We will always be separated by water king Luobin

Sanmao and Wang Luobin: I only hate this heart and cannot be with you

Sanmao, walking through the Sahara Desert The goddess of literature and art; Wang Luobin, a generation of singers who sings love songs and watches the sunset at the foot of Tianshan Mountain.

In 1990, Sanmao and Wang Luobin composed a love song that had a beginning and an end because of a long-distance visit. In 1991, Sanmao hanged herself in Taipei and died, which marked the end of her last period of life. In the following years, Wang Luobin was constantly asked about Sanmao, and this became a point he could not avoid. That is the inner sadness of pain.

Since the world prefers legends, people often retell the story of the fate between the goddess of literature and art Sanmao and the king of western singer Wang Luobin as "unparalleled love". Sanmao's friends commented that this was a period of "love and hatred"; Sanmao's sister said, "This is the passing of feelings between elders and younger generations, but Sanmao expresses love to his elders in a different way."

Which is right and which is wrong? Emotional matters are the hardest to prove. Usually, between the fact that there are noses and eyes, and the seriousness of worldly legends, there is often a kind of self-knowledge that only belongs to bystanders.

Sanmao liked Wang Luobin's songs when she was a child, such as "The Girl from Dabancheng", "Half Moon Climbs Up", "Youth Dance", etc., which she was familiar with. And when Sanmao decided to visit the person behind his childhood singing, he had to start with a story.

In 1989, after Hong Kong female writer Xia Jie visited Wang Luobin in Xinjiang, she published three articles "The Story of Wang Luobin" in "Taiwan Daily", which were very popular among readers.

Sanmao was moved by this story: every evening, he would sit in front of the door and watch the sunset; after dark, he would always play a piece of music to his wife’s portrait hanging on the old wall. listen.

She said: "This old man is so sad and cute! I want to write a letter to comfort him. I can't wait to fly to Xinjiang to visit him immediately!" So Sanmao asked Xia Jie for Wang Luobin's address.

Sanmao

In April 1990, Sanmao joined a tour group in Taiwan and visited Dunhuang and Turpan. On the 16th, the tour group stopped briefly in Urumqi to catch the return flight. In the afternoon, she asked for leave and left the team. In the name of being entrusted by the editor-in-chief of "Mingdao Literature and Art" to deliver her manuscript remuneration, she went to Wang Luobin's home alone at the address.

At this time, 77-year-old Wang Luobin knew very little about 47-year-old Sanmao. He only heard that she was a famous Taiwanese writer, but he had not read any of the books she had written. Out of courtesy, he warmly received Sanmao. This meeting and exchange took place in a comfortable atmosphere, and they "talked very speculatively."

Sanmao and Wang Luobin talked about their respective experiences and creations. Sanmao sang "Olive Tree" composed by himself for Wang Luobin, and Wang Luobin sang "Tall Poplar Tree", his prison work for Sanmao. When singing "The lonely grave is covered with lilacs, my beard is covered with chest", Sanmao cried.

Wang Luobin

Wang Luobin obviously has a deep memory of Sanmao’s first visit. He wrote down this meeting with emotion:

"Who was knocking on the door? The voice was so soft, as if afraid of disturbing the owner. When I opened the door, I was surprised. It turned out to be a person. She is a cowgirl. She looks so charming - a gold-rimmed belt, a large checkered skirt, a large floral scarf on her head, and only her big eyes exposed."

"Me. When she brought the guests into the living room and returned with the water, she was taking off her hat, opening her floral kerchief, and shaking her head in front of the mirror on the piano. Her curly hair fell all over her shoulders. It was a fairy-like gesture. "< /p>

Wang Luobin commented on Sanmao: "What a passionate, cheerful, free and uninhibited woman!"

The next night, Wang Luobin went to the hotel to see Sanmao off. When he asked the waiter about Sanmao, he alarmed everyone in the hotel. It turned out that the name used on Sanmao's accommodation registration certificate was her real name Chen Ping, which did not attract anyone's attention. Now that Wang Luobin said he was looking for Sanmao, it immediately caused a sensation.

The waiters and waitresses rushed to tell each other and brought a lot of Sanmao's books published in mainland China and asked her to sign them. Only then did Wang Luobin realize how influential Sanmao was.

The sudden impact from fans made the two no longer have the opportunity to talk quietly. When we parted, Sanmao told Wang Luobin: "I will definitely come to visit you again in September. Please write to me." On April 27, only nine days after Sanmao left Urumqi, she sent Wang Luobin her first letter.

In the letter, she regarded the acquaintance of the two as an irresistible destiny, and she did not think that there was an age limit between them, and declared straightforwardly: You can't ask me. Don't love you!

This was the only time in Sanmao's life that her heart moved after the death of her husband Jose.

How could she have imagined at that time that her active display of love would end in vain?

