1. The world today is really too chaotic. If you don’t accept it, just do it. It’s nothing more than begging for food.
2. Give me a fulcrum and I can pry your heart.
3. You can never afford my feelings, they are not cheap.
5. I am not weird. Mine is a limited edition.
6. Please make it clear, it’s not that no one wants me, let alone you!
7. If I could shake hands with freedom, I would rather lose everything.
8. You will always be my only one, I don’t want anyone else.
9. A confident woman is not arrogant, but confident, and only by believing can she be happy.
10. Those who do not have the courage to start are actually over.
11. Since you can’t go back to the past, don’t go back and reorganize our idol dramas.
12. If you like it, have it. Don’t be afraid of the consequences.
13. No matter how cheap my love is, you don’t deserve it anymore.
14. I would rather create my own sadness than copy other people’s happiness.
15. It is better to be in love than to be in love, and never fall in love because of loneliness.
16. Conquering you with tears will make me look down on myself.
17. I would rather walk alone than have a woman feel sad.
18. If you win, I will accompany you to rule the world; if you lose, I will accompany you to make a comeback.
19. Whether it is a human or a dog, whether it is an enemy or a friend, you will see for yourself over time.
20. I would rather have the cruel reality destroy my ignorant ideals than the beauty that can only exist in a dream.
21. In my world, it is not your turn to dictate.
22. Whoever dares to touch him a foot, I will give him a foot in return.
23. Whoever competes with the other should be more direct. If I am wrong, I will kneel down.
24. I am lonely, but I don’t need you to help me.
25. Why bother to prove anything to unworthy people? Live a better life for yourself.
26. Please don’t be mean to save love!
27. It doesn’t matter if you say it quietly, it’s better to say it gracefully and gracefully
28. The value of life is equal, and there is no distinction between high and low.
29. As long as we have self-confidence, everything is possible.
30. I have no time to participate in your past, but I will accompany you to the end.
31. A woman can still live a wonderful life without a man.
32. There is no question of forgetting or not, only whether or not.
33. If he loves you, there is no need to please him. If he doesn't love it, there's no need.
34. Life is unsatisfactory and earth-shattering.
35. When I see someone who is showing off, he always lowers his head silently. It’s not because he has good qualities, but because he is looking for bricks.
36. A life of bullshit, a tough bullshit
37. Don’t use my sincerity as a bargaining chip
38. I will still keep that feeling, Just to give my youth a regretless account when my years are gone.
39. If you regard me as light as a feather, don’t expect that you will still be the mountain in my heart.
40. No one can take away what belongs to me!
41. Cherish what you have, and don’t look back if you give up.
42. I have my own style, which you cannot imitate.
43. Love is not a natural disaster, happiness is your own.
44. On my stage, you are no longer the protagonist.
45. I am not glass or crystal, and I will not be easily seen through.
46. When you don’t like me, you can choose to commit suicide or go blind!
47. I want to be so strong that nothing can destroy my inner peace!
48. Friends, I only care about quality, not quantity. What matters is my heart!
49. Instead of praying for a dull life, it is better to pray for a stronger life.
50. It is better to be proud and lonely than humble love. A complete collection of dirty and heavy-tasting funny personality quotes
1. According to the IQ of a pig, I am a handsome guy, are you that pig?
2. Buddha said: Sea of ??Suffering There is no limit, turn back and you will reach the shore.
I said: There is no edge, where is the shore?
3. The purpose of going to school is to find a partner. This school is just a marriage agency
4. I came to work this morning. Just as they were whispering, the boss came, and the colleague immediately called him to stop, "Nima, this is a friend"
5. Tuhao also means a bold and unrestrained country bumpkin
6. I will follow If you mess around, I will fall into the ditch, so now I quit
7. There is always a feeling that the money in the bank card cannot be withdrawn, and it will be gone as soon as it is withdrawn
8. For those who don’t like me, I just want to say one thing, you should wear sunglasses
9. Looking up at the sky at 45°, all I see are white clouds
10. There are two types of women, one is an angel and the other is a devil
11. I don’t intend to be different, but how can I have outstanding taste
12. In this winter, for The only thing I will never leave is the cold
13. In fact, I am not vulgar, it’s just that it’s not very obvious
14. If you can’t bear it, just bear it again
< p> 15. Every woman who loves to sleep has a lover called quilt16. Before she could even get into sex, she was plucked out
17. Kill Survive the wolf, let go the tiger, once I was a 250
18. If I were the second B, then you would be the second best among the second B
19. Having a mouth makes me What you are talking about is not for you to use as a decoration, so don’t pretend to be mute
