Before I was born, my parents gave me high hopes. According to my grandmother, my parents wanted me to be a boy, because in our remote mountain village, every family likes boys, and only boys can have family love.
Unfortunately, I am a girl. My grandmother said that if the fortune-teller didn't say that I could bring my younger brother and a son to my parents, it is estimated that there would be no Li Zhaodi in this world now.
My life since I was a child was full of abuse and toil ... Just like my name, recruiting a younger brother, my only function may be to bring a younger brother to my family ...
The fortune-teller was right, and I successfully brought a boy to our family. On the day my brother was born, I saw a smile on my parents' faces that I had never seen before. Although I was very young at that time, I still remember that smile. At that time, I should also be happy in my heart. After all, I seem to be somewhat useful.
it seems that I was born a mistake, and my later life also proved that I was a mistake. In order to get the slightest affection from my parents, I tried my best to be kind to my brother, so that I became a "brother-helper" who even hated myself later.
1. Memories of childhood
When I was a child in the countryside, I had to do farm work every day. I went up the mountain to cut wood and pick mushrooms to sell money at the market. At home, I also had to cook and wash clothes by fire. That's right, just like what you saw on TV, just like the children in the mountainous area of Guizhou who were cut in line by Zhou Rong in the recent TV series "On Earth".
In fact, the reality is often worse than TV series. Once, on my way back from the mountain, it suddenly rained heavily. I fell down with heavy firewood on my back and rolled for a long time. When the rain fell on my face, I thought it would be a good thing for me if it could take me away and leave this world. But I still hope my parents can find me missing, and I hope they can find me.
I vaguely heard my parents' voices. "Why didn't you throw her to death! Life is really big. I was sent home when I was seen, and I have to pay for it. "
" Yes, it will cost money again. This money has to be saved for Li Long's wife, so how can I spend it on her? "Yes, Li Long is my younger brother.
"It still needs to be cured, or whoever does housework will go out and sell things to make money."
After hearing these words, I seem to be numb. Yes, in this family, I am a transparent existence, and transparent people just don't make trouble for my family. Unfortunately, I found a lot of trouble this time. I can feel my leg hurts, but I'm glad that they can still pay for my medical expenses.
after a month, I finally got well and had to start my old life again. I was weak, but what could I do?
"elder sister, cook for me, I'm hungry, hurry up" Li Long shouted at the top of his voice.
"Wait a minute, can I do it after I wash my clothes?"
"No, what's so important about clothes? Go and cook for me first. There are so many things, so you can do whatever you want! Believe it or not, I told my dad to go. "
"ok, I'll go now."
I dare not refute anything. If my dad is invited, it will be another slap, and Li Long will still watch the fun.
I still remember clearly that once I was working in the yard, Li Longfei came to make trouble for me. I accidentally met him, but it was not heavy at all. He came to my dad crying and said that I had hit him.
My dad picked up the broom and hit me without saying anything, and Li Long was still making faces at me, as if to say, Look, if you mess with me, you'll be dead ...
2. The hardship of studying
My parents also tried every means to obstruct my schooling. They just wanted me to work for my family, earn money from mountain products, so that my younger brother could go to school and save money for my younger brother to get a wife.
Grandma said, "Let Zhaodi study, and I can work after school. If I study, I can get married better in the future, and I can get more money for the bride price ..."
Maybe my grandmother loves me and wants to help me, or maybe she is just thinking about my mother and my brother. Maybe letting me go to school is just an investment in my brother's future. Anyway, having books to read gives me a spiritual sustenance in the hard days in the countryside.
I am crazy about learning the knowledge in the book. I am eager to go out of the mountain village and see the world in the book. Although not knowing knowledge at that time would change my destiny, in those years, reading became the only spiritual pillar for me to enjoy my pains.
Later, my brother went to school, too. I took him to a school more than ten miles away every day, and he was always playful on the road, so he was often late and often came home late.
I remember one time, because my brother was shooting birds on his way home, climbing a tree to dig out the bird's nest and coming home late, my father threw me a stick and a basket directly.
"I just want to play, don't go home, and I don't do anything at home, right? Go begging, and don't come back, so as not to bring the dragon dragon bad." My father finished pulling his brother back to the house and left me standing alone in the empty yard.
I looked at the crooked sticks and worn bamboo baskets in front of me, and tears gushed out. I didn't dare to explain, and I was powerless to explain. My brother still made a face at me and proudly followed his father back to the house for dinner.
