Selected humorous jokes 300 words (popular articles) 1. What is the second English sentence in the world? From 1:58 to 2:02? Please read it out loud: two to two to two. (@ 丫丫丫丫丫丫丫丫丫丫丫丫丫丫)
Several people are talking about Su Dongpo. Xiao Wang said: I like Dongpo's poems. ? Lao Li said:? I like Dongpo's Fu. ? Then Lao Li's daughter-in-law came and said, I love it too. ? Lao Li heard that she likes Dongpo meat best! ?
When eating, my husband complained that his wife's cooking was too bad. The wife said:? You married a wife, not a cook! ? When sleeping at night, my wife said, there are strange noises upstairs. Go up and have a look. ? Husband said:? You married a husband, not a policeman! ?
A new sculpture was built in a school: a girl holds a book in her right hand and a pigeon in her left hand. School leaders openly solicited names from all the students in the school, and people responded in an endless stream. The names collected are varied and varied, but one of them has the highest voice? Reading is of great use! ! !
On a business trip to Xi 'an, a Dalian man bragged about how good Dalian was, then said that Dalian held a grand centennial celebration, and then asked the next person:? Are there any celebrations for the centenary of Xi 'an? Several Xi 'an buddies next to them were shocked. After a while, they forced out a sentence: I remember I had one when Xi Jian 'an was built 600 years ago? Playing the prince in the bonfire? Right?
6. I went to the grave yesterday and went to work today, and my mood is getting heavier every day. ........
7. Acting girls can't get married: you don't know whether you live or perform. Photography Department: Turn on the light when you sleep and take a group of the most unusual photos for you. Art Department: I want you to be a nude model every day. Economics Department: She will squeeze every penny out of you. Chemistry Department: Beware of sulfuric acid disfigurement when quarreling. Department of Political Science and Law: Divorce and property division can't beat her. Physics department: I heard that they connected the wires to the toilet and killed people. (@ No.1 in history)
8. I know a person who writes constellations. Every week, more than a dozen newspapers publish her Fortune Weekly. With this alone, she can earn at least 30 thousand a month, and each fortune can be written in half an hour, which is very cost-effective. (@ Tumoto)
He was dumped by his girlfriend six years ago because his job was unstable. He was dumped by his girlfriend five years ago because he had no room. He was dumped by his girlfriend four years ago because he didn't have a car. He was dumped by his girlfriend three years ago because he had no taste in clothes. He was dumped by his girlfriend two years ago because he couldn't do housework. I was dumped by my girlfriend a year ago because I was not gentle. This year, he was handsome, rich, with a house and a car, gentle and considerate, and omnipotent at home, but he was dumped. Because no one believes that he is not gay.
10. At present, there is an embarrassing mistake in the British royal wedding stamps issued by New Zealand. The middle line of a stamp just connects Prince William and the future Princess Kate? Middleton is separated. This stamp with a face value of NZD 5.8 can be torn in the middle and used as two stamps. Half of the stamps with Middleton's head are worth NZ $2.4, and half of the stamps with Prince William's head are worth NZ $3.4. The design is wet. You are enjoying the moment when you tear open the stamp.
300-word humorous joke (classic) 1. If you refuse me, then I'll lie on the tracks. ? Then let me think again. The last bus arrived early today! ?
2. The pressure of salary comes from: former colleagues, old classmates, ex-girlfriends, ex-boyfriends, ex-boyfriends of current girlfriends, children of parents and friends. ? The Law of Modern Life Stress (@ Weibo Joke)
A man can't find a job because of his short stature! One day, the man came home and said excitedly to his wife. I got a job! ? The wife was overjoyed and asked. That's great. What job? The man said: sell! The boss said that when I stopped in the room, the house looked much bigger! ? (@ China Humor King)
A company in Grauben, Switzerland invented a new technology: turning ashes into diamonds. In the future, the ashes of the deceased can be buried in the urn and worn on the finger forever. The processing process is to purify the ashes first, and then turn them into gems with a compressor under the conditions of ultra-high temperature and ultra-high pressure. Turn your lover's ashes into a ring and put it on your ring finger, so that love will accompany you all your life and never part. . . . . (@ homesick)
5. Once upon a time, there was a bean. His wife went out of the wall and he became a mung bean. One day, he committed suicide, jumped down from the fifth floor, shed a lot of blood and became a red bean. It has been squeezed dry and turned into soybeans; The wound was scarred and finally turned into black beans; He escaped the disaster and realized that he had joined the AV industry and became a edamame. Later, he saw through the world, resolutely came out and finally became a pea?
