advantages of

The sentence is fluent, the main line is clear, and the content is attached to the topic.

Disadvantages:

① The topic is too flat. "Only by finding out the problems can we make progress", this topic feels like the topic of primary school students' composition. If it is replaced by "the writing level stops because you don't know how to find problems" or "those invisible problems are the biggest reasons that hinder your progress", then readers should want to click on this article.

The title of an article is very important, because the first thing a reader sees is your title before she knows your content. Just like we usually look at people, we must look at the outside of the person first. If this person looks sloppy, then others are definitely not interested in him. Therefore, if the title is not good, even if your content is good, it is difficult to show it, because others will not come in at all.

② This article is a bit smug. In fact, we are quite shy about getting high when writing articles, because the articles we write should be read by readers, so we can't simply keep a diary.

③ The sentence is too colloquial. The expression "having grandparents to help" is too thick, and I think it can be expressed in another way.

④ When we write a theme, if we can sublimate it with golden sentences or famous sayings, it will definitely be icing on the cake. For example, when you sum up (in the red box), you can borrow some famous sayings, or you can write your thoughts more forcefully, which will leave a deep impression on readers.

⑤ Through observation and comparison, the author found out the reasons for the gap between himself and his friends in writing. I think, in this process, the author can completely expand the theme and use one or two examples to make progress. You might as well write like this: first, write about finding problems, that is, you find out what problems you have; Second, write to understand yourself through analysis and make yourself progress, so that the article will be sublimated.

When we write an article, we don't mean to write whatever we think. First, the article should be fluent, and secondly, we should have our own opinions and ideas.

2. "Mom, I won't disturb your work, so I'll leave when I kiss you": Have you ever felt the desire behind your child's understanding?

Advantages: This article is actually a typical new media hot article. The topic is quite good, and the whole structure is well grasped.

Disadvantages: Don't write unnecessary sentences in new media. Take the following picture as an example. The sentence in the little red box is completely unnecessary, and the two sentences in the big red box are too cumbersome, which can be refined into one sentence, that is, the child is very happy to know that he can meet his mother at the airport, and even carefully prepared a gift.

every sentence of the new media article should be useful, and the details need not be very clear. At the end of the article, the summary should be strong and the views and positions must be clear, so as to make the reader feel something and bring shock to his heart!

Third, there are snakes on all roads

Advantages: the main ideas are expressed in place, and the structure is also quite good, and it can solve the problem at the beginning.

Disadvantages:

① Although the article broke the topic at the beginning, it lacked skills and strength. For example, the first sentence of the original text, "From the appearance, there is a kind of good work that is someone else's work", was replaced by "The best in this world is always someone else's children, and the easiest is always someone else's work". The same meaning, different expressions, does it feel different?

② examples are too short, too many and too miscellaneous. This article is not a factual record. We give examples to demonstrate our views, so the expression of examples, the interpenetration of views and the sublimation of the tail should be done properly.

We use examples to elicit or demonstrate our own opinions. It plays a supporting and promoting role in the article, and at the same time, it also makes readers more interesting and relaxed to read, rather than just trying to gather words.

whether examples and opinions can be well combined is a difference between good and bad articles.

So, I suggest that before you write an article, you should list the structure, what the first paragraph is to say, what the second paragraph is to say, and what is the main line of the full text, so that you won't be confused when writing. Don't be too verbose about the same meaning. If you can make it clear in one sentence, don't say it in two sentences.

Fourth, Everyone needs a Walden Lake

Advantages: the ideas expressed are clear and the ending is well handled.

Disadvantages:

① The title of this article is "Everyone needs a Walden Lake", and the word "de" is missing. Perhaps the author thinks these small mistakes are nothing, but strictly speaking, "de, de and de" are often very particular. In my opinion, these details represent the author's attitude towards the article and prove whether you really care.

② In the article, the cohesion of the preceding and following sentences and the transition of the upper and lower paragraphs are not rigorous and natural enough. What "Walden Lake" stands for is not clearly explained by the author, which makes readers confused and can only guess at random.

③ The expression is not clear enough. It is a high-quality article that not only makes readers read easily and happily, but also makes them gain something.

At the beginning, the author wrote that life is very busy, but the next few paragraphs feel particularly awkward to read (see the picture below). I will make a slight modification here-we are busy every day, whether at work or in life, it is never easy; It's just that no matter how busy we are, we should keep a peace of mind and give ourselves some breathing space. The writer Thoreau was like this. He stayed away from the hustle and bustle, lived in a cabin next to Walden Lake and devoted himself to writing, thus writing the famous Walden Lake.

Let's take a look. When you write in another way, does the same meaning give people a very different feeling? It won't be so messy. Of course, you have to sublimate and summarize later, and you have to write clearly what you want to express.

V. Sister, the person who warms me all my life

Advantages: it is full of warmth and touching!

Disadvantages:

① The fifth and sixth paragraphs are abrupt, so it is more natural to make a transition.

② Looking at the whole article, I find that the frequency of the word "sister" is really too high. Some sentences can be tried in a different way, replaced by other words or set off by other sentences. The profile description is not necessarily so straightforward.

Finally, to reiterate, before writing, you should make clear the theme, then analyze what kind of views you want to express, and write in several sections, first list the topic, and then fill in the content.