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Children don't like learning how to educate.
Learning is an instinct.

Children are born with the ability to learn, and people are actually learning from birth, in order to master the most basic viability; And every child is full of strong curiosity about everything in the world, and curiosity is the driving force of learning. How can a child survive, adapt and develop if he doesn't study and doesn't like it?

Children's learning is autonomous and full of fun. Montessori believes that no one is educated by others, he must educate himself. Everyone has a sincere curiosity and love for the unknown. Montessori believes that "in early childhood, the purpose of education should not be to cram some selected things into children, but to cultivate their spontaneous desire to learn." However, many parents are not fully aware of this.

It is a natural and pleasant activity for a child to use all his senses to study the information obtained from the interesting environment around him. Children's absorptive learning ability will last until about seven years old. Therefore, Montessori believes that the way children learn to read, write and calculate is a natural way, just like he learns to walk and speak. When children are interested and ready, adults should allow them to study. If we focus on stimulating children's curiosity and cultivating children's learning ability, perhaps the effect will be better and the significance will be far-reaching.

One evening, I took changchang out and met a mother in the community. She asked me, "Are you taking Changchang to study?" I was speechless at that time. If I understand learning as going to cram school or something, my answer will be: "no, I'll take her to play." If learning is understood as absorbing all new information, then my answer will be: "Yes, I am studying with her." If you don't study, it is the initial state that the child comes out of the delivery room. In the process of their growth, they should constantly learn languages, life skills, all kinds of knowledge, social rules and so on. The question now is, are we teaching children to learn, or are they actively absorbing?

This question reflects our understanding of children and also determines what attitude we will take towards children's learning.

Children always study actively.

As parents, it can get twice the result with half the effort to find out what children want to learn most at a certain stage, and then guide them appropriately.

In fact, many children's initial counting is more like reciting. I once met a child who was asked by his mother to "count" in public, so the child recited aloud from "1" to "100". There was no pause between each number, and there was no such action as "counting". Changchang's mother didn't teach changchang to count backwards from 1, nor did she ask her to say "1+ 1=2" in a conditioned way. Changchang's mother didn't expect that changchang learned to count from playing with green bristlegrass.

About the summer when changchang was two years old and ten months old, her mother took her out to play. The green grass on the roadside attracted her attention. She pulled up tree after tree, so that her little hands could no longer catch it. So she wants her mother to help her grow green bristlegrass. Interestingly, changchang didn't give all the green bristlegrass to his mother, but handed it one by one, saying, "Give one more, give one more". Changchang's mother found that her concept of "1" was still very clear, so she said, "Give it to 1 and it will be two, and then give it to 1 and it will be three." Changchang suddenly became interested. She simply asked her mother for the green bristlegrass and handed her the number "1, 2,3 ..." Soon, she succeeded in counting to 10, then went out to play, counted the steps and the parking spaces in the parking lot. In short, in her mind, counting is no longer the concept of reciting. Imagine if changchang's mother didn't wait until she had an intuitive concept of numbers, or simply recited them from 1, the effect would not be very good.

Parents' wishful "learning" logic

When it comes to learning, many people immediately think it is a very heavy and ceremonial thing: you have to sit still and hang your head on the beam to stab the stock, maybe you have to walk through the snow or shine in the snow. It seems that "learning" has always been a hard job.

What makes learning so boring?

I have been to a friend's house, and there is a thread on the handrail of their stairs. From the first floor to the second floor, I wore a long strip of A4 paper like a flag, and each piece of paper was an ancient poem. I think I am a person who has accumulated enough Tang and Song poems in my mind, but in this ancient poem "Long Snake Array", we are not familiar with many poems. The hostess said, "Anyone can recite it, so it's meaningless for us. I have been looking for ancient poems at work this month. Being a mother is really not easy! " It is not easy. I have nothing to say.

Cece has just turned four. Besides kindergarten, she has to take literacy classes, math thinking classes, English classes, piano classes, dance classes, and a swimming class in summer. "I have no consciousness at all. If we don't stare, we can't do it. If we are not distracted, we will be lazy. " This situation, Cece's mother said almost every day.

I asked her what she really wanted. She was still surprised: "If you don't do it, think about her in the future and study hard, and she will suffer less!" " "

"So that she can study hard at school in the future?" I still don't understand.

"Silly eat silly play every day, learning will certainly not be good in the future. Children are taught by parents. We have created such good conditions for her to learn so much. Can she lay a good foundation and learn poorly? "

What logic is this!

