Matthew Richard

Ph.D. in molecular biology at Pasteur Institute in Paris, a student of Nobel Prize winner Swarth Jacob. From 65438 to 0972, he gave up his career as a scientist and became a monk. It has been nearly 50 years since then, and he has been praised as "one of the happiest people in the world" by the father of EQ. His works have many bestsellers, among which Monks and Philosophers sold 350,000 copies in France.

First, what is happiness?

Second, happiness can be practiced.

Third, the catalyst for internal progress.

Fourth, gradually remove the toxins from your heart.

Five, the factors that stimulate happiness

After monks and philosophers, Matthew Richard pays attention to the center of human life: happiness.

After a long and rigorous experiment in neuroscience, 800 scientists agreed that happiness is a skill that can be trained and learned!

This book is based on these frontier achievements of positive psychology, combined with the author's profound knowledge of philosophy and Buddhism, to provide you with the door to true happiness.

1. Deeply understand the meaning of happiness and pain;

2. Master the method of transforming pain;

3. Know what factors can stimulate happiness.

1. People fail to kill time, but let time kill their whole lives.

It is our own temperament that keeps us in the same position again and again.

Unless we restrict it passively or actively, there is no boundary for inner freedom.

Upper guide bearing

When you read the title of Learn to Be Happy, what do you think of as "happiness"?

Like sociologists, define happiness as "the degree of love for your present life"? Or do you think that happiness is "the joy of truth" like St. Augustine? Still smell the marketing chicken soup, with a questioning attitude, want to see what other cliches can be said?

In view of the serious abuse of the word "happiness", we must first talk about the definition.

First, what is happiness?

According to the definition of this book, happiness is a profound and fulfilling feeling of life produced by a sound mind. It is not only the best state of human existence, but also the way people interpret the world.

1. Happiness is looking inward, not outward.

There is a proverb in Tibet: Looking for happiness from the outside is like looking for sunshine in a shady cave.

A friend once told Matthew Richard that when he saved enough 1 million dollars, he would quit his job, enjoy the rest of his life and live happily. 10 years later, that friend's net worth reached $3 million. When he was asked if he was happy, the answer was simple and clear: "I wasted 10 years."

Does this story look familiar? We also invest so much in material things, but ignore the inner state that determines the quality of life. Wealth, pleasure, title and power are our ways to pursue happiness, but in the long journey, many people regard the method as the purpose and forget the happiness itself.

In teacher Fan's words, it is "to cover up mental laziness with material diligence". Seeking happiness blindly from external things is like filling water into a leaky broken bucket. It's all in the wrong way, in vain. True happiness, we should seek inward, understand the conditions of happiness and work hard to create, and we will enjoy happiness.

2. Happiness is inner enrichment.

Pessimists represented by Schopenhauer believe that when the pain is reduced, the gap that follows will be filled with so-called "happiness", and happiness is nothing more than a false calm between storms. Matthew Richard, author of this book, disagrees with this statement.

During a trip, Matthew Richard endured high fever, crowded trains in India and 36 hours of torture. Unfortunately, his laptop and a month's work were robbed. A few hours after the lights went out, he curled up in his sleeping bag and listened to the passengers cursing the thief crazily. Suddenly, he found himself relaxed, and the harsh environment was in sharp contrast with his happy mood. He said, "This funny feeling makes me laugh in the dark."

The "letting go" at that moment is a profound inner satisfaction, which has nothing to do with the external environment. With the disturbance of the outside world, inner peace can still play a role.

Matthew Richard has met many wise friends in the past decades. They have experienced the ups and downs of life with inner peace and happiness, and their stories are scattered in this book.

The author said frankly: "our purpose is not to make people admire these outstanding examples ... I hope everyone can understand a truth: if the wise can be happy, then happiness is possible."

3. Happiness is the way to interpret the world.

After the rainstorm, Xue Qian Temple was muddy, but the author's two friends had totally different reactions to it. A friend of mine walked to the edge of the stagnant water and stepped on the brick path, complaining every step of the way. Another friend named Raphael hummed a ditty, jumped from brick to brick and sang "Hey! Hey! Hey, "finally jumped up on the dry ground and shouted," What fun! " Her eyes were full of joy, and then she said, "A heavy rain washed away the dust."

Although the world is hard to change, we can change the way we look at it. Because happiness is a reflection of your inner state, how you look at the world determines whether you are happy or not.

