"I heard a lot of truth, but I still can't get along." I don't know how many people I poked. This is an embarrassing question. Why does the principle of "right" often fail to achieve its due influence? This may be because people don't really accept it from the heart and follow it in practical actions. This question may be better understood from another popular saying, "Everyone knows the truth, but small emotions are hard to control". Yes, people have feelings and emotions, and most of the time, it is impossible to completely follow the principle of coldness. Therefore, if you want to influence people and convince them, you need to pay attention to people's emotional factors first.

Dry truth is not easy to convince. What you need is a "true story" to make the listener more emotionally acceptable. We have loved all kinds of stories since childhood, and naturally we have learned a lot from them. Those ancient wisdom are often handed down in the form of fables and stories. It can be seen that storytelling is a very effective educational method with strong influence and persuasiveness, and ancestors have long been familiar with the advantages of storytelling methods.

In the book "Story Thinking", the author Annette Simmons described story thinking in detail, "six story templates, nine narrative skills, 10 situational strategy", comprehensively explained story thinking and its application skills, and taught you how to tell your own story well.

The influence of a good story

First, why is story thinking more likely to affect people?

The use of story thinking is actually to enrich the necessary information such as truth, facts and needs from multiple dimensions, pay attention to people's emotional factors and details, let people feel the same experience from hearing, vision, emotion and imagination, and get more real and rich multi-level perception. The difference between these informative stories and pure information stories is just like the rich auditory enjoyment of a symphony to the auditory enjoyment of a single instrument. When people gain multi-dimensional rich perception, it is easier to experience the sense of identity of "being there" and to accept the impact from it.

The ancients in our country knew story thinking very well, and Touching the Dragon and Passing the Zhao is a very successful example of using story thinking. During the Warring States period, Qin attacked Zhao. Zhao turned to Qi for help, and Qi's youngest son was often taken hostage. Empress Zhao dotes on her youngest son, refusing to ask for it or accept the minister's advice.

When Touchdragon met Zhao, he forced him not to talk about it. He knew that everything Empress Zhao did was out of love for her son. So he first asked about the physical condition and diet of Empress Zhao, and this sincere concern eased the resistance of Empress Zhao. Then, Touchdragon asked to support his son, which made Queen Zhao feel a sense of identity and intimacy of "being poor and accepting the wind" and let go of her anger and hostility.

Later, Mo Long put forward the view that "taking care of children should be based on long-term consideration of children", and took out an example that other princes' descendants failed to maintain long-term wealth, euphemistically revealing to Zhao Hechang the significance and long-term benefits of often going together as a token. If you touch the dragon, you will consider it from the perspective and interests of Empress Zhao. This empathy made Empress Zhao successfully accept his suggestion.

Zhao's other ministers were rude and failed to convince Empress Zhao, because they only paid attention to the correctness of the truth, but ignored the personal emotional factors of Empress Zhao as a mother, and opposed the national interests with Empress Zhao's emotions, thus forming contradictions. Touching Dragon adopts the way of telling stories, suits the remedy to the case, starts from Queen Zhao's personal health and mother-child feelings, and transforms the opposing admonition relationship into emotional understanding and guidance, helping Queen Zhao unify her feelings with the interests of the country and children, resolving contradictions and successfully achieving the purpose of admonition.

Using story thinking to enhance influence

Second, how do we apply story thinking?

Story thinking can enhance people's influence and persuasiveness in various communication occasions such as relatives and friends, workplace and business. Story thinking explains many skills and details, which can help people practice and improve. In my opinion, when learning and exercising story thinking, individuals must change themselves before they can influence others.

1, change yourself.

Storytelling is not only a simple method and skill, but also a way of thinking.

First of all, through in-depth understanding and continuous practice, the story thinking mode should be internalized into the personal thinking system, so that the personal thinking mode will have another dimension and form a more comprehensive thinking framework. If we look at the problem from another angle, we will be able to consider it from another level and find a solution.

The second is to externalize story thinking into personal language and action. We learn skills and improve our abilities, of course, in order to make better use of them. The influence of the story should first be reflected in the individual, starting with "how to say" and "how to do".

For example, the story of Who am I? "No one knows who you really are. They can only summarize who you are through what they have seen and heard, limited communication with you, and other people's descriptions of you. " Therefore, what kind of person you want to be in the eyes of others must be shown in practical actions. If you want to be a United and friendly friend, you should say friendly words to your friends and take sincere and caring actions. Audrey Hepburn once said: "Beautiful lips, kind words; If you want lovely eyes, you must see the benefits of others. "

Using story thinking, you can gradually change yourself with actions and bring yourself closer to the beautiful goal you want.

Step 2 influence others

If you want to influence others, you must first learn to listen to others. Listening can bring you closer to others. You are friendly, and the other person can feel it. Only by truly understanding each other can we understand each other's real needs and tell appropriate stories to change each other. For example, in the previous example, touching the dragon is to understand Empress Dowager Zhao's personal emotional factors and her needs as a mother to safeguard her children, so as to tell the story of "considering the long-term interests of children".

Secondly, if you want to influence others, you should establish a good relationship with others early, not wait until the last minute. A good relationship is a slow and steady flow, and its influence on people is imperceptible in this process and gradually plays a role.

I still remember that Grandma Bai Er in "Big House Gate" spent a lot of money to buy a big house for her father-in-law in order to win over her powerful father-in-law. Every day, she kept offering sacrifices, gradually cultivating her close feelings with her own people. On weekdays, my father-in-law often wants to give her something in return, and she never asks for it or receives it. The opportunity to return to Baicaotang came. At the critical moment, Grandma Bai skillfully performed a scene in front of Chang Gonggong, guiding Chang Gonggong to take the initiative to help, which succeeded.

This example may not be so appropriate, but we can also see the importance of establishing and maintaining good relationships in advance to influence others.

This example just leads to this point, that is, the self-discipline of people who have strong influence on others. Influence is a very powerful ability. But this ability is also a double-edged sword. People who have mastered this ability need to properly restrain their behavior and exert their ability in positive things.

Tell a touching story.

Story thinking contains a lot of content, and the above is only a personal understanding of a small part. Story thinking is a good way of thinking, which can help people improve their influence and persuasiveness. Of course, the most important point is that action is the only way to achieve results. If you want to improve your influence, you need to practice constantly and master this skill in application.

When the truth cannot change others, let's learn to tell a touching story.

20 17.03. 10 rime

The picture comes from the internet.