What is "forbearance"?

Intuitively, a simple understanding... the word "心" means putting a knife on your head!

Be patient! Forget it! A little impatience can ruin a big plan...

When something goes wrong, friends often comfort me like this, and I even comfort myself in this way.

Han Xin's humiliation of the crotch and Gou Jian's lying on the ground and tasting courage, these are the best examples of the word "endurance".

Endure the calm for a while and take a step back to open up the world. The wisdom of these predecessors is passed down orally.

One of the criteria for judging whether an adult is mature is how to "endure humiliation and bear the burden" .

The result?

What will be the consequences of forbearance? Will it really be: the willows are dark and the flowers are bright, and the spring is warm and the flowers are blooming?

No one cares about the consequences of being too "tolerant". They only know that if you want to achieve great things, you must work your muscles and bones, starve your body and skin, and endure what ordinary people cannot endure.

But everyone has overlooked the key point: Who is Han Xin? Who is Gou Jian? Who is the person who wants to achieve great things?

On the other hand, we are Who? ...the common people, ordinary ordinary people.

Ask yourself, can you achieve the realm of these "characters"?

Is there such a "big plan"?

It is far-fetched to force myself to "endure", but my own cultivation level cannot keep up, and I cannot vent.

What will happen?

The lightest consequences...sickness, depression,

The most serious consequences...family destruction.

In today’s society, depression is very common and has a lot to do with “tolerance”.

Everyone has heard the story of Dayu’s flood control. According to legend, Dayu led the people to fight against floods caused by natural disasters. Facing the torrential floods, Dayu learned lessons from Gun’s failure to control floods and changed his mind. The "blocking" method was used to divert the flood, and in the end, victory was achieved.

Among them, the key point is: it should be sparse and not blocked.

The same goes for emotions. Channeling and venting can solve problems better than forbearance.

Don’t put the cart before the horse.

Many companies in Japan have specially set up employee venting rooms, which are similar to human-shaped sandbags. Employees can hang the head of a certain leader on the sandbag, and then beat the sandbag.

After a few rounds, I felt comfortable. The things I usually didn’t dare to say or do, I just vented out with fist after fist. It felt so good!

There used to be such clubs in big cities, but not many of them were able to operate sustainably, which is a bit puzzling.

After analysis, it should be the subtle influence of Chinese culture, Confucianism, Taoism and other cultural heritages,

Coupled with the restraint of the Chinese people themselves, the behavior of overly exposing their emotions, Relatively exclusive.

Most of the time, they will just choose to bear it alone, drink and sulk.

The consequences of being depressed are illness, depression, physical breakdown, family breakdown, and career loss.

There is no reasonable and appropriate way to vent, and the consistent "tolerance" is not worth the gain.

Don’t try to persuade others to be kind if you haven’t experienced their suffering. In this world, you can’t fully empathize with others.

Since you are staying out of the matter, don’t keep trying to persuade the person involved. You have to be patient. Give way.

Standing at the highest point of morality, he pointed fingers and said: I am doing this for your own good.

To put it bluntly, this is "moral kidnapping."

Xiaofang and Xiaohai are college classmates. They met and fell in love and got married.

Xiaofang is beautiful and noble, an intellectual woman, and her family is well off. Her parents are university professors and she has an older brother.

Xiao Hai is a typical farmer's boy. His mother has intermittent mental illness and his father is disabled. His family is extremely poor and he has three sisters.

Xiaohai’s success in college was all due to the betrothal gifts and support from her sisters.

Xiao Hai is eloquent, tall, handsome, and can look like a model in a T-shirt worth tens of yuan.

During college, Xiaohai was the president of the student union and the school belle, while Xiaofang was a member of the student union and the school belle.

Xiaofang is very beautiful, but a bit arrogant.

Since entering college, Xiaofang has countless admirers behind her, including Xiaohai.