Tagore wrote: "We misunderstood the world, but said that the world deceived us." We are used to treating the external world as a series of independent individuals and endowing them with various characteristics, and think that these are their essential characteristics.

In Buddhism, this is called "ignorance", which refers to not knowing the true colors of things, and also to not understanding the causal laws that govern happiness and pain.

Second, happiness can be practiced.

The author says that happiness, like muscle, can be acquired through long-term practice. This statement is true!

In recent years, scientists have gradually realized that the brain is plastic, that is, the brain constantly responds to our experiences, and realizes its own continuous evolution by establishing new neural connections, constantly strengthening existing neural connections, or creating new neurons.

1. Long-term meditation can reshape the brain

In 2000, Matthew Richard, the author of this book, paul ekman, Francisco Varela, Richard Davison and other famous neurologists and psychologists started several research projects, mainly focusing on those who have been practicing meditation for at least 20 years. Matthew's extremely special cross-border experience made him the first subject, and the test lasted three hours!

In the subsequent experiments, they screened out four meditation methods: compassionate meditation, fixed meditation, open meditation, and meditation with mental images. The experiment requires meditators to wear sensors and pass EEG and functional magnetic resonance imaging. The test results show that:

(1) There is a significant difference between beginners and professional meditators.

(2) In compassionate meditation, the gamma wave of the meditator who practiced for a long time increased obviously, indicating that the brain showed high frequency activity. This phenomenon has never been reported in the literature of neuroscience before. )

(3) The longer the meditator practices, the more gamma brain waves he produces.

Sharon Begley, a science writer, commented: This study reveals a fascinating possibility that the brain, like other parts of the body, can change consciously. Just as aerobic exercise shapes muscles, mental training can also shape brain gray matter.

The meditator's insight is amazing.

In another experiment, Paul ekman developed a facial expression testing system.

This test system uses expression images to express various emotions and displays them on the screen continuously and quickly. The first image displayed is an expressionless face, then an expressionless face is displayed, which only stays on the screen for 1/30 seconds, and then it is replaced by an expressionless face, and so on. He also used this testing system in meditation experiments.

He tested two western meditators who had been practicing for a long time. The results show that their ability to recognize subtle expressions is better than that of the previous 5000 subjects, and also better than that of police, lawyers, psychiatrists, customs officials, judges and even intelligence personnel. This means that these two meditators have unusual empathy and insight.

The meditator's surprised reflex disappeared.

The frightening reflex is emitted from the brain stem. Judging from the current development of science, human beings have not deliberately controlled it, and even snipers who practice marksmanship every day can't stop their fear reflex.

The intensity of scare reflex reflects the degree to which people are dominated by negative emotions, such as fear, anger, sadness and disgust.

When Aikman took the first meditator to the laboratory to test his fear reflex, he found that "the meditator's fear reflex almost completely disappeared." According to him, although some physiological indexes (pulse, sweating rate and blood pressure) of the meditators changed when the explosion occurred, the muscles on their faces did not vibrate.

This shows that the explosion affected the meditator's physiology, but had no effect on his mind and mood.

Summary: Cognitive scientists believe that the significance of these studies is not to prove the extraordinary ability of several meditators, but to make us rethink the potential impact of mental training on developing positive emotions.

Happiness and emotional balance are skills that can be mastered through learning, and the mysterious meditation method is just the beginning.

Third, the catalyst for internal progress.

In order to be happy, we must understand the mechanism of mind operation and gain insight into the essence of everything. This chapter draws lessons from Buddhist thought, making pain a catalyst for internal progress and providing a path for learning to be happy.

1. Two methods of introspection

Fundamentally speaking, people suffer because they misunderstand the nature of the world, which is mentioned in the first chapter, that is, ignorance.

So how can we get rid of ignorance? The author believes that introspection can help you get rid of the torture of ignorance in the following two ways:

Analysis requires us to honestly and systematically evaluate our own pain and harm to others, so as to understand what thoughts, words and behaviors will cause pain or enhance happiness.

Meditation, on the other hand, requires us to look up from the whirlpool of thoughts and observe our hearts calmly, just like watching our inner scenery and observing our deepest desires.

2. Psychological mechanism of pain

More than 2,500 years ago, the Buddha gave a lecture for the first time in Rokuyaon, outside varanasi, which contained four truths to describe how pain was transformed: suffering gathers to destroy the Tao.

