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Living is to keep you from becoming an orphan.
"It's all people who have died several times, but they haven't died once. Maybe they are too ugly. Yan Luowang doesn't like me and refuses to accept me. Since you have survived, you must live well and live for four children. " This is what the elder sister said.

Everyone called her big sister, so did I. She said that she had no name since she was a child, and big sister was called by everyone.

Smile when you see people. When I laughed, I exposed two green leaves stuck between my teeth, as if I had never brushed them. She said it was a gray tooth left by a disease. Even so, it didn't change her habit of laughing. Laughter is her habitual expression, and the sky has not changed. However, even a person who loves to laugh so much can't change her fate of being rejected by her family.

The eldest sister is the fifth daughter in the family. When her parents gave birth to her, they thought that heaven would be merciful and gave birth to a poor son, but it was still a daughter who was expected to come. They are angry, angry and depressed. In their rural customs, it is a shame to have no son at home. They are crazy about their son, as if the elder sister is a stumbling block to his son's afterlife, and her arrival is a sin. The newborn big sister was left at the corner of the bed, and her parents ignored her.

People who know her well say they don't know how she grew up, and her family never cares about her. When she was a child, no one hugged her and left her on the ground to climb with the chickens and dogs. She gave birth naturally, and nobody cared when she was sick, and nobody knew when she was hungry. Her neighbors can't see her eyes and often feed her.

When I was eight or nine years old, a younger brother finally came to my family. The whole family was very happy and put all their thoughts on him. Her school age has also arrived. Seeing that all her peers have gone to school, she can only envy. I finally look forward to the opportunity to go to school. After only a week, I was forced to drop out of school and take care of my brother at home. In the eyes of her family, she is a slave and her brother is the darling of the family.

Bring up my brother and send him to school. She was thirteen years old. Thirteen is the age when many children are spoiled in their parents' arms. It is an age when a child is naive and full of good expectations. But her parents either scold her or beat her all day, saying that she eats and drinks for nothing at home and wants her to go out to work, so that she can earn a share of money and save money. She paid the fare with dozens of dollars from chopping wood. Ignorant, she took a piece of paper with the phone numbers of several relatives in her hand and asked someone to go to Foshan by car along the way. After getting off the bus, she was friendless and penniless. In the evening, she sleeps under the bridge, at the stall of the farmers' market, and eats the rotten fruit picked up in the garbage. After wandering for half a month, a small plastic flower workshop took her in.

Came to the flower factory and finally landed. A pair of small hands, working for more than ten hours a day. Once it is done, it will take three years. After three years away from home, her parents never made a phone call to care about her, and she never went back once. However, I often call my brother to urge him to pay his tuition. Once, for some unknown reason, my elder sister had a high fever, lying in bed and rolling in pain, and was taken to hospital by a worker. The doctor said it was an acute appendicitis attack and needed immediate surgery. Family members need to sign before the operation. The doctor called several times to ask her family to come to the hospital to sign the operation. I waited for a few days to make a phone call, but no one was there. Finally, the operation was not done, so the doctor had to give her an intravenous drip. A few bottles of intravenous drip, miraculously recovered, and then left, but it was a narrow escape.

Illiteracy, ignorance, abnormal diet. There is often a meal without a meal. Malnutrition leads to my poor physical development. My sister is as weak as a mouse, not as good as the average person. The flower season should generally be a carefree, innocent and lively era of learning hegemony. As a child's home, she is full of the smell of wandering in other places. Among them, the bitterness is salty and bitter, which falls on her weak body and bears it alone.

A few years later, it was the first time that the elder sister went back for the New Year after she left home. Because she accidentally broke an oil bottle, the family pointed at her and cursed. She was so angry that she picked up the pesticide under the table and poured it into her mouth. Soon, her stomach was so painful that she rolled on the ground and foamed at the mouth, and her parents were indifferent. Finally, the neighbor sent her to the hospital for gastric lavage, which saved her life.

At marriageable age of nineteen, her parents married her to a 40-year-old man in a neighboring village. When she got a gift, she never recognized anyone again. A girl of 19 years old married an old man who got married at the age of 40. Others didn't say that the old man took advantage of the girl, but on the other hand, she married him for money. In fact, her parents married her for money. She had no choice but to accept her fate.

That's it. She thinks that marriage is the beginning of a new life and good days will come.

Shortly after the marriage, the elder sister was pregnant with twins, and she was very happy. She risked her life to give birth to twins, and her family didn't come to see her and the child until the child was full moon. When her husband's family saw that she couldn't read, even the family looked down on her, and then they had an idea and bullied her. She is often yelled at and given no pocket money. Men often bring back irresponsible women and flirt in front of her, but she dares to be angry and dare not speak.

A few years later, she was pregnant with a second child, which turned out to be twins. She was surprised and happy, happy and sad. Children are happy, money is sad. Because men rarely give it to their families. This time, the doctor said that the twins would be very dangerous because of malnutrition. She insisted on keeping the child. God has eyes, and she survived with her two children again. When the child was born, the man who worked outside was too busy to come back to see her and the child. Later, someone told her that men are so heartless because they have other women outside. Her heart, fell into the abyss, cold to freezing point.

A thin shoulder has to carry four children and feed them. Every morning and evening, people who are familiar with her can see such a picture: the eldest sister goes to the field to grow peanuts, corn and vegetables in tandem, one in each hand. Besides, she also works part-time to help make up for her family. To this end, distant relatives asked her to work in the factory he opened to help her alleviate her difficulties, but she just didn't want to, because she felt illiterate and didn't want to affect her relatives' image, so she could only do odd jobs at home and take care of her children. The child's food, clothing, housing and transportation, inside and outside, is busy until one or two in the morning every day, and the elder sister never stops. I have to get up before dawn and I can only sleep for three or four hours a day.

Once, the child was seriously ill, and the doctor said that he should be hospitalized immediately. He called the man and asked him to bring the money back. The man didn't care too much when he came back. Instead, he teamed up with his father-in-law to make irresponsible remarks about his elder sister, saying that she spent too much money and was profligate, and also controlled her hard-earned money from odd jobs. A man not only ignores his family, but also controls her money, which is to bully her illiteracy and dislike her. He never bought a dress for his children, took care of them all day, turned a blind eye to them, and even rarely came back for the New Year holidays.

Once, because of the children, the husband and wife quarreled. Father-in-law and son teamed up to deal with her illiterate weak woman, abusing her and attacking her, saying that she was useless and nobody wanted her, even her family didn't want her. This time, she was completely sad and desperate. Think about her sufferings and sins over the years. No one has ever cared about himself, and no one has ever respected himself. She was abandoned by her family and bullied by her husband's family. Her heart ached, she picked up a kitchen knife and put it around her neck. Nevertheless, the cold-blooded man standing by did not dissuade him, let alone blame himself, but coldly said a few words: Go to hell! I sent four children to an orphanage after my death.

When the children heard their parents say this, they immediately ran to hug their mother's thigh and cried, "Grandma … you can't die, I don't want you to die … you don't want to die, we don't want to go to an orphanage, we don't want to go to an orphanage …"

Hearing the crying of the child, she threw down the knife, held four children, knelt down and said to the children, "Grandma won't die, and she won't let you go to the orphanage. Grandma will cut meat to buy blood to support you ... "