?

90. If you are not afraid of the underworld, you are afraid of the underworld.

9 1. In the gentle waves of the Hekang River, a buffalo is taking a bath.

92. I want everything except shame. Eat everything, but lose nothing.

There are always so many things that make you sad in the world: rain or shine, joys and sorrows, impotence and premature ejaculation. ...

94. The buds of late autumn wither with the wind in the endless void, falling one by one, like fragments of dreams, so silvery and so delicate and light-in memory of my dandruff ~ ~

95. A woman without talent is a virtue. It seems that you are a virtuous woman and I am a wicked woman ~

96. You are beautiful when I love you; When I hate you, you are a zombie!

97. I've been so busy recently that I can't even get 16 hours of sleep. I'm depressed!

98. Cooking is difficult, but being a man is even more difficult! Making love is the easiest!

99. My wife wants me to change coal. I said, you'd better change the coal, and I'll go to the unlucky (coal)

100. If you catch the thief, you can get the loss back; Catch up with your girlfriend, and your loss has just begun.

*** 100, whatever you choose, one point?