Bitterness (the bitter fruit of the world) refers not only to obvious pain, but also to all kinds of subtle pain.

Gathering truth (bitter cause) is the idea of producing desire, malice, arrogance, ignorance and so on to poison oneself and others' lives.

Put out the truth (put out the bitter fruit)-people end the pain by eliminating the poison of these thoughts.

Authentic (the way to eliminate pain) is to eliminate the root of pain in various ways.

The author translated the four truths into a modern short poem of 16:

Understand pain

trace (back) to the source of sth

Practice hard

End the pain

Step 3 play a painful and positive role

When pain is inevitable, the best way is to make good use of it and make it a catalyst for progress. However, before that, we must first prevent anxiety and loss from occupying our hearts.

(1) Use the images in your mind: For example, we can imagine a drop of crystal clear manna seeping into the pain center and slowly dissolving until we feel happy inside. This drop of dew slowly spread all over the body and the pain disappeared.

After a comprehensive study of 50 scientific literatures, the author and his team found that in 85% of cases, people can enhance their ability to endure pain through psychological methods. Among these methods, mental image method is the most effective. 265,438+0% of patients with chronic migraine said that their symptoms had been significantly improved, while only 7% of patients in the control group who did not train thought that the pain had been relieved.

(2) Awakening the inner love and mercy: Compassion enables us to see the pain of others from our own pain, and then the oppressive feeling of pain is relieved, so we no longer ask ourselves painfully: "Why am I unlucky?"

(3) Explore the inner strength: When the physical pain is unbearable or the emotion is extremely painful, we can "watch" this painful experience intently. Then we will find that the more we pay attention to pain, the more vague it becomes. In the end, we will experience a kind of consciousness through pain, which is constant and transcends pain and happiness. Then we will relax and put the pain in pure awareness for a while.

Fourth, gradually remove the toxins from your heart.

Happiness is not a whitewashed false experience against adversity, and if it is, it will not last long. Happiness should be the antidote to the poison in our hearts. Only when we are free from blindness and troubles can we get lasting inner happiness.

1. I insist

We always think that there is a real and independent "I" in the world, and our life is more valuable than others. The idea is "I hold". I think "I" is the center of the world.

We must thoroughly introspect before we can find out what lies behind the false "I": "I" is a conventional name, which cannot exist independently, and can only rely on consciousness, body and environment.

Matthew has a friend who rushed to Nepal to attend the Dharma Conference. She sat cross-legged on the futon, adjusted her posture slightly, trying to sit more comfortably, when suddenly someone punched her in the back. Afterwards, she said to Matthew, "I was uneasy for a whole hour because of this punch." I can't figure out why a Buddhist is so rude to me who came to worship Buddha together! " Later, I learned that although I was troubled for so long, my physical pain soon disappeared, and it was only the injured' me' that made me uncomfortable. The body hurts 1 minute, but the consciousness hurts for 59 minutes! "

think

When we feel that the whole world is against us, every thought, every encounter, and even the existence of the world itself has become a source of pain.

How to prevent annoying thoughts from appearing again? We need to take a closer look inside:

The first thing we notice is the ideas that have been flowing and we don't know. No matter what we are thinking, the mind has a basic consciousness. Even though the mind rarely stops working and thinks nothing, the basic consciousness still maintains its cognitive ability.

This simple and open state without any distractions is called pure consciousness. Thought originates from pure consciousness and blends into it, just as waves are born in the sea and return to the sea. Knowing this truth, we lose most of our ability to disturb our thoughts. This method needs constant practice to be skillfully used.

3. Emotion

Negative emotions can distort our view of reality and prevent us from seeing the truth. Positive emotional and psychological factors are often based on an accurate understanding of reality, which can improve the clarity of our thinking and the accuracy of our reasoning. Therefore, it is particularly important to distinguish between positive emotions and negative emotions.

The best way to analyze emotions is introspection and introspection. The first step is to determine how emotions are generated. Then, we should pay special attention to the changes of our emotions and carefully observe the difference between negative emotions and positive emotions. This step is repeated, which is very important for changing the difficult mental state.

worry

Inner blindness will bring troubles, and troubles are the main source of pain. In order to get rid of troubles, we can practice our ability of insight into ignorance through three meditation methods.

(1) Confrontation: Neutralize negative emotions with a specific emotion. It's a bit like we use antitoxin serum to neutralize toxins or alkali to neutralize acids. For example, be patient with anger.

