How to write a summary after searching online. The mainstream opinion is that the review is mainly to give leaders a face. I made a mistake, and the leader should take it out. I'll make a review to calm him down.
Generally speaking, it is also a form to let the leaders gain some face.
Others simply dig deep into their hearts, touch their souls, degrade themselves to nothing, and even cry … ...
These apology methods regard the behavior of apology as a social behavior and an influence tool.
But in the end, will you get what you originally wanted?
What exactly do you want to do when you apologize?
There is such a clip in the movie Zootopia: Judy Rabbit apologizes to Nick Fox.
This is the line:
I know you will never forgive me.
I can understand and I won't forgive myself.
I am too ignorant, too irresponsible and too narrow-minded.
But carnivores shouldn't be wronged because of my mistakes.
I have to make up for my mistake, but I can't do it without you.
When we finish this matter, it doesn't matter how much you hate me, because I am a terrible friend and hurt you.
You always knew you were right. You could have left me.
I am really a stupid rabbit.
Did you learn how to apologize from the above words?
A good apology has three steps:
1. The motivation is clear: not to win back the trust of others, but to improve one's personality.
What is the problem of personality perfection?
It is the gap between "what to do" and "what to be". You must try your best to narrow the gap. You must compete with yourself.
2. Learn something: if you have attitude problems, you can solve attitude problems, and if you have ability problems, you can solve ability problems.
If you really help others, but you finally help them. Is it because you didn't pay enough attention to this matter and didn't know the specific situation in advance, or because you didn't have enough ability to screw it up? When others criticize you, your instinctive reaction may be defensive counterattack. But if you really want to learn something from this and grow, then you must look at it from the other side's point of view. What you should consider next is what to do in the future, how to improve your attitude and ability.
Only when you analyze and solve your own problems can your apology be considered by others.
3. Apologize: Explain your mistakes and your changes, but leave the decision whether to forgive or not to the other party.
In your apology, you should tell others your own evaluation and reflection on this matter, which is your response to the other person's feelings. What was the result you originally wanted, but because of your mistake, what was the result of this matter and what harm it brought to the other party.
The purpose of apologizing should not be to get something from the other person-it is beyond your control. You can only control yourself.
Apologize to improve your personality, not manipulate the other person's attitude towards you. Many times we put the cart before the horse, join in striving for others' understanding, and join in unloading our own ideological burdens. It is not sincere "consideration for others", but your goal that determines the result of your efforts.
From the outside to the inside is what a mature person should have. Walking inside means being able to introspect and live in awareness.