A mother who grows up with her children

The New Oriental Oriental Selection Live Broadcast Room, which has become popular across the Internet recently, finally managed to see the light of day under the leadership of Yu Minhong.

Why did Lao Yu still firmly stick to New Oriental when facing the end of New Oriental’s education and training after the double reduction?

Looking through Lao Yu’s short videos before, I saw a piece of content like this:

Only by knowing yourself and facing your shortcomings can you continue to make progress!

Although we cannot become people like Lao Yu, as mothers, we can also be a more shining individual while recognizing ourselves.

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You can forget everything but yourself.

If you ask a child, what is your favorite fruit? He would answer without thinking.

If you ask an adult the same question, he may not answer it quickly. Why is this?

Adults seem to be oblivious to this issue.

Because no one has asked about it for a long time, and I haven’t thought about it for myself for a long time. What is it that I like and what do I want to be?

After leaving campus, for the sake of independence, I began to accept the first job that did not allow for rebellion. Then, in order to build a happy family, I learned to observe people’s emotions and win a job that could support the family, and then later gave birth to children. Taking care of my parents and committing to the exhausting social life have to continue to hold on.

When you grow up slowly from childhood and learn how to be in society.

You may gradually forget yourself and the "joy", "anger", "sorrow" and "joy" that you should have as an independent individual.

Some people may say: Why must we pursue a more thorough understanding of ourselves?

Can’t I not think about these problems and just live my life peacefully?

In fact, if you are not self-aware enough, it is often difficult to develop yourself and even harder to live happily.

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What is the true understanding of self.

Knowing oneself is called "Self-awareness" in psychology, which refers to a clear recognition, thorough understanding and reasonable evaluation of oneself, which is what we call "Self-awareness" every day. Self-knowledge."

Tasha Eurich proposed 7 perspectives of self-awareness, namely: values, passion, ambition, environment, behavior patterns, reactions, and influence.

Knowing yourself is the search and summary of the above content.

We can also summarize it from two dimensions, namely:

1) Who am I?

This is the judgment of "me now". Mainly include:

Abilities:

What am I good at? What kind of things are you not good at doing?

Environment:

In what kind of environment and atmosphere will I feel more empowered and comfortable working in it?

Reaction:

When I encounter external stimuli, such as opportunities, risks, threats, emergencies, what are my emotions and subconscious reactions generally like? What strategies do I usually use to solve problems?

2) Where do I come from?

This is the judgment of "the fundamental me", which mainly includes:

Beliefs:

What deep-rooted ideas do I have? What do I believe in the laws and laws of this external world? What don’t you believe?

Values:

What are my principles and what cannot be done? Which ones are good and which ones are bad? How do I judge whether something is good or bad?

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How to know yourself?

The concept I have always advocated is to flexibly apply sensibility and rationality in life.

That is to say: use sensibility to provide materials and use reason to analyze.

To give a simple example: Like the previous question "What are you good at?", what is a better way?

It is not about recalling and thinking in the moment, but it needs to be accumulated consciously in normal times.

In other words: when you are exposed to various scenes and handle different things at work, you can immerse yourself more and feel:

I am doing this When you are working, do you feel happy or bored?

Am I curious to explore it further, or am I just business-like and uninterested?

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When I am doing this task, do I feel smooth and comfortable, or is it very difficult and I need to stop and think frequently?

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Can I enter a flow state naturally, or am I easily distracted and distracted?

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How do others evaluate my achievements? Are you very satisfied, or are you not satisfied enough and can barely use it?

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Answering these questions relies not on reason, but on emotion.

Don’t limit your emotions and feelings, but faithfully record the fluctuations in your heart and state, and ask yourself:

What emotions am I feeling now? What detail and link made me feel such an emotion?

In this process, you don’t need to think too much, you just need to focus on your feelings and thoughts, and record them faithfully.

Believe that your heart will not deceive yourself.

Of course, since people always have fluctuations in status, one or two records cannot mean anything.

It is best to turn this practice into a habit. You can do it every day when you complete your daily work, or when you review the project regularly, and ask yourself how you actually feel.

You can do more logs and reviews, which actually refers to records like this.