20. I have my own things to do, so I don’t need you to point fingers from the side
21. Don’t talk about feelings with your sister. She has no feelings. She just gave up to a scumbag a few days ago
22. There is only one consequence for betraying a friend, and that is to stop being a human being
23. It doesn’t hurt, just because I never cared.
24. I’m so sorry to let you know my existence, you SB
25. The days without you, I am very happy, just because you are the source of my sadness
26. Don’t be sentimental about animals, because they don’t know how you hurt them
27. Now that you are here Come here, there is no reason not to remember it
28. Don’t think that because you are tall, your sister must look up to you
29. Who should take care of the dog around you? Let him bite people everywhere
30. I didn’t see the road clearly, but I never gave up and kept walking
31. Breaking up is nothing, I can still continue to love You
32. I am a genius who went to Tsinghua University, but the teacher is ignorant
33. When I am a tooth in your mouth in the next life, you will feel my pain as well
p>
34. I am not perfect, but I am unique and irreplaceable
35. Life is like making a phone call, either you hang up first or I hang up first
< p> 36. Sister, your charming facial features are the beginning of your crime37. Instead of crying, it is better to force a smile, at least to be more decent
38. Thank you to the night, no matter today How sad, tomorrow is a new beginning
39. I don’t need your comfort, because at that time a weak person could listen
40. Love can help you gain the world, Hate can make you lose everything
41. Face life with a cynical attitude
42. The person in this world who can really hurt you is often the one you love most People
43. I have not participated in your past, but you will definitely have me in your future
44. Maybe we don’t need each other, but there are a little more of us in life. Loneliness
45. Look up at your future and you will always feel the warmth, because there will always be the sun above your head
46. This is me, I treat others everything Don’t care about yourself, worry about your own affairs
47. Don’t see through me, otherwise you will lose me when you come back, and you will also lose the color it should have
48 , Life has a long way to go, you are just the scenery I pass by
49. Others’ help is not deserved, so if you accept it, you must repay it
50. You say you love me. If you have the ability, take action. Don’t just talk without practicing and say it in a cheap way
Say it in a cheap way
1. The queen felt unwell, her face turned pale, she had unbearable abdominal pain and was sweating.
After diagnosis, the imperial physician concluded that the queen had an ectopic pregnancy and must undergo surgery immediately! The emperor said: The queen accompanies Lian every day and never leaves the palace. How could it be an ectopic pregnancy? Someone come! Pull out this nonsense quack and behead him!
2. I went shopping with my sister and her daughter at the mall, and the little guy was sitting on the shopping cart! While my sister was looking at the products, I pushed the shopping cart and left! Who would have expected that this little guy would actually shout for help! The looks from others are unfair to me.
3. I went to Daming Temple to burn incense. When I made a wish, I silently thought of my loved ones and asked Bodhisattva to bless them. When I got home, I realized that I had forgotten to ask Bodhisattva to bless my wife. . . Then I thought about it, my wife is so strong, she probably doesn’t need the blessing of a Bodhisattva. . . .
4. My wife used to be very cruel to me, so I asked her to learn Sanda and Judo. What now? I'm much better now. You bowed to me before you hit me!
5. I went for a walk in the park with my buddy. While we were walking, a little kid ran out from the flower stand next to me, and then hit my buddy in the face with a water gun. After the beating, he ran away quickly, and then My brother chased him wildly and wanted to beat him, but I said: Forget it, the kid is ignorant, why should I be like him? It's not a big deal. Who knew that my brother was even more excited and said to me: It’s fucking urine! It's urine
6. I saw a beautiful woman in the library, so I walked up to chat with her: Hello, classmate, please introduce yourself. I am from the computer department. How about you? She looked at me and smiled sweetly: I have nothing to do with you. Damn, what a witty girl.
7. My girlfriend’s best friend is a complete witch. She often asks me about things that happened in bed with my girlfriend. When I got annoyed, I said she was here to see my aunt, and this girl suddenly said, I will take you to my house. Play, and I guarantee you will be floating when you go downstairs! I just wanted to ask if I can go?