Maybe that's when I learned my unusual patience. No matter how my parents beat and scold me, no matter what my younger brother did, I silently shed tears and endured it alone, without any complaints, and I didn't dare to complain.
This character also brought me a lot of misfortunes in my later life.
after graduating from junior high school, I was admitted to a key high school in the county, but my parents refused to let me go on studying. They thought that a girl would marry after reading more books.
If the teacher hadn't come to persuade me, I would have been married now, or I would have been feeding pigs and cooking and raising children at home all day like other country girls.
during my three years in high school, I didn't slack off. I spent 12 minutes studying hard. I cherish the hard-won learning opportunity very much. I want to go out of our poor mountain village with knowledge and change my destiny with knowledge, just like the teacher said.
My parents were not as happy as I was when I got the letter of admission to the Chinese Department of Sichuan University. They always thought that it was a waste to give me money. Their money was used to marry my brother Li Long. Faced with the tuition fee of several thousand yuan per semester and living expenses, they gave me an ultimatum.
"Either marry or break my leg and break off the relationship".
I rebelled against my parents for the first time. That summer vacation, I secretly went to the county town alone and found a restaurant as a coolie to serve dishes and wash dishes. The boss was also a kind person. Knowing that I was trying to earn tuition, he not only let me stay in the store, but also gave me 3 yuan more when I settled the account.
I went to school with 25 yuan I earned in a month and a half.
when I got to school, I learned about the student loan, and with the help of the class teacher and the student union, I successfully applied for it.
College courses are not as tight as those in high school. I use my spare time as a tutor and do all kinds of part-time jobs. I want to change my destiny by my own efforts, and I also try to help my parents and younger brother to live a good life if possible in the future.
3. Sweetness of love
Once, after class, I hurried to be a tutor. When I rushed down the stairs, my foot slipped and I bumped into the boy in front, and the book I was holding spilled all over the floor. The boy didn't blame me, but also helped me pick up the book, looked at its signature and looked at me with a questioning expression, "Li Zhaodi?"
I flushed when I saw his thoughtful expression, not only because I collided with him, but also because of the scum of my own soil, which made people think of names.
"Sorry, I'm in a hurry. Sorry, thank you!"
I apologized to the boy incoherently, and thanked him for helping me pick out books. God knows how much I wanted a crack to get in at that moment.
Later, I often ran into the boy with heavy eyebrows and thoughtful expression. Later, I learned that it was also that time that I bumped into him. Because of my blushing, he became curious about me, inquired about my situation, and knew that I was desperately working part-time to repay the loan and earn living expenses.
In fact, the attraction between people is just a moment. After many encounters, we slowly came together.
His name is Sun Feiyang, a junior in computer science. He is very kind-hearted. Although we are not from the same department, he always comes to see me when I take a part-time job in class. How can such a careful boy keep me from being tempted?
In his sophomore year, Feiyang worked part-time with his seniors to write some APP applets. He was also considered a middle-class man among our students. He didn't rely on his family, so he especially appreciated my independence when he knew that I was paying off my living expenses on a part-time basis, but he didn't know that I was really forced.
Feiyang takes me out to restaurants from time to time to improve my life, and also gives me some small gifts that girls like. For me who lacked love since childhood, I am ecstatic every time I receive his gift. When I see my happy appearance, he will kiss my cheek, and I can see his eyes full of love.
I grew up in a family that my parents didn't love, and I got the love I never enjoyed in my life in Feiyang. At that time, I was like Cinderella in a fairy tale. At that moment, I put on glass shoes and lived happily with my Prince Charming.
Feiyang saw that I had a hard part-time job, and told me more than once that if I did less, he could support me, but he was a student. How could I shift my pressure on him? Although my parents didn't provide me with schooling, I was thinking about supporting my family, especially my younger brother.
Feiyang often puts some money in my wallet, telling me to buy something to eat on my part-time job. Don't be hungry. He will also carefully buy wool gloves online, put them on me, and when I am happy, he smiles and kisses me, touching my head and calling me a silly girl. Just be silly. It's so nice to be hurt!
When I came home for the Spring Festival in the winter vacation, Feiyang bought me a lot of things and brought me two thousand yuan. I was afraid that I would need it on the way, and I was afraid that my parents would stop me from going back to school after I got home. I told him to wait for him to pick me up at the beginning of school. At that moment, I was really touched by Feiyang's careful care.
