You should be convinced that society will become more realistic in the future. As long as you are valuable, you will be surrounded by friends. If you are worthless, you will be surrounded by indifference.
The most valuable thing about time is that it can create value and wealth.
I feel more and more that chatting with worthless people is worse than talking nonsense with valuable people.
Chatting with worthless people is a kind of torture.
If you want to talk, talk about something useful, or don't talk to me. Because I want to use my time to create value.
01
What is a valuable person?
The fastest and most effective way to increase value is to see how many useful friends you have around you.
Japan’s former richest man, Kazuo Wansanro, famously said: “Don’t make friends with the poor.”
That’s right! Time and energy are limited. When making friends, don’t make friends with people who are worse than you. If you want to make friends, make friends with people who are more capable and better than you!
If you are a fish, you must find a place with water.
You are a woodcutter, and one day you meet a sheep herder, and the two of you chat for a whole day. Finally, the sheep herder has eaten his sheep and can go back. But what about your firewood?
That’s how making friends is. It’s not just a circle of people. If you don’t think about how to cut more firewood and talk to a sheepherder for a day, what will you do with your life? Do you also go to herd sheep?
Abandon those useless social interactions! Spend your time with people who deserve it. Some people seem to be chatting with you, but they are actually wasting your life.
Meaningless social interactions will only consume your energy and lower your quality of life.
A mediocre circle cannot reserve anything for your future.
On the contrary, it will assimilate you and become as mediocre as them.
Meaningless social interactions will only consume your energy and lower your quality of life.
Not all people are worth interacting with, and not all games are worth participating in.
As Yu Hua said:
"I no longer pretend to have many friends, but start living with my true self."
02
There is a topic on Zhihu: "How does the relationship between friends fade?"
One upvoted answer is:
"Why does no one admit it? It’s because the gap in social resources, status, and knowledge has widened, leaving the two of them with nothing to say and can only reminisce about the past. It’s boring, and because of human feelings, they are afraid of being accused of snobbishness, so they have to barely maintain their friendship.
However, many friends who got into trouble when they were young can only be remembered in memory, and many people who became friends because of kindness are only suitable for repaying kindness. Friends are people who need to exchange opinions, not just exchange feelings. "
Some people will always talk to you about things that happened 20 years ago. Taking out the old sesame seeds and rotten millet things from the past and chewing them over and over again is neither new nor interesting. .
If you don’t distance yourself from a friend like this, what are you waiting for?
If such people are too far away, the relationship will fade; if they are too close, grievances and resentments will arise.
Yan Ying, a good friend of Zhang Ailing, a talented girl in the Republic of China, once wrote several letters to her, but Zhang Ailing did not reply.
Yan Ying was full of grievances and said angrily: "I don't know what I did wrong to make you ignore me."
Zhang Ailing only left one decisive word. : "I don't like a person always talking to me about things that happened decades ago, as if I were a dead person."
Those intersections between people who stay in the past, the same topics also stay In the past.
Sometimes, the relationship between friends fades away because only memories are left.
The old days are worth remembering, but always remembering them will make people tired; the past events are worth recalling, but always remembering them will make people lose interest.
Life is obviously moving forward, and no one wants to dwell on the past.
03
People have different experiences, different ideas, and different patterns. Gradually, people in two worlds will form.
Everyone is his or her own screenwriter, writing different life scripts.
Some people write philosophy in their lives,
Some people write legends in their lives,
Some people write down plainness in their lives. ,
Some people have nothing to write about in their lives.
It is difficult for people with different lives to chat together and become friends.
Without the same living environment and different life circumstances, it would be difficult to be of the same mind and talk together.
Only when two people can talk well can the friendship continue.
After all, the intersection of words reflects the intersection of thoughts; and the intersection of thoughts also affects the intersection of friendship between two people.
The essence of maintaining a relationship is "matching".
Each other's ideas are always contrary to each other, and their communication is always contradictory. Such a friendship is difficult to maintain.
Beethoven once said: "The basis of friendship lies in the greatest similarity in the hearts and souls of two people."
You can understand what he is thinking, and he can understand Everything you say and do. Only when we have the same rhythm and consistent steps can we walk side by side.
In fact, all friendships are about "matching".
Only when you meet your opponent in chess can you meet good talents;
Only when you are evenly matched can you go forward in the long run.
04
Someone asked on Zhihu: "What moment made you want to give up a good friend?"
A high-profile answer was: "When two The personal growth rate is no longer at the same speed, and the three views of the two people are in conflict.
Mistakes can be forgiven, but they are no longer in the same world, so there is no way to communicate. ”
It’s like. I said the sea is beautiful, but you said many people have drowned in the sea.
How can we become friends if we have different feelings, frequencies, and perspectives? Then simply stay away from each other forever, which would be the greatest kindness to each other.
Only people with the same frequency will get along more comfortably and go further.
People with similar frequencies will eventually get together even if they travel across mountains and ridges;
People with different frequencies, even if they get along day and night, are not the same person after all.
When you are with someone who has the same frequency, he will understand your every look, every action, and every word you say.
He understands that you hesitate to speak. In front of him, you don’t need to pretend or show off, and you can be your truest self with peace of mind.
Whether it is a relationship between friends or lovers, only people with the same frequency will get along more comfortably and go longer.
In a person's life, only when you meet someone with the same frequency can you appreciate your uniqueness, understand your difficulties, know your warmth and warmth, understand your joys and sorrows, and give you the greatest spiritual support. Relief, soothe the troubles of your soul.
When you get along with someone whose frequency is different, when you like to do something, it feels meaningless in his eyes, or even despises you.
If you are interested in something, he will think you are talking nonsense and may even ridicule you.
You bravely pursue what you want, but he thinks you are trying to be strong, and even says you are overestimating your abilities...
Living with such a person is simply a pain. The torture is nothing more than mental pressure.
And with the same frequency, when people who understand you are together, your happiness will be doubled, and your mood will be happy.
As Liao Yimei said: "In this life, it is not rare to encounter love or sex. What is rare is to encounter understanding."
For the rest of your life, please find someone , people with the same frequency are together!
Conclusion
Those who can have a good conversation, have the same views and have the same cognition are the friends you want to make.
If there is a gap in the growth rate of two people, no matter how good their friendship is, they will gradually drift apart.
Only if they are equal in ability and equally matched in thinking can the friendship between two people last forever.
The greatest happiness in life is to find someone who can match you!
I hope you find someone who matches you!