8. In the morning, the couple went out to the street. Wife: My dear, the cold wind is howling, where is the coldest place for you? Husband: Face Wife: But why doesn’t my face feel cold? Husband: You can try it without makeup tomorrow morning
9. Ms. Lin came to the electrical appliance store and asked: Do you sell car remote controls for cars, mahjong remote controls for mahjong, and fan remote controls for fans? Husband’s remote control? Salesperson: The remote control is an accessory and is not sold separately. It is provided by the manufacturer of the machine. Ms. Lin: Where can I buy it? Salesperson: Of course, go to your husband’s manufacturer or your mother-in-law’s house to buy it!
10. Watching the Romance of the Three Kingdoms with my wife, I said casually: What do you think I can do in the Three Kingdoms? The wife said leisurely: Tied to the straw boat, borrow arrows! I. . . .
11. In class, the absent-minded Luca was called on by the teacher to ask questions. The teacher said: Why don’t you answer, Luca, is my question difficult? Luca said: Oh, no, I completely understand the question, but the answer is difficult for me.
12. There is really no way to teach today’s children. Today I told my son: You only have one life, so cherish it. The son actually replied: Don’t you know how to cherish only when you lose it?
13. My roommate was drying the quilt, and the static electricity on the quilt shocked him. He didn’t expect this guy to say: You dare to shock me, believe it or not, I will sleep with you at night. .
14. My sister-in-law took her money-mad niece to the clinic for injections. The doctor prescribed 3 bottles of intravenous drip, and the niece started to take the injections. After finishing two bottles, my niece started to fuss and said nothing. The sister-in-law had an idea and said to her niece: If you buy two bottles, you will get one free. The niece lowered her head and thought for a moment, then said: OK!
15. I asked a classmate who is a teacher: They say there is a teacher-student relationship, is there anyone chasing you? The teacher said: Whether there is someone to pursue you or not is a matter of level, but whether you accept it or not is a matter of character. As a teacher, your level cannot be low and your character cannot be bad.
16. When I was arguing with my girlfriend, I said angrily: There are thousands of women in the world, but I can change them every day if I have money! That stupid guy actually said: I can find any man in the world, but I can still do it even if I don’t have money. I'll go. .
17. Just a few days ago, I pursued a girl and bought her breakfast. I knew her dormitory number, so I sent it to the door of the dormitory. The girl refused to come out to get it, so I left it outside her dormitory door. After I left, she came out to get it and found it next door to her dormitory. Did I put it wrong?
18. During a blind date, the girl asked: What do you do for a living? Me: I am responsible for the comings and goings of company personnel. The girl never contacted me after that. Later I heard that she thought I was the doorman, but in fact I was HR.
19. I went to dinner with my friends and met a weird waiter. After ordering a dish of wood-fired chicken stewed with mushrooms, my friend asked: Are you serious wood-fired chicken? The waiter said: Chaiji is indeed Chaiji. I really don’t know if it’s serious or not.
20. The company drew the Water Margin character card in the lottery. Lao Wang shouted: I drew Xiao Li Guanghua Rong! Manager: Give me a pair of bows and arrows! Lao Li shouted: I drew Lu Zhishen! Manager: Give me a bunch of Buddhist beads! I shouted: I got Wu Dalang, manager, are you giving me a beautiful daughter-in-law? The manager smiled and said: Give me a cuckold!
21. The darkness ahead is filled with bicycles and tricycles. The car finally spotted a tractor in the crowd. He hurriedly stepped forward and patted his shoulder: Brother, I finally found someone I can talk to.
The tractor knocked off his hand and said: Come on! Who is your brother? I was the one who spoke before. Look at you, you can only breathe with your butt!
22. I feel that my mother has gone crazy. Due to physical reasons, my aunt is always not on time. When I had a boyfriend before, my mother would ask n times a day if she was late, are you here? ? ! Now I don’t have a boyfriend. It’s ten days late. I told my mother that I wanted to drink some Chinese medicine to heal myself. My mother actually told me that it’s okay. I don’t need to heal myself. I can also save sanitary napkins. It’s good to do it ten times a year< /p>
23. I went to a unit for an interview and went to the human resources department to see my ex-girlfriend sitting there. We looked at each other meaningfully. When we passed by the planning department, I went and my ex-girlfriend was there. Boss, why don't you just tell me if you don't want to recruit me? Why are you making all this trouble?
