The young man proudly replied, "Yes, what do you think?"
"Then I want to ask you a question. If you are right, I will kowtow to you three times. If you are wrong, you should kowtow to me three times. I wonder if you can "?
The young man thought he was a disciple of Confucius, and the man in green said, "How many seasons do you say there are in a year?"
"Four seasons!" The young man blurted out without thinking.
"No, there are only three seasons in a year!" So they argued endlessly. At this time, Confucius passed by, and the young man met a savior, so he asked Confucius to judge. Confucius said with a smile, "There are only three seasons in a year! If you lose, kowtow to him! " The man in green clapped his hands and laughed, and left after the young man kowtowed.
The young man was puzzled and asked Confucius, "Why do you say three seasons? It's all four seasons! " Confucius said with a smile, "You are not convinced when you say you are stupid. I'm telling you now: this man is dressed in green. When arguing with you, he insists that there are only three seasons in a year. He is obviously a grasshopper. Grasshoppers live in spring and die in autumn. They have only experienced spring, summer and autumn in their lives, and have never seen winter, so there is no concept of' winter' in his mind. Fighting with such a person for three days and nights, you won't get any results. If you don't listen to him, can he leave so readily? Although you were fooled, you learned a great lesson. "
The story of "Three Seasons Xia" is not limited to ancient times, but still emerges endlessly today. One day, I discussed the driving force of innovation with a friend. He insists on starting from the needs of customers, and I insist on starting from personal motives. Neither of us can convince anyone, and even our faces are red. Finally, my friend threw a sentence "Summer insects can't talk about ice" and left angrily. When I first heard this sentence, I felt very harsh. I even replied to him in my mind: "You are a summer bug!" "
A few days later, a psychological counselor helped me to do internal treatment, cleaned up the emotions that had been deposited in my heart for many years and re-injected the energy of love. After psychological counseling, my heart has calmed down a lot and many tangled relationships have been improved. So, I described this magic to my lover, but he sneered: "Nonsense, all things without scientific basis!" " "After that, I will no longer share the harvest of personal growth.
The unhappy mood didn't last long, and another thing happened: a friend suddenly left a message on WeChat, complaining that the boss arranged his work unreasonably, which made him very entangled. At the same time, due to the change of the organization, his men are also facing the fate of falling apart, and everyone is in danger. For a time, he felt that all kinds of pressures were coming one after another, and he was too busy, hoping to get some help. From a friend's point of view, I suggest that he carefully consider his own direction, listen to his inner voice, and take a professional route to prepare for future emergencies. The friend replied, "that's easy for you to say, but I'm not you." Actually, I can't do it at all. Besides, I am too old to learn new things! " I was speechless for a moment and made up my mind that I would never interfere in other people's private affairs again, so as not to increase bad blood.
I suddenly thought of the story of Three Seasons, and began to understand that the cognition confined to time and space cannot be changed logically. Everyone thinks that they live in four seasons, and they also want others to reach their own time and space. However, if you drag him over by force, you will encounter the situation that "summer insects can't talk about ice and well frogs can't talk about Shanghai". If at this time, you feel that the other person is unrepentant, in fact, you are also caught in the "three seasons" thinking mode. Lao Tzu said, "Staff sergeant is diligent; The sergeant heard that living is death; The corporal smiled. If you don't laugh, that's not enough. " Many times, as long as you have experienced, practiced and experienced. If you want to force others to accept you emotionally and support you in action, it will be a twisted melon that cannot bear sweet fruit.
In this world, there are so many unexplored seasons that we always think that we are living in reincarnation, and this dream is so real that people trapped in it are hard to wake up. So we mistakenly think that what we see is the whole world, and we are willing to believe that what we see is the real world. From our respective positions, no one wants to cross the line.
I was in charge of a project during my service in an Internet head company. At that time, all aspects of professional work were ready, and the only problem was actually stuck in people: my boss parachuted in with VP, who temporarily left a department in the business department to do talent training and development because of the post, but the boss's boss and his colleagues thought this department was unnecessary. When it really happened, the boss wanted to get a foothold as soon as possible, so he started with business training and forcibly copied the contents of business training to make training materials for newcomers, which caused problems with the person in charge of the product department, and the relationship between them basically developed into incompatibility. In this case, you can imagine how painful it is for subordinates to start projects. But for newcomers, it smells so bad when they first arrive, that a small mistake turned into the Sarajevo incident, and the other party finally broke out and asked my boss to explain it. My boss is even better, throwing this hot potato to that unlucky guy. "This problem started with you, so you can find a way to solve it yourself." ...
In the end, the subordinate worked hard to resolve the crisis, but he couldn't find a sense of belonging in the organization, couldn't find a tree to rely on, and left his job soon. Later, several other colleagues also left the department because of various trivial matters. Within one year, the turnover rate of departmental staff is as high as 70%, and only a handful of them have worked for more than two years. In the office and in the circle of friends, everyone is afraid of himself. Originally, there were unlimited possibilities for the post-90 s small fresh meat. I closed my eyes for the sake of social conformity. Today, I got drunk and started a life of muddling along. It is really embarrassing.
So, how can we really achieve the four seasons?
The experience of a colleague and close friend of mine may answer this question: she started at the end of that era with a college degree. After graduation, she didn't have a suitable job and worked as a waitress in her own small restaurant. According to this trend, she may be a pot and pans all her life. However, one of her hobbies helped her-reading, and she never forgot to read under any circumstances. Under the guidance of books, she left her hometown and joined the Beipiao clan, starting with sales and making her debut. Later, he entered the enterprise university through the education industry, focusing on the research of communication and emotional intelligence. After seven years of grinding a sword, it finally broke into a butterfly. He is a manager, a best-selling author, a psychological counselor, a coach, and has multiple identities. She suddenly turned an unfavorable hand into a flush, and these setbacks in the past made Hua Song's prosperous days even more difficult. What is commendable is that she takes pleasure in helping others. With her help, more people get out of the psychological haze and actively participate in the infinite possible life. This story of my friend really confirms the saying that "it is better to be beautiful than to live beautifully". Only by knowing what you want and working hard around this goal can you finally reach the other side of hope.
Everything in the world, all kinds of disappointments, are inner projections. When you see something you don't like, allow it to exist and accept your imperfect self, you can accept others, grow and change. Do not deliberately, do not force, let nature take its course, the outer circle is inside, and the four seasons will eventually come.