Xiaohai has been in love with Xiaofang since he entered the university. However, Xiaohai is very self-aware. His family conditions are too poor and he has to scrape together tuition fees. No matter how much he likes her, he does not dare to love her. Confession,

But girls are so strange. They are used to seeing all kinds of attentive Xiaofang, but they have a special liking for Xiaohai, who is far and near, and thinks she is cool and unique.

For young people who have just tasted love, love is more important than anything else. Sleeping on the street is a kind of romance.

Of course, this love was opposed by Xiaofang’s parents.

Xiaofang’s parents were not philistines, but Xiaohai’s family was too poor and her parents were in poor health. She married off , there will definitely be a huge burden in the future.

As parents, Xiaofang’s parents were not wrong.

But in Xiaofang’s philosophy, as long as there is love, money is an external possession and they can earn it by their own efforts. Xiaofang seems to be right.

Under Xiaofang's desperate struggle, the two got married, and the wedding room, car, wedding banquet...

Of course, everything was borne by Xiaofang's parents.

At the wedding, Xiaofang's father said to Xiaohai: "My daughter is the one we pampered. I hope you will be more tolerant in the future. If you are not satisfied with her, please don't hurt her and return it to us." ."

Xiaohai solemnly vowed: "I will be good to Xiaofang for the rest of my life."

After marriage, the two were very affectionate and envied others.

Xiaohai worked in a state-owned enterprise after graduation, and Xiaofang became a middle school teacher, earning an ordinary salary, but with constant support from her parents, it was quite easy.

Two years later, Xiaofang gave birth to a daughter. The household expenses suddenly increased.

Xiaofang discovered that Xiaohai’s money was getting less and less, and most of the family’s expenses were financed by Xiaofang.

I couldn’t help but ask Xiaohai. Xiaohai said: Giving a portion to my parents every month, studying for several sisters and children, etc., is not enough every month.

Xiaofang knew the situation of Xiaohai's family, so she stopped asking.

A wealthy child, generous and kind, did not understand the value of firewood, rice, oil and salt.

But even so, Xiaohai's family still cannot make ends meet. His parents are sick every day, and his sisters need support for various things at home.

Xiaohai only has that little salary every month, which is not enough to fill these holes.

Xiaohai decided to start a business overseas.

In order to support Xiaohai, Xiaofang secretly sold the wedding house given to her by her parents, and found various reasons to borrow one million from her brother and parents.

In this way, Xiaohai started his entrepreneurial career. Xiaohai himself was very down-to-earth and good at seizing opportunities.

More than ten years later, the company grew bigger and bigger, and soon became one of the well-known local companies.

Where is Xiaohai? He became an outstanding young entrepreneur, a chairman with a handsome face and a handsome demeanor, who looked like Pan An.

Such a man, of course, has become the prince charming in the hearts of countless women.

Xiaohai is a man who values ??friendship. He believes in himself and he will definitely be worthy of Xiaofang.

But Xiaohai still overestimated himself.

Rich men will not necessarily become bad, but they will definitely have a lot of temptations, especially rich and handsome men.

Xiao Hai himself can’t remember whether it was because he was too drunk, feeling weak and resigned, or whether it was a dark moon and a high wind, half pushing and half giving. Anyway, after the first time, the rest will follow one after another.

Xiao Hai slowly enjoyed this life of being hugged from one side to the other, with all kinds of things happening.

Although Xiaohai is a sensual person, he is still very kind to Xiaofang. He is very generous with food, clothing, luxuries, and various holidays. Apart from the couple's life, it is true that he is beyond his capabilities and can't take care of it. .

Xiaofang is fortunate that she has a keen eye and has never doubted it.

On this day, Xiaofang’s 40th birthday, Xiaohai held an extremely luxurious banquet for her.

There were many friends and relatives coming and going. Xiaofang held her daughter in one hand and her husband in the other. She felt that she was the happiest woman in the world.

At this time, suddenly a two or three-year-old boy in the crowd ran towards Xiaohai and called "Dad, Daddy, hug, hug."

