The more you try to maintain the existence of the ego, the more you are afraid of death, and the more you can complete the process of self-identity, you will find that the ego is actually connected with the ego and become more calm.
Mr. Wu has published more than ten books, among which the most healing one is The Body Know the Answer.
He thinks that he can write such a book, and there is an important turning point. That is, in 28, after he started a series of courses such as hypnosis, he found that his body is so sensitive that it is more reliable than his mind.
He still remembers that when he signed the book for sale, the most frequently used phrase was "Listen to your body".
He also planned a second book with a good title, which is called Metaphor of Body. In fact, all chapters have appeared in this psychology class, such as metaphor of eating, metaphor of breathing, metaphor of body temperature and so on.
In the process of deepening the understanding of this topic, he often thinks of Rumi's poem:
This part has been discussing the topic of "choice", but how do we know whether our choice is right or wrong, good or bad, and is there a measuring tool?
Teacher Wu believes that the body is an instrument for measuring choices. However, the body looks so ordinary that it is easy for people to ignore it. Only in the face of some life-and-death events can they wake themselves up.
He once interviewed an old man who had recovered from liver cancer. He had snow-white hair and excellent skin, and he was as handsome as a peacock.
The old man was diagnosed with liver cancer in the early 198s. At that time, a doctor told him that he only had a few months, but the old man made a series of "choices" and finally recovered.
Two of these choices impressed him deeply:
First, he found that different doctors had different opinions about his illness, which made his mood very turbulent.
So, he chose to simply consult a large number of medical literature by himself. He found that there were cases in which patients with liver cancer were cured. Such patients usually chose to undergo cutting surgery, so he finally decided to go this way.
secondly, he deeply reflected on his life.
Looking back on his life, he found that his heart was always full of resentment because of unfair treatment. He thought it had something to do with his liver cancer, so he decided to let go of these resentment, and he did the same.
In short, he actively cooperated with the treatment and faced life positively. Later, the liver cancer was completely cured. Moreover, he still goes for an examination every year, actively cooperates with treatment and faces life. These two attitudes have never changed.
There may be a similar story around you. A person faced with the threat of physical death caused by a serious illness suddenly woke up and began to take a completely different attitude towards life. Then his body, mental outlook and life changed greatly.
For a person, physical death should be regarded as the biggest impermanence, but facing this impermanence directly may make a person reflect on his choice and live new possibilities.
People have very complicated and contradictory attitudes towards the relationship among body, mind and spirituality. In consultation, Mr. Wu often meets visitors and says to him, "My emotional problems are all caused by my body and have nothing to do with my psychological process."
For example, a visitor suffering from manic depression has really reached the point where he has to take medication to control his emotions, but he tends to think that all his emotional problems are caused by drugs.
Especially when his psychiatrist sometimes tries to change the dosage of his drugs, he will classify all the mood swings in this period as the change of the dosage of drugs.
According to psychoanalysis, this is a classic self-defense mechanism, which classifies unbearable emotions as the material factor of drugs, and avoids facing up to self-weakness and hatred in relationships.
For example, this visitor, when we can discuss his emotional fluctuations in detail, we will see that he is avoiding all information that will destroy his narcissism, mainly using the self-defense mechanism of "denial".
Cut all the negative information that destroys narcissism, so that my mind, ego 1, can't remember this information at all.
But in consultation with him, when they can discuss it in detail, he will reproduce this information and be seen by him.
Let's take another example. In a consultation, the visitor said that as a leader, he often got stuck in his work, and when they tried to explore his inner feelings, their consultation also got stuck, and it was almost impossible to go on.
at this time, he said, let's change the topic, which is also the method he uses in the company. When he gets stuck, he will jump to the topic intentionally or unintentionally.
Teacher Wu told him that this is an important moment, so let's just stay here for a while. The specific method was given to him. They all closed their eyes and relaxed and quiet for a while.
It was after hugging and accepting this jam and being quiet for a while that he had a very delicate awareness.
He said that he has many wonderful experiences and ideas, and he hopes to reproduce them in other situations 1%, but this is always frustrated.
For example, in a meeting, when he finds that he can't reproduce it perfectly, he will be extremely disappointed, and then he will get stuck.
it must be clarified that when he said "1%", he did not describe it, but he really wanted it.
This is an extended expression of omnipotence narcissism, and manic-depressive patients do have all kinds of cravings for omnipotence narcissism, and they will inevitably encounter extreme frustration.
Moreover, even if he is so aware, he will still think it is possible. As long as he works harder and others cooperate, it will be possible.
But this is actually impossible. "People can't step into the same river twice".