These parents think that they have tried their best to let their children learn this and that, lest they miss any learning opportunities. But with these knowledge and skills, will children become top students in school? Everyone who knows Cece clearly knows how much she doesn't want to learn and how much she doesn't like to learn, but her parents are aggravated because she is not easy to learn, and they are caught in a vicious circle.

Psychologists' Failed "Learning" Experiment

Boris, an American psychologist, firmly believes that the brain in infancy is the most conducive to learning, and opposes all interest activities unrelated to cognitive learning. He believes that children do not need to play games or explore nature.

From 65438 to 0898, Boris's son William became his experiment as soon as he was born.

He taught two-year-old William to read and spell; At the age of three, William could type English and French coherently on a typewriter. At the age of five, you can calculate the calendar; Go to school at the age of six and finish the seven-year course in half a year; Can speak six languages at the age of ten; At the age of eleven, he gave a special report to mathematics professors and graduate students at Harvard University. At that time, a famous math professor predicted that he would become a world-class mathematician. At the age of fifteen, he graduated with the highest honors from Harvard University majoring in mathematics.

However, after studying in graduate school for 1 year, William lost interest in mathematics, and soon after he transferred to law school, he lost interest. He chose the job of a clerk, with no brains, responsibility and a lot of contact with people. He behaves like an autistic person, and the landlord said that he "always looks miserable". William hated his father for forcing himself to study and depriving him of emotional nutrition. He said, "I feel sick as soon as I see math." At the age of forty-six, William died alone because of a cerebral hemorrhage. This extreme case is actually no stranger. From Wang Anshi's Shang in the Song Dynasty to the juvenile class in modern universities, China has always regarded "diligence" and "studiousness" as the highest educational goals and personality advantages, and learning is the whole content that runs through everyone's childhood and adolescence.

Let children fall in love with learning

From birth, children are learning all kinds of skills every day, from simple standing, walking and talking, all through repeated practice. When learning these basic life skills, children often show perseverance, in which interest plays a key role. So how can we keep children's interest?

Tip 1: Protect the initial enthusiasm for learning

Some days, Xiong Zhuangzhuang didn't sleep well. He got up at midnight and was very excited. He urged reading. The strong mother is so sleepy that she has to "study with the prince", which is not sloppy. He even pointed to the introduction of other books on the back cover and insisted that his mother tell me what it was, but he couldn't be wrong-because he already knew it. But the pattern is very small, only about 1/4 fingernails. A strong mother should wear glasses and treat him with a rigorous learning attitude.

A strong mother makes full use of Xiong Zhuang's enthusiasm for learning and follows the trend. When you see a "cat", you should not only teach him to say the word "cat", but also ask him, "What's the cat's name? Meow-"I'll take him to the pet shop to see the real cat sometime. Xiong Zhuang is strong enough to go all out. For example, when he sees a picture of a duckling, he will "quack" and imitate the waddling of the duckling.

Children's initial learning enthusiasm must be carefully protected, which is the source of interest and will affect his lifelong learning attitude. Moreover, children's learning attitude is meticulous from the beginning, and parents should be good guides and supporters.

Tip 2: ignite children's interest in learning.

Rabbit's Eye tells a very touching story. Most of the children living around the garbage dump have not developed good study habits, especially a child named Heisan. He was shocked by the new teacher, Xiaohei: he trampled a frog to death in front of the teacher and hit his classmates. The teacher learned afterwards that he had raised flies! According to the general understanding, black three can basically be classified as problem children.

Miss Xiaohe tried to walk into Heisan's heart, but Heisan ignored her every time and didn't even give a simple reply. After a period of observation, Mr. Xiaohe found that he was not keeping flies because of any special hobby, but observing flies. So teacher Xiaohe took flies as the breakthrough point, gave him relevant books to teach him to read, asked him to draw flies, and practiced writing by writing introductions of various flies. Finally, Heisan became a well-known "Dr. Fly".

Children who are not interested in anything are rare. The key is how to find their interests and guide them appropriately. Many truths in the world are the same, and so is learning. I have also heard that some children learn to count in the process of swinging and learn a lot about three-dimensional geometry in origami.

Tip 3: Encourage children to use their brains.

All children have endless questions about why. My method is to make a "Why Mom" before the children start asking you-ask the children "Why" first.

Born in Zhuang Yi, Xiong Zhuang, this is almost what Zhuang Zhuang's mother said to him. Before he could speak, the strong mother asked herself, "Why is it dark? Because the sun went down. " He can talk, so his mother will ask more "why" and he will try his best to answer. Of course, at first, it was mainly his mother's guidance, because he still couldn't master so many words and his knowledge of the world was limited. In the future, he can "make things up", enjoy some of his "subtle" answers and start asking me "why" endlessly.