A particularly beautiful little boy, with a tiger-like head and a big brain, is extremely cute. Xiaofang can clearly feel that Xiaohai's body is stiff and he is stunned.

A beautiful young woman rushed over, holding the child in her arms, and kept apologizing: "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, the child is running around and screaming, disturbing everyone."

Brief surprise Afterwards, the atmosphere returned to normal again. It was normal for children to yell and scream, but no one took it seriously.

But Xiaofang felt like she was covered in ice, Xiao Hai was stiff, and the little boy's face resembled Xiao Hai, everything was obvious.

Xiaofang thought about it carefully. In the past few years, there has been very little married life. Xiaohai often travels on business and looks tired when he comes home. Xiaofang is embarrassed even if she needs it.

After returning home, Xiaofang cried and Xiaohai panicked. In Xiaohai's heart, Xiaofang's position was unshakable and he didn't want to hurt Xiaofang.

But the fact is: in these years, Xiaohai not only has Yingying Yanyan, but also has several regular mistresses, and there are two or three children outside.

With a family outside of home, Xiao Hai often has no skills to deal with. These women are all devoted to Xiao Hai, and they all voluntarily promised that they would not harm Xiao Hai's family and were willing to be the women behind Xiao Hai's backstage.

Paper cannot contain the fire after all. When the truth was revealed, Xiaofang collapsed.

Xiaofang’s parents, brother, and friends all advised Xiaofang to be patient. Successful men are like this. As long as he has you in his heart and as long as he doesn’t get divorced, just make do with it!

Almost no one scolded Xiao Hai, and no one criticized Xiao Hai loudly.

My brother said to Xiaofang: "Be patient! As long as a man knows how to go home and has you and your children in his heart, he will be a good man."

Parents to Xiaofang Said: "Don't let the family scandal be publicized. Just bear with it. You chose Xiaohai yourself, and you two have a relationship. The relationship outside will not last long after all. When you get older, Xiaohai will accept it, and he will naturally return to the family."

A friend said to Xiaofang: "Be patient, you must not divorce, and you cannot take advantage of those vixens. If you let go of a top-notch man like Xiaohai, you will never get him back again."

Xiaofang's eyes were filled with tears. She was arrogant and had a mysophobia, and she could not imagine her man being owned by countless women.

Xiaofang was distraught and didn't know what to do. The feeling of being pierced by thousands of arrows made her at a loss.

Xiaofang has changed, she has become suspicious, she is no longer as gentle and pleasant as before, and she has become like a resentful woman. She follows Xiaohai wherever she goes, and she feels uncomfortable whenever Xiaohai touches her. dirty.

From the guilt at the beginning to the disgust later, Xiaohai's eyes showed undisguised disgust.

Xiaofang's self-esteem has been completely trampled on. Xiaofang herself is a cultured woman and she knows that if this continues, she is very likely to be abandoned by Xiaohai in the end.

Xiaofang wants a divorce , Chengquan Xiaohai also let herself go,

As soon as she brought it up, various voices came again: "Be patient, the child is still too young. After the divorce, if we look for him again, there will be no biological father to care about him." The child is so good..."

We can't leave, we can't make trouble, we can only "endure, endure, endure".

Xiaofang endured depression, breast hyperplasia, uterine fibroids, headaches, and long-term insomnia.

At the age of 42, just after the Chinese New Year, after her children went to school, Xiaofang committed suicide. On their marriage bed, there was a large bottle of sleeping pills...

When it was discovered, it was already too late.

Xiaofang’s family was devastated and regretted it. If they had known this, they might as well have divorced her.

If I had known today, why bother in the beginning!

Xiaofang left, freed in her own way.

There is no way of knowing what is going on in Xiao Hai’s mind. I only heard that Xiao Hai was often drunk and the competition for women in the harem was extremely fierce.

I also heard that Xiaohai Company has been poorly managed and has difficulty operating in recent years.

I have never seen Xiaohai again, and I have met Xiaofang’s parents. They are much older...