Sanmao met Wang Luobin for the first time

It is difficult to have a peaceful world for two people in the world of mortals

After returning to Taiwan, Sanmao related the relationship between himself and Wang Luobin. The meeting and conversation were compiled into "Wang Luobin, the father of northwest folk songs, fell in love with a whip" and "The original author was found in that distant place", which were published in Taiwanese newspapers and Singapore's "Lianhe Zaobao" respectively, causing huge repercussions; Wang Luobin responded Invited by the mainland media, he wrote two short articles, "Visitors from the Strait" and "Return Visit", and published them in the "United Daily News".

In the following more than three months, the two wrote more than 10 letters to each other. Faced with San Mao's unobstructed and passionate emotions, Wang Luobin, as an art master who has written countless love songs, is by no means a dull person who does not understand the style. It was Sanmao's frankness and frankness that caused ripples in his already stagnant inner lake, but the reality that stood between the two made him uneasy.

After thinking twice, he wrote to Sanmao, expressing his hesitation tactfully: Bernard Shaw had a worn-out umbrella that had long lost its function, but he still took it with him when he went out and regarded it as an umbrella. Used as a crutch. In his letter, Wang Luobin laughed at himself sadly, "I am like Bernard Shaw's worn-out umbrella."

After that, Wang Luobin gradually reduced the number of letters he wrote to Sanmao. For this reason, Sanmao wrote a hurried letter, blaming him: "You are so cruel, you have made me lose the crutch of life!"

In August 1990, Sanmao was in Beijing to rewrite the narration for the movie "Red Dust" . After work, she took a plane and arrived in Urumqi on the evening of the 23rd. Wang Luobin, wearing a fine suit and tie, walked to the cabin door to greet Sanmao. Sanmao and Wang Luobin slowly walked down the gangway side by side and accepted the flowers presented by more than 10 young men and women.

Such a grand welcome ceremony surprised Sanmao. Later I learned that a TV crew at that time was planning to shoot a documentary TV film reflecting Wang Luobin's music career. I heard that Sanmao was coming, so I specially planned this welcome episode to build momentum.

But Sanmao was not informed of this in advance, which made her a little awkward.

After arriving in Urumqi, Sanmao moved into Wang Luobin's house. The latter had already prepared a room for her, with a bed, a desk, and a lamp.

Sanmao put on a very exquisite Tibetan dress specially customized for her trip to Nepal, and imitated the dress of Dolma, the heroine of "In That Far Far Away". She and Wang Luobin each rode a bicycle and traveled around the streets of Urumqi, going in and out of department stores, melon and fruit stalls, and vegetable markets, buying vegetables and cooking for Wang Luobin.

However, what Sanmao thought was a peaceful life for just two people was often interrupted by the filming of TV documentaries that Wang Luobin wanted to participate in. The film crew would take him out to shoot outdoor scenes, and then come to the apartment for actual filming. Sometimes they would even invite Sanmao to act in a "good show"...

Later, Sanmao became ill. Wang Luobin invited a doctor to treat her. Worried that Sanmao would feel lonely and inconvenienced, he hired a girl to take care of her until she recovered. Although he fulfilled his responsibility as a host and warmly received Sanmao, he never had time to appreciate her intentions and her deep love for him.

In the early morning of September 7, Sanmao left with the suitcase originally full of clothes, and Wang Luobin said goodbye to her at the airport.

On December 11, Sanmao wrote to Wang Luobin for the last time, informing him that he was engaged to an old British friend and thanking Wang Luobin for his hospitality.

But in fact, Sanmao was not engaged to anyone.

Write waiting as a love song to the deceased

In the early morning of January 5, 1991, Wang Luobin heard the news of Sanmao’s suicide from the radio. It was like a bolt from the blue. It made him extremely sad.

During the following period, he began to drink by the bottle to anesthetize himself.

On the front desk in the foyer of his home, there is a large photo of Sanmao, as well as a wisp of beauty that Sanmao cut out before leaving, kept in the music book, and wrapped in white silk. hair.

Wang Luobin always felt that he was unworthy of Sanmao, and even more so.

Sanmao’s original letter to Wang Luobin

It must be admitted that Sanmao attracted him. As a Western singer who wrote so many love songs, he should not be a person who lacks the courage to love. But considering that he was nearly eighty years old and there was a 30-year age gap between him and Sanmao, plus he was limited by considerations of children, public opinion, etc., when faced with Sanmao's unsolicited love, he had some thoughts. Moving and uneasy.

After hesitating, all he had left to himself was waiting. And waiting became the theme of the last love song written by Wang Luobin in his life. Its subtitle is "A Love Song to the Dead":

You have waited and waited under the olive tree,

But I am wandering and wandering in a distant place,

Life is a hidden dream,

Please don’t blame me.

In order to bring back the regret,

I also wait,

Whenever the moon is full,

facing the olive tree alone Worship.

You will never come again, I will always wait,

Waiting, waiting, waiting,

The more I wait, the more love I have in my heart.

On March 14, 1996, Wang Luobin, the king of singing, passed away in Hexi and died at the age of 83. I hope that in another world, love or waiting will no longer be a difficult problem for him or Sanmao that needs to be endured with pain.