(2) Relief: The so-called relief is not to treat every trouble with a specific emotion, but to use a most basic method that works on all negative emotions. Buddhism often uses "emptiness" to see through negative emotions without any internal dynamic continuation. For example, at the moment when anger appears, immediately realize its vanity essence, immediately cut off anger, and prevent anger from constantly disturbing and suppressing the heart.

(3) Use: Use the positive elements in troubles to relieve troubles. For example, using the characteristics of anger to stimulate action will help us overcome difficulties.

yearn for

Schopenhauer said: "efforts come from lack or defect, from dissatisfaction with one's situation." Therefore, as long as the desire is not satisfied, it will be painful. "Desire endows its object with perfect intrinsic attributes, infinitely magnifies its advantages and narrows its shortcomings.

Studies have shown that the brain regions activated by "desire" are different from those activated by "love", which explains why:

A. Even if satisfying desires no longer produces pleasure, we still can't get rid of it and enter the state of "not liking but wanting".

B. We love someone or something, but we don't necessarily want to possess it.

Therefore, distinguishing between true love and possession dependence can reduce the troubles caused by desire. What is true love? We love others not because they will bring us benefits, but because of the person himself.

Five, the factors that stimulate happiness

Eliminating sadness and depression does not mean that we will automatically get happiness and happiness, and restraining pain does not necessarily bring happiness. Therefore, on the road to true happiness, we should not only get rid of negative emotions, but also strive to cultivate positive emotions.

In the last chapters of this book, we introduced several happy grips. Come and have a look!

altruism

The research of Martin seligman, the founder of positive psychology, shows that the happiness of doing good without asking for anything in return gives people a deep sense of satisfaction. But at the same time, altruism and sense of belonging are highly related. People are more willing to help friends or people who have something in common with themselves than strangers who have no contact.

modest and unassuming

Arrogants and narcissists always have illusions that conflict with reality, but these illusions are bound to be shattered. When people realize that their expectations can't be realized, they will feel empty and hate themselves. Modesty can avoid this unnecessary pain.

optimistic

Numerous studies show that optimists will get better grades in exams, get better performance at work and have better interpersonal relationships. They live longer, are in better health, and have a greater chance to survive the trauma after operation. They accept the reality and know how to quickly find the positive side in misfortune, learn from it, find ways to deal with it, or start a new plan.

4. prime time

Creation, construction, achievement and selfless dedication to the happiness of others are all prime time. Introspection can help us get back to our prime time. How can we get back the prime time through introspection?

First of all, we must clearly judge what is the most important thing in life.

Then, prioritize and determine what is most important and what is less important.

5. Internalized flow

Through practice, we can gradually internalize flow and learn how to stay in normal consciousness easily and permanently without external force.

6. Morality

Letting others suffer will also bring us immediate or long-term pain; Making others happy will eventually bring happiness to yourself. Morality also determines whether we are happy or not.

7.centrifuges

Many people believe that separation and abandonment in Buddhism means asceticism and discipline. In fact, what you give up is not giving up those things that make people happy. What we give up is the endless troubles that plague us. In order to do this, we should find and confirm the source of pain and pay attention to it from time to time in our daily life.

For example, knowing that you are neither perfect nor absolutely happy is not a sign of lack of self-confidence, but a very healthy understanding, which makes us re-examine what is most important in life.

8. Face death calmly

It is best to adopt a calm, selfless and detached attitude when dying. We can't wait until the last minute to prepare for death. That's not the best time to start a spiritual journey.

Matthew's best friend, Francisco Varela, an authoritative expert in cognitive science, confided to the author a few weeks before his death from cancer. In recent years, he has been experiencing pure consciousness almost all the time, and his physical pain seems to be far away from him, so he no longer disturbs his inner peace, and only needs to maintain a minimum amount of painkillers. His wife Amy later told Matthew that he had been in the peace brought by meditation until the last moment before his death.

conclusion

My parents' generation often get together to vomit: I have been busy for most of my life, as if I have got nothing! Indeed, in that barren era, people made too much efforts to the outside world and put off happiness indefinitely.

Now the material and spiritual conditions are dazzling. Do we still have to pin our happiness on external things and get lost in the ocean of desire? Don't!

Both modern science and ancient wisdom show that happiness is an end in itself, and we can directly shape happiness by seeking inward.