As the saying goes, a really good education is to fight for your parents!
What is spelled here is not assets and rights, but parents' ideas, horizons, patterns, ways of thinking, ways of upbringing, and the family environment created.
Excellent children are never born, they are all traceable causes and effects, and this "cause" is parents.
Parents give their children a good way of education, which can make them take fewer detours in their growth.
Today, I will share with parents the nine golden education rules recommended by People's Daily. If you use them correctly, you will get twice the result with half the effort and help you cultivate an optimistic, self-disciplined and confident child.
0 1 fish tank rule
A small fish was put into a fish tank, and it was still a small fish several years later.
But one day, the fish tank was broken and the small fish was put into the pond. They miraculously grew into big fish.
The same is true of education. Only by breaking the "fish tank" can children get more development and their growth needs free space.
Those "great" children, very creative children, are surrounded by an "understanding" mother, or a creative father, or someone who appreciates his creative talents and is very interested in his "whimsy".
Therefore, please give children a relaxed growth environment, let them actively explore and create, give play to their talents, and let them try and make mistakes. That is a rare life wealth for children.
Teacher Zhang Yiming, the chairman of Winner Education, said: "All love in the world is aggregated love, and only the love of parents is separated love."
Parents should know how to quit at the right time, stay out of it, take care of their children's lives, give them free and independent space, and let them fly higher and go further.
02 Rosenthal effect
Rosenthal, an American psychologist, gave a "future development trend test" to the students from grade one to grade six 18 in a school, and then handed over the list of "the most promising people" to the headmaster and teachers, and told them to keep it secret.
Eight months later, a miracle appeared: the students on the list made great progress in their grades. They were lively, cheerful, confident, studious and more willing to deal with people.
Some people may question the list and think that these students are carefully selected, but the fact is that the students on the list are randomly selected.
Therefore, people usually use this sentence to vividly illustrate the Rosenthal effect: "Say you can, you can;" Say you can't do it, you can't do it. If you want a person to develop better, you must convey positive expectations to him, and positive expectations will promote people to develop in a good direction.
The enlightenment to parents is, "It is not as good as dozens to win one prize." Giving children more expectation and encouragement will change their lives.
03 law of reinforcement
Educator Ye Shengtao said: "The essence of education is to cultivate habits".
Good habits are a fortune that will benefit people for life. The key for children to form good habits lies in parents' guidance and setting an example.
There is a "whale experiment": scientists put a glass wall in the water, and whales and food are put aside. At first, the whale hit the glass, but when it found that it could not open it, it gave up.
Later, scientists pulled down the glass wall, but the whale thought there was a wall there, so it only moved to its own side.
The same is true of human behavior. After a period of time or some repeated experiences, it is fixed and becomes a habit.
Therefore, if children want to develop the habit of reading, they must accompany their children to study regularly every day; If you want your child to develop the habit of exercise, you should always exercise with your child. If you want children to get into the habit of not watching mobile phones, don't hold them in front of you all day. ...
Good habits lie in continuous strengthening.
A behavior repeatedly forms habits, habits repeatedly form quality, and quality changes fate.
The natural law of wolves
Wolves are the most curious animals in the world. They don't take anything for granted, but tend to study and experience it themselves.
Einstein said: "I have no special talent, only a strong curiosity." People who are always curious will always make progress. "
Curiosity is the source of all interests, and it is also the endless motivation for children to explore knowledge.
When children show curiosity about new things, parents should not interfere more, let alone stop them outright.
The wisest thing to do is to encourage children to think, guide them to ask questions and let them try and explore.
Children's curiosity is precisely the best way for them to grow up. As parents, we should try our best to protect children's curiosity and make interest his best teacher.
The law of dreams
Is it important to plant a dream seed for your child when you are young?
Zhang Yiming's daughter's experience is the best answer. A 12-year-old child is determined to raise money to study abroad through speeches. The determination is shocking! The reason is that when she was 6 years old, she made it clear that she would go to school in Switzerland when she was 12 years old.
In these six years, the seeds of this dream have been sprouting and growing, supporting her to overcome many difficulties and move towards the established goals step by step. No matter what happens, she can't shake her determination. This is the power that dreams bring.
When a child knows what he wants in his heart, every step he takes is more practical and powerful.
What parents should do is to help their children find their dreams, become stepping stones and strong backing on their way to realize their dreams, and support and encourage their children to move towards their goals.
06 south wind law
The north wind is worse than the south wind. Let's see who can take off the coat of pedestrians. The north wind is biting, and pedestrians are wrapping their coats more and more tightly. The south wind blew slowly, which was warm and pleasant, and pedestrians took off their coats.
This is the famous "south wind method", also called "warm method".
The south wind law tells people that tolerance is a more powerful force than punishment.
The same is true of educating children. Blindly criticizing and accusing will only make children more and more rebellious and disobedient. Giving children enough care and warmth, and using gentle and drizzling education methods are far more effective than arbitrary and rude punishment.
Every child can make mistakes. Parents should tolerate their children's shortcomings and deal with various problems in daily life objectively, rationally and scientifically. While being considerate of children, we should do our own training work from our own perspective, so as to better educate children.
Natural punishment method
Rousseau, a French educator, said: "The punishment for children should be the natural result of his mistakes."
Therefore, he put forward the "natural punishment law".
Simply put, it is to give children a chance to try, even if it is a wrong thing, let them bear the direct consequences of the mistake, experience painful punishment in self-suffering, understand the seriousness of the consequences of the mistake, learn to reflect on themselves, and consciously make up and correct the mistake.
For example, a child must insist on doing one thing, and parents only need a simple reminder. If the child does not believe, he can be allowed to do what he thinks, but the consequences will be borne by him alone.
This is the law of natural punishment, which strengthens the painful experience and allows children to learn from it.
08 delay satisfaction rule
There is a famous "candy experiment" in America: dozens of children, each sitting alone in a small classroom, with their favorite candy on the table.
The researchers told the children that they could eat the candy immediately, but there was no reward. You can also wait until the researchers come back, so that you can get an extra piece of candy.
Most children can't resist the temptation of candy and choose to eat it directly. Only a small number of children insisted on not eating candy until the researchers came back.
Later research found that those children who can resist temptation have clearer goals in their future lives, are more able to bear short-term interests and are more likely to succeed in their careers.
This is the law of delayed satisfaction.
In educating children, the parenting method of "delaying satisfaction" is also derived to cultivate children's patience.
That is, when children put forward their needs, they should not meet them immediately, but set some conditions for them to cultivate patience, willpower and perseverance in waiting and persisting.
Respect the law
Mr. Lu Xun said that treating children "doesn't treat him as a person when he is young, and he can't be a person when he is old." Children will treat themselves and the whole world as we treat them.
The first thing parents should give their children is respect.
Research shows that the IQ of children in families with equal parent-child relationship, mutual respect and communication is significantly higher than that of other children.
Self-esteem is an emotional experience of being unwilling to lag behind and believing that you are no worse than others.
In order for children to really grow up, they should be allowed to "stand up" from an early age, instead of "squatting" and looking up at those big people. This reciprocal way can make children have a confident and sound personality.
Write it at the end
What kind of family environment determines what kind of family education, and the source of family education is parental education.
Parental education is the foundation, although invisible, but quite important. It absorbs nutrients for the whole tree. You can't expect barren roots to bear rich fruits.
Qualified parents should be role models for their children's life and help them become the best themselves.