4. family exploitation
when I got home, my parents didn't lift their eyes when they saw what I brought home. They just said to me, "Since you can earn money to go to school and support yourself, we won't stop you, but you must give your family 5, yuan every year."
I agreed to their request, thinking that as long as they don't stop me, I can continue studying, even if I do more part-time jobs!
At this moment, my younger brother ran over and snatched the mobile phone that Feiyang bought for me.
"Sister, give me the mobile phone. Many students in our school have it, so they don't have to laugh at me anymore."
"No, I need it when I work part-time."
Suddenly, my father slapped me hard. "You are a dead girl. Give it to your brother. You can earn money and buy it again. What's wrong with giving your brother a mobile phone?"
I was just about to speak when my mobile phone rang, so I couldn't speak. My brother ran away to pick it up and immediately said, "Li Zhaodi isn't here, so I gave him his mobile phone.".
"elder sister, the other party called you Xiao Zhao. Is it your boyfriend? Did he buy the mobile phone, too?"
My parents gave me a strange look. I don't know what they think, but I know in my heart that they must be up to something new, but I just feel powerless about what happened in front of me.
On the 13th day of the first month, Feiyang came to meet me as promised, fearing that I would be detained by my parents and could not go to school.
as everyone knows, my parents are very enthusiastic about Feiyang, and only I know what is behind this enthusiasm.
Otherwise, less than a month after we returned to school, Feiyang received a phone call from his father, saying that my brother had a fight with his classmates because of my new mobile phone, and his head was broken and he had more than a dozen stitches, and the other party demanded compensation of 5, yuan.
My parents can never come up with this 5, yuan. On the phone, they told Feiyang that I had to send the money back the next day, otherwise my brother would be detained.
Feiyang looked at me crying, hugged me and said that he had just 5, left, so let me send it back first, otherwise my brother would leave a criminal record, which would be very unfavorable to his later life.
It's because of this 5, yuan that my parents think it's easy for me to earn money by working part-time at school. Even if it's not easy for me, Feiyang can help me. They ask me for money again and again on the pretext that my brother is ill or my mother is ill, so that all my part-time money fills the hole in my family.
5. The warming of love
It's summer vacation, and Feiyang started to practice in a technology company, and also took some jobs privately. I didn't go home, worked part-time during the day, cooked food for Feiyang at home at night, and then we occasionally went to see a movie, and the days were fairly relaxed and comfortable.
Feiyang told me that now that he earns a lot, I can study with peace of mind instead of taking a part-time job, but how can I, as he said, often ask me for money at home and regard Feiyang and me as a cash cow? I think I must earn more money before my brother gets married.
It may be my childhood inertia or my weak personality. In short, I have been enduring exploitation at home. Although I am only a student, I have to earn my own tuition and living expenses.
It is said that knowledge can change fate and be a tutor. I met all kinds of students and seniors. Some children from wealthy families didn't work hard. Their parents only thought that I was with their children, and they didn't ask me how well I could teach them. On the contrary, some of them were very strict.
There are other families, where parents scrimp and save just to make their children prosperous in the future. I wrote down these stories and feelings and contributed them to some magazines and WeChat official account. Slowly, the income from manuscript fees became the source of my part-time income, and before I knew it, the balance of my bank card exceeded five figures.
When I was showing off with Feiyang, Feiyang touched my head and said, "If it weren't for your family, you would definitely be a better woman",
"But I can't leave my parents and brother alone!"
"I know that boys are preferred to girls in rural areas, but it's the first time I've seen you like this, but let's work hard together and I'll try my best to help you."
Although Feiyang said the same thing many times, that day was not touched by me before. If Feiyang hadn't been with me for more than a year, I don't know if I could stick to it. If it hadn't been Feiyang, when my brother had an accident.
thinking about all the good things about Feiyang, I kissed Feiyang on my own initiative, and Feiyang was very warm. We merged into each other again and again, whispering each other's names again and again. At that moment, the world seemed to be still, just me and Feiyang.
6. My younger brother came.
When I woke up in the morning, Feiyang and I looked at each other, reminiscing about yesterday's pledge of eternal love, and suddenly a hurried ringing of the phone broke this beauty.
Li Long's voice on the other end of the phone said, "Sister,