1. I still lament the small waist back then. Looking at today, I feel regretful and full of fat.

2. If a boy’s mobile phone wallpaper is you and all social passwords are told to you, then you just take his money and go.

3. When I was a child, I was always disobedient, playful, and disruptive, so my dad would hit me. I have forgotten how many times he slapped me, but I never admitted my mistakes. Later, when my dad got tired of beating me, he slapped me on the wall and asked me to hit it myself.

4. If a girl today was walking on the streets in ancient times and was taken back to bed by the emperor, and washed her face at night, would she be found guilty of deceiving the emperor or something like that?

5. If you don’t work hard, you will always feel that you are a potential stock. If you work hard, you will find that you are really not good enough.

6. After all, women are still emotional and have no immunity to various small animals, such as Bugatti Veyron, Hummer, Jaguar, Land Rover, BMW, etc., and of course, Tmall.

7. Foodies are all kind-hearted, because they only think about eating every day and have no time to scheme against others.

8. The reason why you feel that life is always targeting you is entirely because you are ugly. If you were beautiful, you would be cheating every day.

9. At a friend's party, one of my friends drank too much, so I took him to the hotel room. Then he notified his wife to take care of him. As a result, the moment his wife walked in, he yelled: Get me a younger one.

1 Give yourself some confidence. Don’t take it personally as soon as someone mentions being fat, because you may not be able to sit down!

11. When I was a child, female ghosts always liked to scare me in my dreams. Now that I have grown up, become sensible, and have been single for a long time, the female ghosts no longer dare to appear!

12. Today my friend said he wanted to switch cars with me. After hearing this, I agreed. When I gave him the car key, he handed me a bus card.

13. Stupidity is contagious, don’t get close to me, I’m smart.

14. You don’t know how stingy my boyfriend is. He gave me a red envelope worth 25 on Valentine’s Day and told me to look at it upside down.

15. I said that I like a very good boy, but I feel that there is no chance. My mother said, what are you afraid of? Although you are terrible, you have the opportunity to meet such a good person, which means that he is destined to This is destined to happen.

16. If it doesn’t look good, don’t mess around with it: Some people spend a lot of money to perm exquisite princess curls, but they don’t look like princesses, like Newton.

Seventeen. I don’t have any outstanding advantages, except that I have a very accurate eye for girls. All the girls I chased ended up marrying good families without exception.

18. I was in physical education class in junior high school and I fell ill that day. I originally wanted to give a leave note to the physical education teacher, but I dug into the wrong pocket and pulled out a dime note. Before I could react, I said: I'm asking for leave. "The teacher frowned and said something even more outrageous: This is too little...

Nineteen. The teacher said, students, don't fall in love early. What you are talking about now will be with others in the future. When I heard about my wife, I thought, damn, someone else’s wife, it’s exciting to think about it.

Twenty. Studying is my wife, and my mobile phone is my concubine. I miss my concubine when I’m with my wife. I feel ashamed of my wife when I accompany my concubine. I am not a qualified husband.

Twenty-one. A pregnant woman was told that she was deficient in calcium during her physical examination. She said that I should go home and drink pig bone soup. He said unhurriedly: "Today's pigs are ready for slaughter in three or four months. They grow faster on feed. They are more calcium deficient than you. They don't know how to supplement calcium. How do you still expect them?" "

Twenty-two. You must express your love for someone. If you don't get rejected, you really think you are a heartthrob.

Twenty-three. One day, the leader comes During our company inspection, we saw the fish tank in my office. After looking at it for a long time, I couldn’t figure out what it was. I asked, “It’s a shrimp.” "The leader was stunned, turned around and left. I quickly shouted: "The leader is a shrimp! Shrimp! lead. The leader is really a jerk. "I was fired the next day.

Twenty-four. I wish to win the heart of one person, so as to avoid old blind dates.