24. I worked in a taxi for the past two days. I had various conversations with the driver in the car until I lost my phone. The driver said that since the New Year, he has picked up seven mobile phones in one day and returned them to others. This is not the point. The point is that he dropped his phone when he got off the car. Call me on my mobile phone. It rang once and he hung up. If he tried again he would immediately shut down his phone. He was so tired!
Twenty-five. A painter wanted to paint a portrait of Wukong. Wukong took off his clothes and stood in front of the painter. The painter looked at Wukong and said: You'd better put on your clothes and I'll paint it for you! Wukong asked: Why? The artist said: There is no need to draw such monkey hair when wearing clothes, it will be faster!
26. Boss, the workers asking for wages are here again. What a hassle. If it weren't for the fact that today is the first day of the Lunar New Year, I wouldn't be able to move the broom. I really want to sweep them all out at once. However, the broom has been taken away by the cleaner and used as salary!
27. The farthest distance in the world is when I keep looking at you and you keep looking at me on the bus. I fall in love with you at first sight, but you hold your wallet tightly.
28. Xiao Ming came home from school and there was a guest at home. His mother introduced him to him: This is his cousin. cousin. This is my cousin. Cousin. This is my cousin. They are all expressions! Pa, I was slapped by my mother. Xiao Ming cried aggrievedly. That’s right, Xiao Ming said while crying.
29. My son yelled that his classmates’ parents were taking them to a haunted house, and he wanted to go too. I said, “No, you’re still young and it’s easy to scare you.” My son insisted on going to a haunted house as a family over the weekend. I thought the child would be scared, but he yelled loudly as soon as he came out. I thought the ghosts were so scary! cut! It’s not as scary as when my mother is angry! ! !
Thirty. The naughty kid downstairs has just gone to school and is very naughty. His grandparents told him to study hard, and he said: If I study hard, what should I do if I get admitted to Tsinghua University? I heard that the tuition fee is expensive, can we afford it? His grandfather said: Study hard and if you can afford it, don’t worry! Naughty kid: You’re lying. In the morning, I asked you for a dollar but you said we didn’t have any money!
31. A person interviewed college students. Half of the boys said they had never watched AV, and most of the girls also said they had not watched it. They also said that although they had not watched it, they knew that all boys had watched it. Yes, and boys like to watch it.
32. Wife: Husband, do you have arthrogryposis? Me: Why do you say that? Wife: Don’t you feel that your arms are getting shorter? When we first got together, you could still wrap your arms around my waist. I. . .
Thirty-three. Male: You are so beautiful, I don’t even know how to express my love for you? Woman: Use money. Man: Our love is pure, how can it be related to money! Woman: Then use diamonds.
34. Dad, why don’t you call me by my name? You call me little thing every day. Why? Son, things mean cute. Because you are still young and look very cute, everyone calls you little thing. Oh, I think Dad is cute too. I'll call you old guy from now on. . .
Thirty-five. Wife: Wear it! Husband: It feels better if you don’t wear it. Wife: It’s safer if you wear it. Husband: Trust my skills. Wife: If you don’t wear it, I won’t let you go. Husband: You look like a man if you don’t wear one. Wife: Are you annoyed? Will you die if you wear a helmet while riding a motorcycle?
Thirty-six. When a man came home from a business trip, he did not tell his family. When he arrived at the door of his house, he secretly Put your ear against the door and eavesdrop on the conversation inside. The son said: Mom, I miss my dad so much! Mom: Come on, let’s call Dad! The man was moved to tears outside, so he took out his cell phone and waited for half an hour, but the call never came. . . But the conversation was lively inside
37. The difference between my husband and me is that he watches country love and I watch Korean dramas! Each voice got louder than the last, and when I was about to pull out a tissue to wipe my tears, he was laughing loudly! The battle between ice and fire!
Thirty-eight, Aguang bought a kitten and loved it very much. But the kitten was very naughty, so Aguang taught it a lesson: Lambs know how to kneel to breastfeed, and crows know how to feed in return. I feed you delicious food every day, why don’t you know how to repay me? Unexpectedly, the next day, a half-eaten mouse appeared on Aguang's dining table.