6. A woman named Foucault died more than ten times. A foreigner did not believe in evil and married her. Why isn't she dead? -Nike
7. A businessman went abroad on business and took the opportunity to see a striptease performance in the evening. When he returned to the hotel, he found his eyes hurt. I went to the hospital the next day and told the doctor about my illness. Doctor:? You don't need to prescribe medicine. Just blink next time there is a similar situation. ?
8. One more day of class, and then three more days off, that's no holiday! ! ! ! ! Damn it, think I'm retarded! ! ! ! !
9. Monthly salary of 2k, responsible for attendance; 5k, responsible for the completion rate on time; 8k, responsible for quality; 12k, responsible for the mood of the small team; 16k, responsible for paying the rate; 20k, think about how to keep your job with money; 40k, reserved department; 100k, keeping most departments; 100k+, considering how to create opportunities for people to survive; 500k, optimization field.
10. Buy a watch with your wife. My wife chose a small and exquisite imported high-grade watch and got more than 1000. I quickly advised her: this watch is too thin and your eyes are not good. My wife interrupted me. As long as others have a good eye! ?
One day, my husband came home from work early, and as soon as he entered the room, he saw his wife lying naked in bed. Husband asked:? Why are you naked? The wife replied:? I have nothing to wear! ? Husband:? Didn't you just go to the department store yesterday? Husband said as he opened the closet, turned over his clothes and said, bought a bunch of clothes, shoes, pants and socks? Oh, my god, you even bought back the male clerk.
One of my colleagues came to work with swollen nose and eyes. I asked him what happened. He said: I was going to her house to kiss my girlfriend yesterday, and she said no, her period is coming! I wonder: What is the relationship between kissing and menstruation? Colleague said:? That's what I thought, so I kissed my girlfriend. As a result, a woman broke in, and when she saw me, she gave me a blast, saying why I bullied her niece ...? (@ yayaya yaya)
3. The fiancee whispered. Honey. Will you still love me as you do now after marriage? After careful consideration, the fiance said, of course, I like married women best. ?
4. Baidu blushed, and his forehead was blue. Explain that stealing books is not stealing? Stealing books! ? Will IT people be stolen? Succession is hard to understand. What? Safe haven? , what? Bottom line? And so on, causing everyone to laugh.
There is a piece of land called China. You can only live on it for 70 years when you are alive. You can only lie on it for 20 years after you die.
6. On one occasion, the husband was preparing meals for his wife. The clumsy husband accidentally broke a bowl. He said shyly, I didn't expect an earthquake! ? As he spoke, the husband picked up another bowl, but the bowl fell to the ground again. This time, the husband blushed and muttered: How can there be aftershocks! ?
7. If you kiss a woman with a heartbeat of 250, it must be the first kiss. If you kiss a woman and her heart rate reaches 180, it must be cheating. If you kiss a woman and her heart rate reaches 120, it must be in love. If you kiss a woman and her heart rate reaches 80, it must be her wife. If you kiss a woman and her heart rate reaches 30, it must be Xifeng. If you kiss a woman and her heart rate reaches 0, it must be a heart attack. (@ lascivious life)
8. Kidney of four virtual bosses, official draft, tears of miss, table of statistics bureau. Four rich women, leaders' money, laid-off workers and researchers. The four big students didn't know that the official was small until they arrived in Beijing, that the building was small until they arrived in Shanghai, that there was little money when they arrived in Shenzhen, and that their wives were old when they arrived in the box. Big four? Can't say? Bull market quilt cover, honey soaking, stolen money, Viagra is invalid.
9. What are these days? Brother Fang? At the same time? Lost brother? Finally showed up in person? He seems to have gone from being at a loss to being depressed. (ps: voice-over, some people want to be red and worried; Some people don't want to be red, but if they are red, they are equally distressed. Summary: Being alive is a kind of distress in itself. Your task is to make it not upset, which may also be the meaning of living.