So they did some discussion and found that there was nothing wrong with his knowledge, so he soon realized that his perfect desire was doomed to be impossible.
But when he no longer yearns for 1% reappearance, but can live in the present, he may create some new wonderful moments, which are probably more wonderful than before.
Teacher Wu thinks this is a very fine example, which shows that his mood swings are not caused by drugs, but by his inner activities.
hearing this, you may have such a question. why do people produce this self-defense mechanism? Because people tend to hold the logic that
drugs are not "me", when I think drugs have caused some problems, I will protect my narcissism, and if I realize that these problems are caused by inner activities, it is "me", so my narcissism will be damaged.
Let me give you another example to illustrate this problem. There was a young man who suffered from severe insomnia. After consultation, he soon found that he had a serious Oedipus complex, which was the key reason for his insomnia.
But it is complicated and difficult to discuss this psychological problem. He said to me many times: Teacher Wu, is there any way, hypnosis or drugs, that can bypass my psychological activities and directly cure my insomnia?
Before consulting Mr. Wu, he had consulted more than a dozen counselors, tried hypnosis and took some sleeping pills, all of which had had some effects, but ultimately failed.
He also wants to use this logic: My insomnia is a purely material factor, not caused by my complicated heart. In short, it is not my fault. You see, I basically want to bypass the question "This is my choice".
The meaning of life is to choose. Once you choose, there will be loopholes. Even the more you choose, the more loopholes there will be, and there will be dead energy hidden in the loopholes. Not choosing or making fewer choices is just like avoiding dead energy, but it will inevitably fall into a closed and passive state.
So, make a bold choice, throw yourself into the relationship you desire, unfold your life bravely, and at the same time, feel your body openly and feel this measuring instrument about choice.
if you choose love, you will experience it openly; If you choose hate, you will feel it completely, when your body is uncomfortable again and again. In addition to following science, you should seek medical advice in time, and you can also ask yourself if you made the wrong choice.
Mr. Wu believes that physical comfort and pain are only a preliminary signal. When you always respect the information of the body, you respect the "true self".
Then you may touch a more fundamental existence through your true self. At that time, although your body may be scarred, your mind will feel full and rich.
This will make you face impermanence calmly, because your mind will feel that there is an unspeakable constancy in the impermanence of all things.
The more unreal you are, the less live high you have, and the less you touch the greater being, the more you care about the death of your body.
There are many people who don't choose according to their own heart in their life, so they may be more afraid of physical deterioration and death, which will bring an ultimate torture: Are you worthy of this physical life?
1. The meaning of life is to choose. Once you choose, there will be loopholes. Even the more you choose, the more loopholes there will be, and there will be dead energy hidden in the loopholes. You can avoid making choices or making fewer choices, just like avoiding dead energy, but it will inevitably fall into a closed and passive state.
2. Make bold choices, throw yourself into all kinds of relationships you desire, bravely expand your life, and at the same time, feel your body openly and feel this measuring instrument about choice.
When you feel unwell again and again, you should not only follow the science, but also seek medical advice in time, and you can also ask yourself if you made a mistake.
3. When you always respect the body information, you respect the "real self" and then you may touch the more fundamental existence through the real self.
The more unreal it is, the less live high there is, and the more untouched it is, the more concerned it will be about the death of the body, which will bring the ultimate question of "whether it is worthy of this life".
I found that I don't know when I became brave and bold, and I was willing to show my bad side, that is, I was more confident than before.
I was afraid to move before. It's like seeing other people suffer tragic things. In the past, I would find a place to hide and laugh quietly, but now I can laugh loudly.
I used to feel like a rabbit curled up, afraid of everything, and inclined to shrink myself and hide in the corner. Now that I think about it, I should feel the hostility from the outside world.
But fortunately, I am the eldest daughter, grandfather, grandmother, father, mother, and then I. Although my family has never been very good, I have always been loved and encouraged because I am the only child in my family.
when I wrote this, I was suddenly moved. My nose was sour and I almost shed tears. This makes me willing to express myself even though I have spoken many times and my motivation to reach out will be ignored and rejected.
I haven't been married until now. One of the reasons is that I don't want to choose, because if I choose a tree, I will give up a forest. When choosing, I always see the lost opportunity cost.
but always afraid of choice, never put into the relationship. I think this is a very regrettable thing for me. I missed it for so long, but fortunately I saw it.
when I die, my epitaph will also say: I came, I lived and I loved.
Thank you for your appreciation. The point of view comes from Wu Zhihong's Psychology Class. Do you have any other points of view on the content of this article? Welcome to leave a message and discuss with me.