This is a way to guide the child's thinking, so that the child's brain will move from passive to active, and he will discover the cause and effect between things by himself, so as to make certain reasoning and association. I believe that one's brain can only be used more and more skillfully. When a child learns how to think and solve problems with his brain, he will also master a very important learning ability. In the process of thinking, the child will also have a sense of accomplishment and fun, which will prompt him to keep thinking and learning. This forms a virtuous circle, and children are certainly eager to learn.

Tip 4: Protect curiosity and thirst for knowledge.

A few years ago, when I interviewed the author of "Lucky Three Treasures", he told me that this song actually recorded a life between him and his daughter. At that time, his wife went to Japan to study, and he lived alone in Beijing with his two-year-old daughter. The child who just learned to speak is full of curiosity about everything. He asks "what's this" and "what's that" all day. He fell in love at first sight. He thinks that such a life scene is a song, so he has "Auspicious Three Treasures" and sings it for a while. The song still keeps the form of father-daughter question and answer: "What are the sun, moon and stars?"? Auspicious three treasures; What is the sun with flowers and leaves? Auspicious three treasures; What are mom, dad and me? Auspicious three treasures. "

We can't expect every parent to write a song for their children, but at least we should accept their children asking "why". But in fact, in the face of children's questions, many parents are either impatient and say, "Why so many?" Or simply perfunctory, casually find an answer to deal with children, and there are not many parents who can honestly answer their children's questions.

If impatient parents are impatient all the time, one day, they will really calm down and their children will probably stop asking any questions. I often hear some parents complain that their children are introverted and say, "When I was young, I often asked' what is this' and' what is that', but when I was older, I stopped talking." If it is not for personality reasons, if children have learned to think independently and do not need to ask adults for help, then parents should reflect on their attitude towards children's problems. Sometimes, children will repeatedly point to something and ask, please tell them patiently and repeatedly, because children just want to verify whether they really remember the answer, please rest assured that they never mean to make things difficult or make fun of their parents. If parents can't answer their children's questions, children will certainly not think that this impatience is to cover up, and children may think that they have done something wrong, which will lead to frustration.

Changchang once pointed to every animal with an ice age cover and asked, "What animal is this?" Asked about sloths, changchang's mother really couldn't remember, but she couldn't answer. She really doesn't feel any pressure, because she is not a biologist and it is normal not to know sloths. The fact is that we haven't realized all the knowledge needed to prepare our children. What should we do next? Forget it if you don't know?

Sincerity is just an attitude, not a solution to the problem. Next, changchang's mother took changchang to look up relevant information on the computer and found the answer step by step, and showed her pictures of anime sloths and real sloths. My understanding is that the process of finding answers is also the process of children's learning.

Tip 5: Children learn while playing.

For children, learning is a happy thing, especially for children. As parents, there is no need to take the so-called study seriously. "Come on, baby, let's read ancient poems." "What is the word your mother taught you?" In this case, it's best to talk less and don't let children take learning as a task. No one likes to take on so many tasks, and neither do children. Learning is a child's natural ability. Let them study naturally and happily.

Even learning activities such as literacy can completely start from children's interests. Zhuang Zhuang's mother never took the initiative to teach Zhuang Zhuang to read, but when he was more than five years old, he often knew almost all the words. At first, Zhuang Zhuang's mother was very surprised: "Where did you meet?" He said, "You tell me stories every night, and I will know by reading the words in the book." And his favorite comics. Zhuang Zhuang's mother found that he also read the subtitles at the bottom and would write them down. So "Kirin" appeared in the cartoon. When he passed a hotel called "Golden Lion Forest", he recognized the most difficult word "Lin".

Reggio education, which is popular in Europe, emphasizes children's natural interest and motivation in learning, their interest in activities and work and the attraction of activities themselves.

For example, if some children are interested in cars, they may be very concerned about cars for a period of time. At this time, parents can catch his interest in time, enter from the topic that he is easy to get excited or react, and buy books related to cars for their children. Around the car, build a gas station and a garage with children with building blocks or any materials ... children's knowledge about cars will be greatly expanded. Imitate driving, say a children's song about cars smoothly, etc. And guide children to learn actively and creatively in a lively and interesting way, instead of learning step by step according to the learning process defined by adults in advance.

Tip 6: Let the children find their own answers.

Mr. Ye Xiaokai, the author of Miracle in Classroom 56, has been teaching in the same classroom of the same school for 20 years. His students are all from immigrant countries where English is not their mother tongue, and most of them are poor. However, Mr. Ye Xiaokai led them to create many miracles. For example, their national test scores were among the best in the United States, and some of them entered Harvard and other prestigious schools. It is no accident that outstanding students can be produced in batches within a period of time. Where's Rafe's secret?