What do you do next? It is to use one's own rationality to process the materials collected by sensibility, and to think:

Is there any authenticity in these collected materials?

What kind of things and tasks will trigger my curiosity/pleasure/sense of accomplishment/boredom/difficulty/irritability...?

Can I summarize some simple rules to clarify my tendencies?

In other words: Perception collects raw materials about things and emotions, while rationality summarizes and refines these raw materials, and abstracts out rules one by one.

When using rationality to summarize, special attention should be paid to: Don’t be too immersed in the mindset of “Did I do something wrong again?” Instead, jump out and improve your own thinking. In terms of vision, try to "detach" yourself from "yourself at that moment" and use a higher angle to calmly overlook yourself.

What we have to do is to immerse ourselves in the outside world and detach ourselves from the inside.

Only by combining sensibility and rationality well and coordinating the relationship between the two can we have a clearer understanding of ourselves.

What is another very important point?

It is the collision between the self and the external world.

Yohji Yamamoto once said a very classic saying: "The thing 'self' is invisible. Only when it hits something else and bounces back can you understand 'self'.

So when you collide with strong things, terrible things, and high-level things, you will know what you are. This is the self. ”

What is a cognitive blind spot of many people. ? It means paying too much attention to oneself, thereby neglecting what "oneself" looks like in the eyes of others.

But in fact, our understanding of ourselves and others’ understanding of you often do not coincide with each other.

So, I often say, how to better find your strengths?

An effective way is: when chatting with others, ask about your impression in other people's minds to understand what others think of you - this is often better than your own opinion of yourself. More important and more useful.

For example:

If you use 3 words to describe me, which 3 words would you use? Why?

This can intuitively reflect your first impression in the minds of others, and is often the most intuitive and subconscious trait you show when interacting with others.

If you wanted to buy my time, what would you like me to do for you?

This can intuitively reflect other people's evaluation of you and help you understand other people's understanding and judgment of your abilities, strengths, and advantages.

Is there anything about me that you feel is not good enough? Are there any details that you wish I could do differently?

This can help you understand your impact on others, help you break your own cognitive blind spots, and understand the blind spots that you are not aware of or discover.

Of course, you don’t have to be so direct. Instead, you should ask “appropriately” according to the occasion and atmosphere. This will test your communication skills.

In short: Only by combining the interaction and connection between ourselves and the outside world can our understanding of "self" become more complete.

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How to make your own strategic planning?

Actually: Where am I going?

This is the judgment of "ideal me", which mainly includes:

Goal:

What kind of person do I want to be? What kind of specific life do I want to live?

When I do something, I feel very happy and satisfied, and it is easy to enter the flow? What results do I hope to achieve to prove myself?

How do I want others to evaluate me and address me? What identity do I want to use to get to know and communicate with others?

You may not have answers to these questions now, and you may not have definite, clear, or correct answers, but it doesn’t matter, take your time, after all, as mentioned above:

Know yourself , is originally a lesson that needs to be practiced throughout a lifetime.

Once you have a goal, you can make a plan.

Although sometimes your goals are uncertain and biased, it doesn’t matter, the plan is meant to be revised.

Just like I once read an article, someone divided his life into five-year nodes to complete his goals one by one.

Every 5 years, he defines his adult life, what kind of person he wants to be in this life, he will complete it in these 5 years, and the next 5 years will be another kind of person. Life.

Of course, your 5-year plan can be a goal, and it does not necessarily have to be like the above. You can experience a different life. You can follow a goal and complete it one by one in each of the 5 years.

Just like the five-year plan we often hear, the five-year plan implemented by the country has now reached the fourteenth five-year plan.

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The process of knowing yourself is actually like the process of a company knowing itself. It analyzes its strengths and weaknesses competitively, finds its own positioning, and then carries out strategic planning.

A company is called a brand, and self-understanding can be called a personal brand. Only by knowing yourself and building a personal brand can you be discovered by more potential opportunities and develop better.

No matter how round society makes you, please don’t forget that there is still a seed full of hope in your heart.

Re-recognize yourself, give birth to yourself again, and let him bloom again.