Thirty-nine. I just went to the toilet, and a strange man came next door, squatting in the pit and talking on the phone. The content is as follows: "My dear, I am eating. I am eating now. It tastes pretty good. I will bring you to try it another day. Well, okay."
Goodbye baby! "
In the summer, the dog at home had a skin disease. My wife used Fuyanjie to wash it, and the effect was very good. One day, my wife went to buy Fuyanjie for the dog. The clerk came over and said, "After washing, If you use some topical ointment, you will get better faster. My wife thought about it and said seriously, if you can't apply the ointment, he will lick it! I mean, my dog ??can lick! Wife, have you really explained it clearly?
41. Watch two kindergarten children playing a ball game. Three cups, turn the cup over to cover the ball and let the other one guess. The other child can always guess it in every game. I am watching from the side and what I want to say is: Boy, smash it! This game cannot be played with a transparent cup!
42. Ask your husband: If you have money, will you buy me a plane to go to work? My husband said: Yes, I said: You are so rich. You want me to go to work? What should I do if someone makes me angry? My husband said: If you look at someone, hit them with a plane! The shining golden watch said: A good watch is a good one. It was more than 20 minutes late a few days ago, and it has been here for five days!
Forty-four, a pair of walls! The couple was having an argument, and the man who had been silent at first suddenly started talking: First, we are husband and wife! Second, we are highly educated, educated, and well-educated people! Third, the person who came out to go shopping today is You are the one who said you don’t want to go shopping! Why are you angry with me? Various adjustments.
2. Yesterday, the physiology teacher gave us a lecture. He said that as a man, you can't insert it everywhere like a USB flash drive, or you will get a virus.
3. You are trying to get your virginity.
4. Men want to lock the zippers of women’s wallets, and women want to lock the zippers of men’s pants.
5. Life is about it. Like masturbation, you have to rely on your own hands for everything.
6. People can’t have courage, but they can’t have athlete’s foot!
7. God is fair. Because he is unfair to everyone.
8. It is so difficult to please others, so it is better to please yourself.
9. There are two types of enemies who killed my whole family. The one who wakes me up from my sleep.
10. Don’t say good night to me over the phone. I want you to fuck me all night long.
11. I’ll go the day after tomorrow. Poop-themed restaurant, eat the signature toilet, No. 5 ice cream, and poop fries
12. Rain in the middle of the night, clouds in the middle of the night, and shouting in the middle of the night are even scarier.
13. No matter how powerful Tang Monk is. , is nothing more than a monkey trick.
14. Please don’t call sisters female hooligans in the future, we are film removal guards!
15. Women are easy to be satisfied, and they are also easy to make you stumble.
16. A fox is not a monster, and sexy is not a coquettish one.
17. Die to all the fresh-faced people! Heavy flavor is the way to go!
18. When I think of the long vacation and my deflated wallet, I always feel a touch of sadness.
19. A grain of salt, and losing your temper is the ocean.
20. You can break my heart, but you must never make me give up.
21. Before getting married, men find very few things suitable for them, but after getting married, they find many things suitable for them.
22. Extramarital affair is a story in literary and artistic works, but an accident in real life.
23. It is true that I am soft-hearted, but it does not mean that I have no temper.
24. Happiness comes and goes, as cheaply as the green onions given when buying groceries.
25. The kindness of parents in raising children is great, and the only way to repay the kindness is to get ahead.
26. Marriage is the tomb of love. If you don’t have a house, you can’t even enter the tomb!
27. I haven’t seen anyone who kills without repaying his life, so don’t tell me that you are too social.
28. Is it painful or beautiful when a moth flies into a flame? It’s courting death!
29. Not all men and women are equal, so why can’t I go to the women’s restroom?
30. The area of ????the large intestine is about square meters. Even the place where shit lives is bigger than my house. I finally know what it means to be worse than shit.
31. Please don’t call sisters female hooligans in the future. We are Taoist priests who remove membranes.
32. Foundation is used to cover skin flaws, and smile is used to cover up wounds in the soul.
33. If you have the guts, run naked and chase me for two kilometers. If I look back, I will be a gangster.
34. Good men make women understand the world, while bad men make women misunderstand the world.
35. I will give you the heaviest stool gift since I have had a stool. You will definitely eat a pound and eat more. If you feel that the stool volume is not enough, please relieve yourself!
