2. Find someone who can make you laugh. I'm not for you. I can only make you cry.
3. My girlfriend ate a kebab in one breath, and my boyfriend said a word, which word-your mouth is so coquettish.
When I was born, God asked me whether I should have a good memory or be handsome. I have forgotten how to answer at that time.
I had a dream about you. I am sad. You are eating shit. I tried to persuade you, but you didn't listen and hit me.
6, home is not a harbor for men after drifting! A woman's body is.
7. When I looked at you stupidly, did you look at me stupidly?
8. Do your best, score ten points and keep two points to avoid physical and mental fatigue.
9, grow into this bear, no money, no deposit, no house, no love, why force yourself and embarrass others.
10, although you wear cologne, I can still vaguely smell a scum.
1 1, I really want to slap you? In the wall, the button won't button.
12, there are two things in the world that can lie on the glass, one is the gecko and the other is the class teacher.
13, a senior accosted a junior in public and kissed her face. The schoolmate immediately got angry and shouted shamelessly. The senior was shocked and kissed her decisively.
14. In class, the teacher asked the students to make sentences with "sadness". Xiao Ming stood up and said, "There is a small river in front of my house. I am so sad!" " "Teacher: I am even sadder!
15, I feel bad enough after drinking dichlorvos. If you encounter another bottle, it will collapse even more.
16, now everyone calls themselves ugly, and when they explode, they become beautiful dogs; They all say that they are scum, but they abuse the exam into slag; Sighing about the poor sense of music all day, singing K becomes Mai Ba.
17, the multiple-choice questions in life are much more difficult than those in the test paper, and one of them can be guaranteed to be correct.
18 one day, the Chinese teacher asked us to write the word "handsome" silently, but the deskmate couldn't write it. He looked up and glanced at my face quietly, and actually wrote it down.
19. Walking in the street, I like to pretend to look at the goods in the shop window, but I'm actually looking in the mirror.
20. Journey to the West tells us that all monsters with backstage were taken away, and those without backstage were killed by a stick.
2 1, even if I am a piece of shit, I am also a piece of thinking shit!
22. There was a match. I didn't wash my hair for a few days, and my scalp itched. I grabbed it and burned it to death.
23. Behind every successful man, there is a woman who is full and has nothing to do.
24. The biggest failure of a man is not that no girl likes him, but that the girl who likes him feels that she was blind at the beginning.
25, miss life is not bitter, clothes do not need to be repaired; The life of a bachelor is so bitter that no one can make up for his rags; The husband's life is more bitter, and the wife can't make it up.
26. Today, someone said I was handsome, and I smiled. As a result, they said I was more handsome when I smiled. I shouted at the sky: me! Don't! Handsome! A flash of lightning fell from the sky, and God said, You are lying!
27, you also let me kneel on the washboard, kneeling electric heating really can't stand it!
28. The biggest crash during the exam was that I vaguely remembered that the teacher said this question, but I clearly remembered that I didn't listen.
29. Time tells me that the era of irrationality has passed and it's time to pretend.
30. I don't like to tidy my room. They all call me a messy room hero.
3 1, Grey Wolf is too poor to buy a new hat. It will always be a patched hat.
If possible, please allow me to destroy you on behalf of the moon, so that I can be myself.
33. I knew it was so difficult to find a boyfriend, so I decided to kiss the doll.
The National Day holiday is only seven days, which is simply not enough to express our love for our motherland.
35. None of the women who participated in the beauty pageant can find a good man, because all the good men are married, such as me.
36. My computer and I have the same language. When I am gentle with it, it will collapse. Makes me extremely excited.
Don't say that the wolf didn't eat mutton in 2007. Cats and mice have stopped eating mice since 2007.
38. Narcissism is to be a man in the next life and marry a wife like me!
39. Everything will be over, but if you invite me, I can stay with you for a while.
40, just want to have his love, let me just be your lover.
4 1, I won't do two things in my life: neither this nor that.