Although the educational concept is important, many people also admire Rafe's "six stages of moral cultivation", but I appreciate some learning methods mentioned by him more. For example, there is a special chapter in his book about how to learn reading, writing, mathematics, history, art and economy.

Teaching children to learn is not just a teacher's job, parents can do it completely, and they don't have to do it deliberately. Life has given us many opportunities. For example, whenever children ask us questions, do we give them answers directly?

One day, changchang suddenly said, "When you eat, your mouth and teeth are eating. What's your tongue doing? " This answer can actually be easily told to her, but changchang's mother didn't speak. She handed her a crisp jujube, put it on her lips first, then on her teeth, and finally let her lick it with her tongue. Chang Chang suddenly realized, saying, "The tongue can taste."

If you tell her the answer directly, it will be easy. However, teaching children how to learn and think is more important than directly spreading knowledge points. This is the truth that it is better to teach people to fish than to teach them to fish.

Tip 7: Let children experience success.

Success can become a habit, so can failure. The joy of success will encourage them to continue their studies, while the gloom of failure will at least affect children's confidence. We can't expect our children to succeed forever, especially for some difficult things, but we can try to do some work.

The first is not to set goals beyond the child's mental development. Someone once told me that her children are not interested in reading at all, and they throw away any books after a while. I asked her how old the child was, and she said, two years old.

We can't expect a two-year-old child to read a book from beginning to end with relish like an adult. It is difficult for such a big child to read independently. If we look further, the length of time a child can concentrate is directly related to his age. Generally speaking, children aged five or six can persist for about 10 minute, and children aged seven or eight can persist for 15 minute. If a two-year-old child is forced to study for half a day, the final result can only be that the child feels that reading is a very painful thing.

Secondly, the steps can be properly decomposed so that children can experience small successes. I still remember when I was a child, my teacher usually told us that we could write out the steps to solve the problem. Even if we don't get all the answers correctly in the end, at least we can get the steps, and so can children's learning. If possible, instead of letting children solve a big problem, it is better to break down a complex problem into several small problems. There is a picture book called Taste, which is about a child who is very resistant to painting because he can't draw at all. The teacher encouraged him to draw anything at will. He casually clicked a point on the paper, and the teacher said solemnly, "Please sign your name." Frame his painting. Seeing that his "work" was so valued, the child was surprised and encouraged, and fell in love with painting from then on.

We can't cultivate a painter's delusion in one breath, but we can be the one who encourages children to draw the first point.

0 to 3 years old, what is the focus of education? Is it the so-called jumping at the starting line? Not necessarily! Just like driving a car, at the beginning, we have to wait patiently for all relevant parts to enter the working state before refueling, instead of giving a kick at the beginning of development power. The car will not skip the program because we are impatient and immediately enter the galloping state. The same is true of children's early education. Parents must help them complete the initial startup procedure. Any behavior that encourages children is only to satisfy their vanity for a while.

Study taboo

You were not born to learn. Self-confidence is the prerequisite for children to do anything well. No matter how they study, we can't dampen their confidence first, otherwise no amount of remedial classes can solve the problem.

If you get a score of 100, I'll buy it for you ... material stimulation may be effective occasionally, but in the long run, it is difficult to become the motivation for children to learn. As long as children study on their own initiative, no external temptation can affect them.

If you don't study hard, you can only sweep the streets and study to become a talent in the future, but it doesn't necessarily mean that you can't become a talent without studying hard. If children study well, we don't need to set learning against all so-called menial jobs. If children don't study well, why give them a future too early? I once heard a mother-daughter conversation with my own ears. The little girl didn't know what she had done wrong when she went to the toilet. Her mother said, "You can't go to a good primary school or a good middle school. If you can't go to a good middle school, you can't go to a good university. If you can't go to a good university, you can't find a good job. If you can't find a good job, you will be finished for life. " The little girl couldn't understand how her future was so illogically decided in the bathroom.

Why don't you study that and stop taking the exam? This is entirely based on exam-oriented education. But in fact, children's future knowledge composition is not exactly the same as the book knowledge learned in school. What we have to do is to help children understand that learning is a lifelong habit, otherwise the end of the exam is the end of learning.

As long as you study hard, don't worry about anything else. Even if children's learning tasks are already heavy, we don't need to deliberately discourage their interest in other things, otherwise one day we will suddenly find that we have created a bookworm ourselves.