36. You say you are my friend, but in fact I know that animals are indeed friends of humans.
37. Be a man of temperament and attract ladies of good taste.
38. The so-called successful woman is one who is awesome during the day and awesome at night.
39. When looking for a wife, look for a serious person, and when looking for a lover, look for a decent person.
40. The difference between humans and pigs is that pigs are always pigs, while humans are sometimes not humans!
41. As long as a woman lives among men, she will always be a hot commodity.
42. Don’t swear to me, I’m afraid you will be struck by lightning.
43. When you fall in love at first sight, it’s not the love, but the face.
44. When a mouse laughs at a cat, there must be a hole next to it.
45. You are not brave. Who is strong for you?
46. Young people are too frivolous, and nuns are also crazy.
47. How many beauties are looking for beauties, and how many beauties are cheating for money.
48. I say Shanxi produces carbon, but you say grass B sweats.
49. Please keep your mouth clean. Do you need to ask your aunt to rinse your mouth?
50. Falling in love with someone is as easy as shit, and forgetting someone is as difficult as eating shit.
51. If you were a flower, no cow would dare to poop in the future!
52. If you are not tired, think about the Red Army's twenty-five thousand. If you are tired, think about the woman who took the lead last night.
53. My girlfriend must be a road addict, that’s why she hasn’t found me yet.
54. Wearing a mink and a bag, hugging a little girl is very sexy.
55. Yesterday, I received a text message asking me to quickly transfer money to an account at the Agricultural Bank of China. I replied: Don’t worry, I’ll burn it for you right away!
56. Lie on your stomach and work on the loess, lie on your back and the sun will rise to the sky.
57. When the mother gave something to her son, the son smiled; when the son gave something to his mother, the mother cried.
58. I smoke because it hurts my lungs and not my heart!
59. Life is like an aunt, giving you some hard lessons from time to time, so that you can understand what life is.
60. I’m going to get a haircut, but I’m shaking my bangs so much that my neck feels crooked.
61. Some people say that men who treat women badly will make sanitary napkins in their next life.
62. It’s okay to call me rubbish, but only if you are better than me, otherwise you will not even be as good as rubbish.
63. When you are proud, your friends get to know you; when you are in trouble, you get to know your friends again.
64. There is no opportunity for rehearsal in life, every moment is broadcast live.
65. Behind every successful man, there is a woman who is full and has nothing to do.
66. I must appear in your household registration book. Even if I can’t be your wife, I can also be your baby mother.
67. A good lover makes you want to get married, but a bad lover makes you want to leave home.
68. I said you should be low-key. But you insist on giving me applause and screams.
69. The kindness of parents is greater than mountains, and the love of brothers is greater than oceans. Mountains are always higher than oceans, and family members always come first.
70. Youth is a beautiful but cruel game. If you were my enemy, I would have killed you long ago.
71. Love or not is right between the legs, it’s up to you.
72. Although the famous flower has its owner, I will loosen the soil.
73. It is better for a woman to live a wonderful life than to be beautiful!
74. When the whole world wants me to give up, I still look forward to someone whispering: Try again.
75. Women are China Merchants Bank, and men are China Construction Bank.
76. A soft-hearted man will beg for food, while a soft-hearted woman will steal from others.
77. Society does not sympathize with the weak because the strong have no emotions and tears.
78. Only when you have no money in your pocket can you clearly see your popularity.
79. Face the fucked up life with a bullshit attitude.
80. I am mute and I usually speak in disguise.
81. Don’t think that going to your space after breaking up with you means you are nostalgic. I even glanced at the toilet after I pooped!
82. The blood of a top student is hidden in my body. I order you in the name of a bad student to lift the seal.
83. Accompany me on the ordinary road, and you will have the brilliant road!
84. There are many good books in this world, but few books can change your destiny.
85. Don’t be homesick after leaving society. You can’t rely on your parents for everything.
86. If you want to survive in this society, your mouth must be able to speak.
87. People should not be judged by their appearance, and mistresses should not be judged.
88. In this life, we are either a role model for others or a reference for others.
89. To have you as my own is my greatest desire.
90. Deal less with dogs. When he licks you, he looks like a cute dog. When he bites you, he looks like a wolf with white eyes.
91. Such is the world of true and false, such is life.