42. Every time the teacher says, please put something unrelated to the exam on the podium, I want to put myself on it.
43. Today, the history teacher asked me, "Who is Kangxi's son?" I blurted out "Andrew!" Then I was embarrassed.
44. I said: How can I thank you for your kindness? Let me marry you! He said, "How can I bite the hand that feeds me?
45. Pay all wages, including unplanned wages; All leftovers are contracted, including spoilage; Do all the housework, including mother-in-law's; Thoughts are reported every day, including a flash of thought.
Whenever I find the key to success. Someone changed the lock.
47, people, born in bed, died in bed, want to live to death, but also in bed.
48, you, don't talk, you lower the IQ of the whole street. You turn around. You influenced my thinking.
49. Is the daughter-in-law important or the game important? Daughter-in-law is of course important, so I only dare to play games and dare not hit my daughter-in-law.
50. When you look up at others on the ground, you can't blame them for standing up straight and looking down at you.
5 1. It's better not to use your own photo as an avatar, which is unlucky to go offline.
People say that making more friends with beautiful people will make you look better. No wonder you find that your friends are getting better and better.
53, so shameless and heartless, your weight should be very light, right?
54. Looking for you in the crowd is like scooping up all the grains of sand at the seaside, eager to find your trace. If not, I hope there is an afterlife.
55, tell the truth. I read the medical records. I can't even imagine a doctor.
56, how many years, my toilet seat has never been lifted!
57. From now on, we will walk together, and we will have delicate ideas together.
I don't wrestle with pigs for two reasons: one is to make me dirty, and the other is to make pigs happy.
59. After I die, please install a wireless router on my grave. Thank you.
60, wine luminous cup, want to raise a glass with friends. Looking up, you can't see the sky, you can't see the moon, and your head is long. Don't laugh when you are drunk in the wine field, but get drunk when you meet your bosom friend.
6 1, my boyfriend asked me to play League of Legends, and I went, and then I didn't have time to talk to him.
62, the new version of dichlorvos, delicious and tonic, open the lid and have another bottle! Holiday gifts are excellent.
63. Take an inch and take a step back. Bitches do that.
This exam was supposed to be a blockbuster, but when the papers were handed out, I decided to hide my strength.
65. Besides love, there are radishes in other people's fields.
66. The pain of life is that after experiencing a super storm, not only did you not see the rainbow, but you also caught a cold.
67, if smart to be punished, I don't want to pieces; If you can't get the soul, do you still care about intimacy?
68. I said I had a bad temper, was short and ugly, and certainly no boys liked me. I want to say-am I your own?
69. After staying in a tense crowd for a long time, I found myself normal.
70. I don't want to have a cat or a dog. I want to raise you. After all, raising pigs can make you rich.
7 1, look at a temple from a distance, and look at our alma mater, with more than 300 nuns and more than 10,000 old roads.
72. Women can't do everything, but without them, you can't do anything.
73. People meet love at the corner, and I meet ghosts at the corner; People are happy at the next stop, but I don't have a car to go to the next stop.
74. When summer comes, I realize that "stay where you are" is really not a curse, it is definitely the most sincere concern.
75. I hope I can hold your hand and walk with you one day. It's romantic.
76, a long drought meets * *, a drop; When you meet an old friend in a foreign country, you are a creditor; Wedding night, next door; When nominating for the Academy Awards, dreams-life are four kinds of sufferings!
77. I haven't held hands for a long time, and even a pickled chicken feet feels gentle.
78. If you are ugly, you should read more books. I finally got a doctorate in college.
79, shit from the pursuit of toilet or * * not to retain.
There are so many life guides all over the country, but I am in The Journey to the West.
8 1, if people don't be two useless teenagers, then your teenager really has no waste.
82. Chang 'e, you can leave the canopy. Look how old the Jade Emperor is!
83, learn to bully the sun, the goddess takes a selfie, the local tyrant has money, the model has a figure, and Laozi goes home for a holiday to bask in the sun!
84. Meet the right person at the right time and place. That may not be your lover, but your enemy.
85. The one that warms a girl is called a warm man, and the one that warms many girls is called a hot dog.
86. Happiness means having you for breakfast after good morning and having you for good night after dinner.
87. A classmate caught a puppy and happened to meet a math class. As a result, the dog fell asleep while listening to the teacher.